Homestuck.XYZ 2.0

This is a mirror of Dr. Save, which you can read on MSPFA: https://mspfa.com/?s=28789

Mirroring 76 pages at once will take a while, so it will be a while before I get to the point where I can accept suggestions from the forum guys.

Anyway...





You are Dr. Save, a sports journalist running a column in the local online newspaper. Your column, which details bizarre rules in various sports, garners considerable traffic. Your contributions are rewarded handsomely. It's a lovely spring morning, and right now you feel like you could take on anything.

What's on the agenda for today?

(mirrorpost 1/6)

[WARNING: This comic has an autosave feature. When you see this icon, do not turn off your XBOX.]
(✓)

Dr. Save: Look outside.



You go ahead and look out the window.



Sometimes it feels miraculous that the paper you work for has secured such a nice beachfront property. You get a lovely view of the sunrise, and everything.



Sometimes, when you're having a bad day, you feel like the property value of this building goes down whenever you're inside of it.



Today isn't a bad day, though. Not yet.

Dr. Save: Look at flags.





They're called pennants!

Also, none of them are for actual teams.

Dr. Save: Examine typewriter.



Your typewriter appears to be fully functional, but there's no paper...

That sucks, because you wanted to get some writing done today!

Dr. Save: Exit room.



You set yourself up to leave the room, maybe fetch some paper from the supply closet, when you make a shocking realization...



The doorknob is far too high for your feet to reach!

(mirrorpost 2/??)

Dr. Save: Type on the typewriter.



You press a whole bunch of buttons on the typewriter, to no visible effect.
You've got to get some paper!

Dr. Save: Use mouth to open the doorknob.



Hmmm...

Not only would fellating the doorknob look incredibly stupid, you don't feel like your jaws are strong enough to even turn the thing.

Dr. Save: Examine scarf-looking thing on desk.



Upon closer inspection, it seems your desk has been a cardboard box the entire time - And the scarf is just a strip of tape.

This probably changes everything.

Dr. Save: Open box.



You rip the tape off of the box and open it up. This action displaces the typewriter to another part of the room.



You put the tape in your THINGS, a sort of metaphysical collection where you can store actual physical things until they are needed. Maybe later you'll need some packing tape, who knows?

Dr. Save: Examine contents of box.



Whoa! Things!



They neatly lay themselves out on the floor.

Found:
Aluminum Baseball Bat
Miniature Radio

Dr. Save: Ponder your existence like a lost child.



Rude!
You're confused, not lost. You know exactly where you are.
The thought that these could potentially be mixed up works you into a tizzy.

Dr. Save: Publish article on the intricacies of Calvinball.



ou'd love to do that! But there is one fatal flaw you are faced with that prevents you from doing such:

No Paper

You hold up your typewriter for emphasis.
This would be weird if anybody was watching you right now.

(Mirrorpost 3/??)

Dr. Save: Turn on radio.



You turn on the radio. Sounds like it's tuned to the sports station, and a game of good old-fashioned baseball is underway.

"Top of the first..."

Dr. Save: Equip aluminum bat.



"Mendez lines up to the plate."

Dr. Save: Hit a home run on the door knob.



"Here comes the pitch- Straight down the middle-"



"POW!"



"Straight down center field,"



"And that ball is GONE! Adrian Mendez scores his first homer of the season!"

Dr. Save: Use doorknob on window.


You don't think this accomplishes anything. It does make a satisfying tapping noise, though.

Dr. Save: Open the window.



You would, but it appears that the window lock dealie is welded in place! That option is a no go.

Dr. Save: Store doorknob with your things.



Ok. You store the doorknob with your Things. There it is, alongside the TAPE.

(mirrorpost 4/??)

Dr. Save: Use bat on window.



This seems like a bad idea, but sure.



KAPOW!




Well, you absolutely did not anticipate this happening, of all things. The window (?) falls to the ground and topples over, displacing every item in the room.

There is a rectangle scribbled on the wall behind where the window (?) was, along with the letters "LS" and some other words. The room feels a little bit stuffier than it used to.

What will you make of this?

Dr. Save: Read what's below LS.



What you can glean from this is that there were plans to carve a hole here and put an actual window, but they fell through. That means the people in charge of this room had to opt for something else... You see how that turned out.

Dr. Save: Pick up window. Examine.



This thing has a definite frame, and panes made of some kind of transparent material resistant to the force of a metal softball bat...



However, a closer inspection reveals that beneath the faux window was simply a painting - If you can even call it that! All it looks to be is gray lines on a plain white canvas.



Oh, and the backside of the window has the same "LS" monogram that you've already seen, confirming that these guys simply chose the next best thing.

Dr. Save: Contemplate the meaning of LS.




... Nothing immediately comes to mind.

(mirrorpost 5/??)

Dr. Save: Rise and remove your hat.



No way, dude! This hat is pretty much your identity at this point. Its removal will spell the end times for your entire journalistic career - and you don't want that.

(S) Dr. Save: Change the radio station.



Noticing an extended lull in the baseball game you've been listening to, you slide the tuner until you hear something interesting.

What you hear sounds vaguely musical, but it's kind of hard to tell, and you can't seem to find a frequency that lets you hear what this is with any sort of clarity.

Dr. Save: Do those legs go all the way up?



Wouldn't you like to know?

Dr. Save: Take pennant off wall. Fold into paper airplane.



Alright. You take the pennant off of the wall, and... Oh? What's this? Some kind of envelope?



This room just keeps getting more and more interesting.

Dr. Save: Look at envelope.



On the front of the envelope, which is made of black construction paper, is the same LS monogram you've seen plenty of times already, printed in silver ink.



On the back, however, is your full name. Not only does it massively weird you out that someone out there knows your real name, but you're also quite peeved that they couldn't bother to put your honorific either.

It's Doctor Laurel D. Save! You didn't get your Ed.D. for nothing!

(mirrorpost 6/??)

Dr. Save: Read contents of envelope.

(I can't mirror the cool CSS the original page has, so instead view it on MSPFA)



You tear open the envelope in a manner that isn't important enough to visualize. The paper inside is also black construction paper printed with silver ink.
(mirrorpost 7/??)

Dr. Save: Put the doorknob back onto the door and turn it.



It would appear there is a problem. Apparently you liberated the knob from its door with such force that it tore quite a good chunk of material off. Plus, the knob on the other side and its housing appear to be missing as well.

Dr. Save: Can you open the door now that the doorknob is gone?



That depends on whether or not you can do the thing you're about to do successfully.

You shrug but it doesn't look like much due to your very clear lack of arms.

Dr. Save: Kick down the door.



Actually, you do more of a forward ramming motion, but details.

The door easily comes off of the hinges and you emerge in a new area.

(✓) Dr. Save: Examine new room.



Immediately, you notice looking around that this room is much more spacious than your "office", especially toward the left. Below your feet is the door that you pushed down. To the left of that door is another pennant that's probably odd, but you can't entirely be sure.

Additionally, there is also what appears to be a sheer chasm ahead of you.

You get a distinct feeling you're forgetting something.

Dr. Save: Look at other side of room.



You look towards the left of the room. Seems this chasm is wider than you thought.
An important detail is the door that seems to not have a floor it can be easily entered from. The door doesnt have a handle, but it does seem to have a smaller door within that sort of resembles the lid of a mail chute.

(mirrorpost 8)

Dr. Save: Look down pit.



You look down into the pit. It's also deeper than you thought...

Your FAMILIARITY bar takes a hit. You suddenly feel a little bit less confident about your situation.

Dr. Save: Inspect pennant for anything of interest.




Ooh, some money!

You acquire 1 raocoin.

Dr. Save: Go back into office.



Yeah, you're just gonna.
Go back where you feel safe. Yeah.

Dr. Save: Grab bat.



You take your bat and stow it inside your THINGS.... Because it's a wieldable weapon, a special temporary slot is created, next to the five existing slots.

Now you have:
[Metal Bat]
Tape
Doorknob
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing



In addition to your things making a new space in your inventory, you also automatically learn a new WEAPON skill, to facilitate the bat's use as a weapon.

HOME RUN - Lv. 1

You'll have to see what this entails later.



You also feel quite a bit comfortable with this offensive implement now in your possession. Your FAMILIARITY returns to normal.

Dr. Save: Is this normal for the outside of your office?



No. No it's not.

But it's a long and embarrassing story and you don't have the gumption to explain it in detail right now.

Sorry.

Dr. Save: Store typewriter with things.



Sure thing. It's important enough. You wouldn't want to lose it.

Your things now:

[Metal Bat]
Tape
Doorknob
Typewriter
Nothing
Nothing

(mirrorpost 9)

Dr. Save: Bat doorknob at door across pit.



This whole plan hinges on the fact that there's a door somewhere across the pit, but you'll oblige your conscience this once.
Also, it wasn't worth showing, but you did put your door back up upon exiting your office for the second time.



Huh! This is interesting. Your bat still manifests, but instead of being removed from your things, a red square appears over the weapon slot. Apparently, this means that the bat is being used.



Moment of truth. You whack the knob across the pit.



And would you look at that! There is a door on the other side!
It would appear rather difficult to get to, but it certainly exists.

Your things now:

[Metal Bat]
Tape
Nothing
Typewriter
Nothing
Nothing

Dr. Save: Drop radio down pit to test its depth.



Sure. Wouldn't hurt to try.



You drop the radio promptly down the hole.



It hits the ground with a loud crash. Sounds like it broke during the fall. It would be unwise, though, to drop down yourself and survey the damage.

May it rest in peace.

Dr. Save: Use box to construct a fort.



Does "flip over box" count?

Box flipped over.

Dr. Save: Break open window.



This seems like a very bad idea, but you can't shake the thought.
Whatever. Here goes nothing.




Wait. Didn't you already try this? Didn't the window not break the first time you hit it?

Why'd you try again?

Stupid.

(mirrorpost 10 - pages 46 thru 49)

Dr. Save: Is there any way across?



Doesn't look like it! We're welcome to try and make it work, though.

Dr. Save: Can you reach that door in the middle of the room (the one with no floor below) with your metal bat?



No. Even reaching as far across as you can, you can't seem to get there.

Dr. Save: Tether across with something?



Tether across with what?

Dr. Save: How far can you jump?



Hm...



Not far enough for it to matter. You'd most likely just plummet to your severe injury.



Looks like you've hit a dead end...



???: HEY!



???: What do you think you're doing out here?



You have never seen this person in your life.

He seems to be mad at you for some reason, and he's holding a police baton.

How will you deal with this?

Dr. Save: Chat.



It should be quite obvious right now that you only want minimal interaction.

So rather than talk to this dude, you're just gonna head straight to your office, where you can pace around and mope about your lack of options in peace.



BLUE GUY:
Hold it!
Walk no farther!
You are being held responsible for quite a-

DR. SAVE:
excuse me?
i'm sorry
i'm trying to get back in my office

GUY:
You have damaged Local Sportive prop-

SAVE:
did you not hear me?

GUY:
-what?

SAVE:
excuse me, i have to step inside my office



BLUE GUY:
Wow!
Talk about blatant disrespect!
Damaging company property, then backtalking and interrupting someone of actual importance!

DR. SAVE:
ok

GUY:
Such actions shall not go unopposed!



DR. SAVE:
and what are you going to do?



oh no.



OH NO!

(S) You were warned.

View this page in video form.



(mirrorpost 11 - pages 50 thru 60)