advice tred

All words, all the time.
User avatar
rookie1978
Posts: 285
Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2019 10:01 pm
Location: burgerland South Carolina
Pronouns: any & all
Classpect: Lord of Rage
Moon: Prospit
Contact:

Re: advice tred

Post by rookie1978 » Tue Dec 03, 2019 7:08 am

why beans
Image

User avatar
BrobyDDark
Posts: 664
Joined: Thu Nov 21, 2019 12:16 am

Re: advice tred

Post by BrobyDDark » Tue Dec 03, 2019 7:20 am

arachnidsGrip wrote:
Tue Dec 03, 2019 6:29 am
How to deal with anger? Petty stuff like anger over an argument, or over something small going wrong. Anger management isn't my strong suit. :tense:
Well, the way I do it is broken into different steps:

Step one is taking a step back from whatever made you angry. When a friend of mine says something stupid and riles me up, I just step away from the forum/discord and go off to do something else.

Step two is rationalizing that anger. That may sound unhealthy or toxic, but the way I see it is, you're not rationalizing why it's GOOD to be angry, you're rationalizing why you became angry and how you can avoid that in the future. For instance, at the start you may feel "I'm angry because that person's an idiot/a dickhead/ignorant" but you may come down to "I am angry because they said something I can't agree with/they said something meant to rile me up/they said something hurtful to a cause I believe in out of ignorance." The point isn't to be angry at the other person, or the game, or the thing that made you angry, but rather to understand that something made you angry, and if you can come to terms with it.

Step 3 is the Find Something Else step. Basically, once you've rationalized your anger, find something else away from it. Something that won't stress you or make you angry. Like baking, drinking tea, cleaning up the house a bit, going for a walk. I've found being outside helps for anger, sadness, and panic attacks, so long as it isn't mosquito season.

Step 4 is acceptance of your new calm state. You may now go back to doing what made you mad before.

User avatar
Generalrabogolfo
Posts: 1193
Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2019 7:08 pm
Location: Caliborn's Tummy
Pronouns: El, el rabo
Classpect: bard of mind
Moon: Derse

Re: advice tred

Post by Generalrabogolfo » Tue Dec 03, 2019 12:03 pm

how to stop looking like an asshole for laughing at everything
:rosecool:

User avatar
BrobyDDark
Posts: 664
Joined: Thu Nov 21, 2019 12:16 am

Re: advice tred

Post by BrobyDDark » Tue Dec 03, 2019 12:37 pm

Generalrabogolfo wrote:
Tue Dec 03, 2019 12:03 pm
how to stop looking like an asshole for laughing at everything
Practice a more genuine-sounding laugh.

User avatar
arachnidsGrip
Posts: 114
Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2019 9:32 pm
Location: Washington, USA
Pronouns: They/Them
Classpect: Page of Light
Moon: Derse

Re: advice tred

Post by arachnidsGrip » Tue Dec 03, 2019 2:21 pm

BrobyDDark wrote:
Tue Dec 03, 2019 7:20 am
arachnidsGrip wrote:
Tue Dec 03, 2019 6:29 am
How to deal with anger? Petty stuff like anger over an argument, or over something small going wrong. Anger management isn't my strong suit. :tense:
Well, the way I do it is broken into different steps:

Step one is taking a step back from whatever made you angry. When a friend of mine says something stupid and riles me up, I just step away from the forum/discord and go off to do something else.

Step two is rationalizing that anger. That may sound unhealthy or toxic, but the way I see it is, you're not rationalizing why it's GOOD to be angry, you're rationalizing why you became angry and how you can avoid that in the future. For instance, at the start you may feel "I'm angry because that person's an idiot/a dickhead/ignorant" but you may come down to "I am angry because they said something I can't agree with/they said something meant to rile me up/they said something hurtful to a cause I believe in out of ignorance." The point isn't to be angry at the other person, or the game, or the thing that made you angry, but rather to understand that something made you angry, and if you can come to terms with it.

Step 3 is the Find Something Else step. Basically, once you've rationalized your anger, find something else away from it. Something that won't stress you or make you angry. Like baking, drinking tea, cleaning up the house a bit, going for a walk. I've found being outside helps for anger, sadness, and panic attacks, so long as it isn't mosquito season.

Step 4 is acceptance of your new calm state. You may now go back to doing what made you mad before.
I'll try that the next time I find myself arguing about politics with my ancient family members. Thank you!
Image

User avatar
tajazzled
Posts: 61
Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2019 8:33 pm
Location: hell
Classpect: maid of hope
Moon: Prospit
Contact:

Re: advice tred

Post by tajazzled » Wed Dec 04, 2019 6:47 pm

rookie1978 wrote:
Tue Dec 03, 2019 7:08 am
why beans
protein and good
Generalrabogolfo wrote:
Tue Dec 03, 2019 12:03 pm
how to stop looking like an asshole for laughing at everything
laugh at yourself, as well

User avatar
MorganMustDie
Posts: 556
Joined: Sat Nov 16, 2019 5:26 pm
Pronouns: f

Re: advice tred

Post by MorganMustDie » Wed Dec 04, 2019 10:16 pm

How can I get started in electronic music production? It is a hobby that is gatekept by absurdly expensive hard and software, which produces minimal returns for a very long time regardless if you use the high-grade tools or trap yourself using the often-disappointing cheap/free alternatives
Image Perfection.

User avatar
Generalrabogolfo
Posts: 1193
Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2019 7:08 pm
Location: Caliborn's Tummy
Pronouns: El, el rabo
Classpect: bard of mind
Moon: Derse

Re: advice tred

Post by Generalrabogolfo » Thu Dec 05, 2019 4:57 am

tajazzled wrote:
Wed Dec 04, 2019 6:47 pm
laugh at yourself, as well
But I do that already! It doesnt work! :jadesob: :jadesob:
:rosecool:

User avatar
tajazzled
Posts: 61
Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2019 8:33 pm
Location: hell
Classpect: maid of hope
Moon: Prospit
Contact:

Re: advice tred

Post by tajazzled » Sun Dec 15, 2019 7:15 pm

Generalrabogolfo wrote:
Thu Dec 05, 2019 4:57 am
tajazzled wrote:
Wed Dec 04, 2019 6:47 pm
laugh at yourself, as well
But I do that already! It doesnt work! :jadesob: :jadesob:
laugh harder!!!!!!!!!!!!

User avatar
classpectanon
Site Admin
Posts: 405
Joined: Mon Oct 28, 2019 3:45 pm
Pronouns: They/It
Classpect: Sylph of Light
Moon: Derse

Re: advice tred

Post by classpectanon » Mon Dec 16, 2019 11:16 am

MorganMustDie wrote:
Wed Dec 04, 2019 10:16 pm
How can I get started in electronic music production? It is a hobby that is gatekept by absurdly expensive hard and software, which produces minimal returns for a very long time regardless if you use the high-grade tools or trap yourself using the often-disappointing cheap/free alternatives
download a tracker and start fiddling around with it. i use sunvox and it's easy for an idiot like me, but trackers are more than just for chiptunes and, imo, the way they are arranged and laid out makes it a lot easier to sort of see what's going on, musically.
I'm more easily reached at classpectanon#4228 on Discord. I will respond to reports faster there because PHPBB's notification system is borked and doesn't email me when you report things.

User avatar
arachnidsGrip
Posts: 114
Joined: Fri Nov 15, 2019 9:32 pm
Location: Washington, USA
Pronouns: They/Them
Classpect: Page of Light
Moon: Derse

Re: advice tred

Post by arachnidsGrip » Mon Dec 16, 2019 2:55 pm

How do I focus? I can't prioritize work and it has been causing me hell for ages. I'm literally in class right now writing this question during a lecture, as an example. Like, the teacher is literally talking in front of the class, and I'm facing him and typing away at this. I just... I can't focus on it. Every time there's a reading, I just stare at the book until we're done. I put off schoolwork until the very last second. I can't absorb any of this info that I'm being fed during class. How do I deal with that? I guess my question is, how do I force myself to focus and take in information when I need to?
Image

User avatar
classpectanon
Site Admin
Posts: 405
Joined: Mon Oct 28, 2019 3:45 pm
Pronouns: They/It
Classpect: Sylph of Light
Moon: Derse

Re: advice tred

Post by classpectanon » Mon Dec 16, 2019 4:35 pm

arachnidsGrip wrote:
Mon Dec 16, 2019 2:55 pm
How do I focus? I can't prioritize work and it has been causing me hell for ages. I'm literally in class right now writing this question during a lecture, as an example. Like, the teacher is literally talking in front of the class, and I'm facing him and typing away at this. I just... I can't focus on it. Every time there's a reading, I just stare at the book until we're done. I put off schoolwork until the very last second. I can't absorb any of this info that I'm being fed during class. How do I deal with that? I guess my question is, how do I force myself to focus and take in information when I need to?
ritalin
I'm more easily reached at classpectanon#4228 on Discord. I will respond to reports faster there because PHPBB's notification system is borked and doesn't email me when you report things.

User avatar
calamityCons
Posts: 894
Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2019 9:25 pm
Pronouns: they/he
Classpect: Prince of Doom
Moon: Derse
Contact:

Re: advice tred

Post by calamityCons » Mon Dec 16, 2019 5:30 pm

arachnidsGrip wrote:
Mon Dec 16, 2019 2:55 pm
How do I focus? I can't prioritize work and it has been causing me hell for ages. I'm literally in class right now writing this question during a lecture, as an example. Like, the teacher is literally talking in front of the class, and I'm facing him and typing away at this. I just... I can't focus on it. Every time there's a reading, I just stare at the book until we're done. I put off schoolwork until the very last second. I can't absorb any of this info that I'm being fed during class. How do I deal with that? I guess my question is, how do I force myself to focus and take in information when I need to?
I recommend you practice focusing and mindfulness in smaller chunks before trying to pay better attention to your environment before jumping to ritalin or other medications. See if you can learn to focus for one minute at a time, then five, then ten, increasing in length and learning to do so on command. If it is still difficult, you can speak with a medical professional about it to discuss diagnosis of ADHD or similar.
Image
#ReviveSpadesSlick #WVForNarrativeRelevance

User avatar
TobeWonInToronto
Posts: 75
Joined: Tue Nov 19, 2019 6:51 pm
Location: The Godhalls of Ontario
Pronouns: she/her
Classpect: Lord of the Color Red
Moon: Derse
Contact:

Re: advice tred

Post by TobeWonInToronto » Thu Dec 26, 2019 8:43 pm

How to wipe the slate clean in a friendship? I know it's very hard to just get rid of a certain perception, full-stop, but I have an incessant need for instant gratification when it comes to gritty emotional things and I can't shake that. It's not worth changing if people are just going to hate you anyway.
Image

User avatar
calamityCons
Posts: 894
Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2019 9:25 pm
Pronouns: they/he
Classpect: Prince of Doom
Moon: Derse
Contact:

Re: advice tred

Post by calamityCons » Thu Dec 26, 2019 9:29 pm

Uh.

If someone has been hurt by you in the friendship, and they’re unwilling to forgive you, it is not okay for you to force the issue and push them to forgive and forget. Your best option is to move on from the friendship, and respect their autonomous decision not to have you in their life as much as you used to be.
Image
#ReviveSpadesSlick #WVForNarrativeRelevance

User avatar
TobeWonInToronto
Posts: 75
Joined: Tue Nov 19, 2019 6:51 pm
Location: The Godhalls of Ontario
Pronouns: she/her
Classpect: Lord of the Color Red
Moon: Derse
Contact:

Re: advice tred

Post by TobeWonInToronto » Fri Dec 27, 2019 7:47 pm

calamityCons wrote:
Thu Dec 26, 2019 9:29 pm
Uh.

If someone has been hurt by you in the friendship, and they’re unwilling to forgive you, it is not okay for you to force the issue and push them to forgive and forget. Your best option is to move on from the friendship, and respect their autonomous decision not to have you in their life as much as you used to be.
I disagree. I think perceptions can always change. I may have misspoke, but there's definitely a willingness on both sides to fix things at some point. I've lost enough people, so if there is a way to fix this, then not only will I not move on, I'd be doing everyone involved a disservice. It becomes unhealthy to just start disposing people left and right over things that can be rectified.
Image

User avatar
TobeWonInToronto
Posts: 75
Joined: Tue Nov 19, 2019 6:51 pm
Location: The Godhalls of Ontario
Pronouns: she/her
Classpect: Lord of the Color Red
Moon: Derse
Contact:

Re: advice tred

Post by TobeWonInToronto » Fri Dec 27, 2019 8:02 pm

How to get good at art?
Image

User avatar
BrobyDDark
Posts: 664
Joined: Thu Nov 21, 2019 12:16 am

Re: advice tred

Post by BrobyDDark » Fri Dec 27, 2019 8:04 pm

TobeWonInToronto wrote:
Fri Dec 27, 2019 8:02 pm
How to get good at art?
Practice. Daily.

User avatar
classpectanon
Site Admin
Posts: 405
Joined: Mon Oct 28, 2019 3:45 pm
Pronouns: They/It
Classpect: Sylph of Light
Moon: Derse

Re: advice tred

Post by classpectanon » Fri Dec 27, 2019 11:12 pm

TobeWonInToronto wrote:
Fri Dec 27, 2019 8:02 pm
How to get good at art?
Practice daily and read books from people who are better at it than you are -- I've heard particularly high praise for Fun with a Pencil by Andrew Loomis.
I'm more easily reached at classpectanon#4228 on Discord. I will respond to reports faster there because PHPBB's notification system is borked and doesn't email me when you report things.

User avatar
syrupsand
Posts: 136
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2019 8:49 am
Location: ☭☭
Pronouns: any
Classpect: confusing af no idea
Moon: Derse

Re: advice tred

Post by syrupsand » Tue Jun 16, 2020 7:23 am

How to die
Image

Post Reply