Homestuck.XYZ 2.0

Morning comes. With it, the sun rises on a brand new day for this brand-new hippo teen. And it's the freakin' weekend, babey, so this teen has the whole world at his hooves or feet or whatever hippos have. Hooves, right? No, I think they just have regular feet. Idk, I guess it doesn't matter because he's already got shoes on anyway?? This Big Hoof Question will just have to be a mystery left for a later date.

With that behind us, let's figure out what lies in store for this little guy!

You've got the entire domain of teendom to explore, so with that power, there is only one question that really begs answering right now:

what will you do?


Edit: Decided to mirror it over on MPSFA!

> Hippo Teen: Take sunglasses off. It's 12:12 AM.

>Hippo teen: Let us enter a stupid name for you. As is tradition

> Hippo Teen: Take sunglasses off. It's 12:12 AM.

As a TEEN on THE WEEKEND, you decided for yourself that you could stay up past midnight o'clock. Very bold of you, but how can you see with those shades on when it's so dark??

Let's scope out your bishounen li'l peepers.

There. Much better. You add your COOL SHADES to your INVENTORY. You have five (5) slots left.

> Hippo teen: Let us enter a stupid name for you. As is tradition.

lmao what are you? 13? You're on the precipice of HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION! The lingering anxiety that comes with entering the adult world creeps into the back of your mind on a daily basis as your teenhood wanes faster than you'd like! You're done with the YA Naming Ritual! That's hackneyed babyteen stuff! But you SUPPOSE that you could play with the idea of a NICK-NAME. You don't just give your REAL NAME out to ANYONE, especially to strangers on the world-wide web! That's DANGEROUS!

What will the nick-name of this young teen be?

> Knock of Barney

> Nigel Bleptonne

Groose the cooked goose

> Knock-off Barney


That nasty, purple man stirs something inside of you, something dark yet... familiar.

You decide not to be Barney.

It's too dangerous.

> Nigel Bleptonne


Unfortunately, your ALLOCATED NICK-NAME CHARACTER LIMIT does not let you fit NIGEL BLEPTONNE. You could simply go with NIGEL, or even BLEPTONNE, but the two together? You're afraid a nick-name like that would be too strong.

> Groose the cooked goose.


Oof. That's pretty tempting. You almost want to nix the character limit bit! But are you really willing to set this Groose goose loose?? This early?

If you choose to go down this path, there's no telling what might happen... Are you sure you want your first playthrough of CHUDSOFT to be a GROOSE% speedrun?

King Geese

>lil Cal

> Blepoose.

> Lil Cal.


What the fuck?

(I'd have done more, but--oops!--I've gotta go to work!)

fuck it, go with Chud!

> call up tony hawk. he has some explaining to do

> Blepoose.


That's right! Your nick-name was BLEEPOOSE! You were assigned that name when you clicked RANDOM on an old MMO called CartoonSaloonOnline that you used to play with your best buddy, THE CHUNGLER. God, you two must've been about 11 when you played that game. So young. So naive. Honestly, you still play sometimes, but just when you're feelin' nostalgic. You almost decided to buy a members account again, but allowances don't come cheap these days! It's almost like you're being expected to start earning your own money or something. Yuck, dude. You can't be spending your limited coldhardcash on cartoon games for babies anymore, tragically.

> fuck it, go with Chud!


Anyway, enough dillying and especially enough goddamned dallying. You're wasting candlelight right now. It's time to introduce yourself already!

Your name is CHUD THUCK KANKLE, hip and young! As previously established, you are a HIP, YOUNG HIPPO TEENAGER! You love one thing, and that's BEING COOL! You also love one more thing, which is PLAYING SPORTS! You love to SKATE at the PARK with your BROS after school! You've also been known to HACKEY around a SACK or two, and you're PRETTY GOOD AT IT! You've been known to dabble a little in THE ILLICIT power of DANK MAGICKS from time to time, but the less said about that, the better. This is a Christian server after all. Your parents wish you'd spend more time PLAYING GAMES like MAGIC: THE GATHERING, but you don't really have the right brain for games that involve STRATEGY! You'd rather lean on your SKILL and your MAGIC stat, choosing to dump your INTELLIGENCE and POWER.

When you're not chilling with your bros, you spend a lot of your time TRAINING and SPARRING both with your friends from the MARTIAL ARTS CLUB and with THE CUNK, whom you study under.

Now that we know a little bit about who you are, let's get this night freakin' STARTED!

> Call up Tony Hawk. He has some explaining to do.


Hm?? Oh, do you mean Toni Hawke?

You're absolutely right. The man borrowed your DRAGON BALL GT: A HERO'S LEGACY DVD, and you need it back ASAP! You wanted to watch it with a bro later!

>Sudenly gain interest in better anime

> Chud: Go get that Grand Tour back!

> Do a rad kickflip for no reason at all.

> Chud: Go get that Grand Tour back!

Give him a second.

Chud: >go to Toni's house