Tales from Sburbia - A Human Fan Session

[argentErudite]

Sorry, but we are using discord yeah.

[SinkingSailor]

i mean, we could just use some other means of communication when we want to speak in-character to kidpen's dude. It'd be cool if we could use pesterchum to speak in-character, would also make it easier on you (argent), unless someone here can't/doesn't want to use Pchum.

[argentErudite]

Yeah, it's a definite possibility. How would one send a file, as there are no still-functioning download pages?

[Kidpen]

Sorry, but we are using discord yeah.

Alright fair enough. If there happens to be an easy solution to the problem, let me know, but if not it's cool. Is everything going to be in Discord or are the large action posts going to be in this thread? Curious to see if I could still spectate.

[argentErudite]

OK, we'll be starting Friday. Anyone wants in, it needs to be before then.

[egg]

Yeah, it's a definite possibility. How would one send a file, as there are no still-functioning download pages?

Here.

[argentErudite]

Alright everyone, from here on out we're IC only. OOC in double brackets, like ((this)), and the first post goes up in a minute.

[argentErudite]

A young detective stands in his room. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, 2009... is just a normal day with nothing special happening whatsoever. EXCEPT for the fact that one of his sources has reported to him about the recent release of a game with "potential paranormal circumstances" that affect those who play it.
He has always had a name, because that's what happens when babies are born, you genius.

His name is LUKE BARCLAY. Currently, his bedroom is INCREDIBLY DISORGANIZED, but to be honest, it is most of the time, especially when he is in the middle of one of his many INVESTIGATIONS INTO THE PARANORMAL. A lot of GHOST-HUNTING PARAPHERNALIA can be seen scattered around the room: binoculars, field journals, old 19th century Victorian books about ghosts. His television is on, and the show THE X-FILES is airing, where his hero and icon FOX MULDER tries to solve all kinds of crazy shenanigans involving Monsters, Ghosts, Spirits and everything in between.

He's itching to contact his journalist chum in order to write an article about this discovery, but he does not seem to be active at the moment. Instead, he'll spread the news to The Other Guy. The Other Guy, being referred to this way because he is also interested in the Occult, as much as he tries to hide it.

-----

The Other Guy also has a name. COLE ACHESON, as it happens. He too sits in his room, but with several differences; It is METICULOUSLY CLEANED, with everything in it's rightful place. Two walls are covered entirely in FILLED BOOKSHELVES of nonfiction works; such a frivolous thing as make-believe has no place in an intelligent young man's room, certainly not in a LOCKED BOX under his bed. On a third wall hangs his collection of ASSORTED KNIVES and METALWORK TOOLS, safely in their glass case. His computer, whilst rather behind the times, may still use pesterchum, and as it happens that very app is in use; he is being contacted by one of the annoyances that HIS ONLY REAL FRIEND makes him talk to. What a bother.

-----

-- spectralConstable [SC] began pestering argentErudite [AE] --
SC: Dude. Are you there? I've just gotten the best lead in FOREVER.
AE: Yes, Luke. I am, as you have so intelligently surmised, present.
AE: What is this "lead" that you excite yourself over?
SC: This is seriously the best thing I've ever gotten since the Opole Incident, remember that? Oh my god, Cole, this is gonna blow your mind!
AE: I do believe that you promised a certain someone, though I shall name no names, that you would never mention Opole again. You wouldn't want me to tell them of this, would you?
SC: Oh, er... no. Yeah, agreed.
AE: Yes, that was a rather embarrassing incident for all involved. Those letters to the Polish government, I feel, could have been avoided, as could sending them through a friend.
AE: An indiscretion on your part.
SC: It's a part of the process! I've sent more letters to governments in recent months, I will admit that...
SC: Anyways. I've gotten word from one of my sources that a game was recently released with seems to have Paranormal Shenanigans, for a lack of a better term.
AE: Again, Jake? After last time? Please, tell me you at least didn't send them through her this time.
AE: And "Paranormal Shenanigans", as you so... elegantly put it?
AE: It sounds resoundingly uninteresting.
SC: Well... I haven't been, uh, able to confirm this information. Supposedly, the game seems to utilize a somewhat complex system of players and servers, mechanics that don't seem to exist anywhere else.
SC: But I haven't been able to confirm any of this.
SC: My other sources have not heard or seen anything about this "game"... would you even call it a game?
SC: In normal circumstances, I would be quick to dismiss this as bad info.
SC: But Cole.
SC: I have this feeling, man.
SC: I mean, Feeling.
SC: I just have this Feeling that... this is something huge. Something not even the great Fox Mulder could have ever dreamt about.
AE: I know little more about it than you've stated. Sami has been trying to convince me to play it since it's announcement, for some ungodly reason.
AE: Probably the same ungodly reason that you keep bringing up that hack you call an idol.
AE: The supernatural is the remit of myths, nothing more, and any sensible person discards myth.
SC: Cole, you silly goose! The Supernatural is the realm of truth, where all the Mysteries and Unexplained Shenanigans are fully understood, and explained.
SC: But it's not like this is the millionth time I've told you this... :p
AE: And, for the millionth time; I am uninterested.
SC: But the fact that you already know about this game only gives me more reason to believe in its Paranormal Shenanigans!
SC: Hehe. Shenanigans. Such a good word.
AE: It's been publicly announced, and Sami was the one who told me. Not much supernatural about that.
AE: Besides, "shenanigans" is so juvenile.
SC: It is the second greatest word in the dictionary, and you know it! :B
AE: False.
SC: Oh, Cole... you are the silliest of gooses. Maybe I ought to investigate the Case of the Silliest Goose of all Time someday. Truly a Mystery!
SC: Anyways, er... Off the Record here, but did Sami tell you where to obtain copies of this game?
AE: Honestly, I don't know why I bother sometimes.
AE: Besides, Sami herself has no copies yet. Mail order only, I'm afraid, though the ones she sent to me are apparently arriving today.
AE: I suppose your best bet would be Cane. He's always been somewhat prescient about these things.
AE: He might have sent you a copy without your knowledge.
SC: I guess you have a point. His abilities in the fine arts of Extrasensory Perception are truly Off the Charts. He just doesn't seem to buy it, though. At this point, you're my best bet when it comes to believing in my work!
AE: And rightly so. You yourself shouldn't put stock in this "paranormal". It's demeaning, and pure imagination besides.
SC: First, I think it would be in Drew's best interest to run an article on these findings. After all, the Truth must be spread! I'll tell him as soon as possible about this.
SC: I'll talk to you in a bit, my wonderful goose friend!
-- spectralConstable [SC] ceased pestering argentErudite [AE] --
AE: Please, do not call me that.
AE: Oh, he's gone.
-- argentErudite [AE] ceased pestering spectralConstable [SC] --

[SinkingSailor]

((so wait are we using pesterchum or discord for in character conversations? should i add every handle to pesterchum for RP purposes and then add everyone on discord for OOC convos? Or vice versa? Sorry for an only OOC post, I just need you to clarify so i dont fuck it up))

[argentErudite]

((We're using discord for convos, then I'm translating to pesterchum. For convos with those who don't have discord, I'll be the medium through pesterchum; me and the person w/o discord use pesterchum, and I copy-paste the discord to pesterchum and vice versa. Not efficient, but hey.))

[SinkingSailor]

((ah, alright. Do i need to add everyone or is there like a discord server i dont know about))

[argentErudite]

((Sorry, must have missed you in the invite wave. Sent now.))

[argentErudite]

A young girl stands in her room. Her name? It is an ELDRITCH CURSE which strikes fear into the PEASANT MASSES of slave-planets across the cosmos. It is NIVA LAYTON.

She has a HEALTHY INTEREST in the unhealthy. Her room is a FUNGAL VIVARIUM, overflowing with MUSHROOMS AND MOLDS. A minifridge houses many DEADLY PATHOGENS, collected from her Sis while she sleeps.

The bookshelf is overflowing with FANTASTICAL FLIGHTS OF FANCY, from the heroic to the macabre. She does not limit her fantastical interests to the written word, but also the PLASTIC MINIATURES common to the role-playing and wargaming arts. The blessings of PAPA NURGLE fester lovingly in her heart as an agent of chaos, and elven necromancers dance across her board.

But today she is going to be playing a different kind of game.

-----

A young troublemaker stands tall in his unsavory room. That young troublemaker is named PAUL TUDDLES. Various posters of sizes, shapes, and condition decorate the walls, displaying various types of interests, from SPORTS to ANIME. He has NO INTEREST in either. However, what gets sent down into his underground sewer home inevitably becomes apart of the growing collection of materials he and his TEACHER, MASTER LUNK, use to create toys. The less usable parts get thrown out or collected by him if they're interesting enough.

Today happens to be the day he does something INCREDIBLY STUPID, like many other days. Perhaps he will attempt to build and fire off a rocket made of wood scraps, winding up burning a hole into the carpet as he has so many times before. Today also happens to be April 13th, the day a new game gets released to the public. This game promises EXCITEMENT and ADVENTURE. Two words that ring a destructive bell in his brain.

As he prepares to grab a hammer and some used, bent-up nails, he receives a notification from the computer.

-----

-- fantasticallyInfectious [FI] began pestering rowdyRoughhouser [RR] --
FI: hows it going in the hole
RR: Its great as always
RR: Hows it doin not in the hole?
FI: its absolutely toxic
FI: as it should be
RR: Sick
RR: pun intended
RR: So whats up?
FI: some new babies just fruited
FI: do you think fungi can play videogames
RR: fungi can play games??? Yo thats FUCKIN awesome
FI: myconids can play videogames
FI: they got nubby fungal phlanges
RR: dunno what the FUCK a phlange is but if those little dudes can play tony hawk or some SHIT then thats cool
FI: my fantastical spore carriers perform only the sickest of flips
RR: siiick
RR: speakin of games isnt that one dropping today? sbib or sboob or something
FI: i think its sprop
FI: i look forwarding to sproping with my sprouts
RR: i cant wait to play it. dunno what its about but i cant wait to play it.
FI: im pretty sure its one of those management games
FI: like rollercoaster tycoon
FI: but for urban development or something
FI: have you even seen a house before
FI: or is it all dank fecal discharge caverns
RR: Ive seen houses some
RR: Me and the boys go down to Papa Louianos for poker
FI: i only know of one big papa unfortunately
RR: i cant tell ya about papa louiano, just know that his capos are FUCKIN cheatin card sharks
FI: are you sure you dont just hold your hand weird
FI: you seem like the kind of guy who shows his hand
RR: i know how to play poker niva
RR: im not that stupid. so stupid to show my hand to someone while i got a full house
FI: methinks the loser doth protest too much
RR: nah trust me on this those capos cheat. countin cards or some SHIT
RR: otherwise id just be terrible at the game. what kinda gangster cant play poker???
FI: one who lives in a sewer apparently
RR: wow ok i feel so attacked right now
RR: just you watch niva, if we ever play poker ill be the winner. the winner winner with a chicken or however it goes
FI: oh no was that too mean
FI: im trying to be less mean
RR: nah youre good
RR: anyone who raises mushrooms and diseases cant be mean
RR: otherwise they would use those as weapons and cause massive damage
FI: shush this is not a secure channel
RR: oh SHIT whos readin
FI: probably obama
FI: im pretty sure the president does all the national surveillance personally
RR: yeah. has eyes all over the world. except underground. thats why me and master Lunk live in a sewer. harder to spy on us. or somethin
FI: yeah that setup seems pretty secure
FI: only real threat i could see would be a massive airborn impact aimed directly at your location
FI: like a meteor or a missile
RR: ok but why would either of those be aimed at my sewer
RR: unless aliens were attacking or
RR: russians
FI: what about russian aliens
RR: what would that be like? would they probe people with vodka bottles? ill have to ask SC about it
FI: soviets from beyond the abyss is a terrifying possibility in an infinite multiverse
FI: truly we live in a chaotic world
RR: cheers to that
FI: well its time to refresh the medium for my polio
FI: au revoir
RR: see ya
-- fantasticallyInfectious [FI] ceased pestering rowdyRoughhouser [RR] --

[argentErudite]

A young man stands in his bedroom on this fine day. This man's name is JACOB HANSEN. He doesn't have many INTERESTS but he is obsessed with the idea of MAGIC. His UNCLE has been trying to get him into other things and buys him a lot of RANDOM OBJECTS. It is for this reason that his room is a mess, or maybe that's just because he is LAZY. Either way, navigating through the mess of STUFFED CHARACTERS, FALLEN POSTERS and ASSORTED SPORTSBALLS is a hell in and of itself. Currently he is looking at a webcomic called THE MIDNIGHT CREW. And now he is bored. So instead, he decides to start browsing PESTERCHUM to see if any of his friends are online and willing to be pestered.

-----

=> Be the Sami Girl!

You cannot be Sami at this moment, because she's in school right now! Maybe try later with a little more of Luck!

=> Insist on wanting to be the Girl!

Sheesh fine, don't be so hasty! You can be her right now at this exact moment sooner than expected. . .

A young lass with black hair, currently wearing an amber jacket alongside some jeans appears to be sitting on a classroom with a bit of a dull look on her face. She presses her hand against her cheek whilst her elbow rests on the table... as she listens to her math teacher ramble on about some things.

Her name is SAMI KATELYN, although she prefers to be called SAMANTHA by anyone she knows. As it was previously mentioned, she's in the middle of a class, currently dying of boredom. She has a decent range of interests, having partaken in an interest in STUDYING ALCHEMY ON HER OWN with her little personal makeshift lab. She absolutely enjoys SPENDING SOME TIME WITH HER FRIENDS and sometimes she can't help but FLIRT with some of them. She doesn't have a keen eye on videogames, but she'll play it if others insist because she is just THAT NICE OF A PERSON. She is going to zone out from her class a bit since she has good grades anyway.

=> Sami: Pester someone stealthily.

She sneaks a peek at her phone and opens up PESTERCHUM. Thankfully she isn't in front of the class, so being spotted is harder and her teacher is juggling between the class and life stuff. She notices that Cole is on, but she won't bother him about the game yet. Yet she notes that one of her friends is on, and that she should humor him today. If at least for some moments.

-----

-- alchemicalShadows [AS] began pestering fauxGene [FG] --
AS: hey! good morning!
FG: hello
FG: i honestly don't have any conversation topics planned.
FG: so I hope you do.
AS: sorry for suddenly barging in and, yes I do have some things I'd like to talk about
FG: honestly
FG: the best thing i can think of is that new game
AS: right that game
FG: oh
AS: I know its a fancy kind of game
AS: my sister said its roleplaying with dungeons and stuff
FG: Hu
FG: you don't usealy care about games
FG: so i don't see what is so intresting about this one
FG: i mean
FG: SBURB
FG: kinda a dumb name
AS: yeah I can see why
AS: it is a bit silly, but this one is online and I figured out "what would be a good way to spend some time with my friends"!
FG: I mean it says nothing about what the game is like
FG: and don't even get me started on the cover art
FG: But i suppose your right
FG: with the whole "getting together" thing
AS: yup! I'm ecstatic about it personally so I sent my copy to AE!
FG: that guy?
FG: well probably have to lead him on with a stick if we want him to play
AS: I wouldn't dream of leaving him out of the fun anyway
AS: he'll play eventually and I put my trust on him
FG: i suppose you'll figure out a way
AS: what about you anyway, you were going to get a copy too right?
FG: i didn't ask for it but knowing my uncle he probably allredy ordered it
FG: so that's a thing
FG: but the real problem with AE and the game will be stopping the other players from ripping him a new one
FG: he is such an asshole
AS: I don't know about that, he's just fine to me and. like I said before I'm going to look out for him.
AS: he probably just needs a bit of time to warm up to everyone! kind of like how much it takes for a metal to melt under intense heat!
AS: but I can promise you all that if he goes out of line I'll step in.
FG: at least theirs that
FG: honestly your like rainbow colored/chocolate flavored unicorn barf
FG: and I mean that in the best way possible
AS: aw! thanks! you're such a sweetheart sometimes!
FG: your a endless fountain of positivity and good shit like that
FG: Bit enough mushy stuff
FG: When do you think we'll actualy get the game?
AS: if everything goes well, enough we could all start today!
AS: assuming nobody left the task at last moment
FG: but nothing ever gose perfectly
FG: some wierd shenanigans will probably end up happening
FG: or the game will just suck
FG: but don't let me rain on your parade
FG: if you really want to do it lets do it
AS: of course! even if it sucks i'll help make it a good experience for us!
FG: i suppose
FG: so what do you think the game is about anyways?
AS: hmmmmm i think it'll be about slaying monsters and being heroes?
AS: that's just a wild guess i have heard some classmates will play it, too but they're just as clueless, as me on how the entirety of the game is about
AS: maybe itll take place in some huge hub city! thats why its called sburb
FG: I think it's some Sims clone shit
FG: and that's why it's box art is a house
FG: or Maby a Minecraft clone
FG: and that's why the house is so blocky
AS: that'd be better! bet you we'd build all tons of stuff
AS: but either way we know too little aside from the box art
AS: and sister said its a bit hasty. just a few months since it was announced and its already supposed to be released this month
FG: wow
FG: so my assumptions about it being shity or glitchy are even more likely to be true
AS: I say and I quote my sister
AS: "this shits tighter than miyamoto's private island resorts where he keeps all his future projects stashed"
FG: you sister sounds kinda like a NEET desu
FG: but that's just my two cents
FG: so anyway disregarding the game for a sec
FG: how are you doing
AS: good i'm just soooooooooo freaking bored
FG: me to
FG: Maby we could play something in this chatrom
FG: or we could discuss things
FG: you know that "midnight crew" comic
AS: I'm down for anything honey
FG: cool cool
FG: becuse I'm kinda into it right now
AS: and yes. my father has urged me to follow it, but honestly?
AS: prefer problem sleuth better, maybe this one will be just as good.
FG: I mean PS was good to don't get me wrong
FG: but MS is basicly PSes dark and edgy cousin
FG: and it's prity intresting
FG: i mean
FG: yesterday my uncle was talking to me
FG: and i zoned out
FG: and i thought up of a whole theory on LE
FG: and he hasn't even appeared in the comic yet
FG: And don't get me started on Spades apparent son
FG: i wonder what happened to him
AS: maybe he'll come back like bathearst
FG: maby
AS: or maybe in a plot twist what if he's LE and he's leading the gang against his father
FG: that would be interesting
FG: it makes sence
FG: with the way he talks about him it seems Spades wasn't the best father
FG: but i don't think that's the case
FG: I think their will be a dramatic moment where the son saves spades
FG: like Maby from clover
FG: becuse so far he has been nigh untouchable
FG: and it would be cool if spades son took him down in his dramatic reveal
FG: and then Maby he will slap spades
FG: because that man needs a good slap
AS: I think it'll be more of a punch if anything
AS: like father and like son they do things in a tough way
AS: I just hope hearts boxcars and clubs deuce are alright if something goes awry
FG: yesss CD is so cute
AS: I know right? hes too silly!
FG: he is the cheese on top of the rest of the crews chili
FG: but besides LE and spades maby son Snowman is defently the most interesting
FG: i mean most of the felt is green
FG: but snowman is black?
FG: oh god
FG: I just realized how rasist that sounds
AS: i mean eight balls are usually of that color
FG: yes but saying "oh it's becuse she is the 8 ball" is kinda a cop out
AS: maybe according to swordkindsunglasses shes going to die last? idk his theories are sooo insane
FG: and then Hussies gona pull some shit like "killing snowman kills the universe"
FG: or something equally BS
AS: I wouldn't rule it out, just look at the ammount of bullshit in the final boss battle in ps
FG: makes sence
FG: honestly i'm just hopeing for a return of the CODPIECE
FG: that shit was dope
FG: Yeah!
AS: oh my class is almost running out of time. it's a miracle the teacher didn't spot me
FG: oh
FG: wow
AS: time sure flies when we talk, I guess!
FG: are you a ninja or something
FG: I'm impressed
AS: maaaaaybe ;P
FG: but anyways I'll let you get to your bissnus
AS: I'll catch up with you later!
AS: <3
FG: by
-- alchemicalShadows [AS] ceased pestering fauxGene [FG] --

[argentErudite]

A young NOVICE JOURNALIST stands in his room. Today is the day he's been hoping, and writing for too. The day of SBURB's release is finally upon him! His name is DREW LESTAM and he can't wait for the discussions it will bring to his
INTERNET BLOG.

While he has begun his venture in the BLOGGING BUSINESS not too long ago, his site has already been gaining some amount of traffic, mostly through his highly sophisticated advertisement method of ROLLERSKATING THROUGH THE CITY while pasting posters and shouting through his MEGAPHONE.

Scattered through his apartment lie multiple artifacts, such as his LIGHTWEIGHT LAPTOP which is used to update his blog, PLAYSTATION 2 occasionally used to relieve some stress, and SPARE SKATING GEAR in case his current loadout gets dirty or otherwise undesirable to wear for the day.

Just coming home after a long day of BEING OUT AND ABOUT, Drew checks his laptop and sees a notification pop up.

-----

-- spectralConstable [SC] began pestering radioactiveSunset [RS] --
SC: Drew, you're going to LOVE this.
SC: I really mean it this time!
SC: This is going to blow your little journalistic mind.
RS: Go right ahead then Im all ears for some new tidbits on the latest happenings
SC: Just heard from one of my sources about this game, right?
SC: It supposedly has some Paranormal Shenanigans that affect those who play it.
SC: I haven't been able to confirm much, but it supposedly has a player-server system, but with multiple variables instead of one?
SC: Which is something nobody has ever seen before, ever!
SC: Real cutting-edge stuff I hear.
RS: Yeah youre talking about SBURB right?
RS: Ive been posting a lot about it lately because a lot of people seem to be into it and frankly I cant wait to try it out myself
RS: although I do worry about my laptop not being able to run it if its so cutting edge as you say it is
RS: but hearing about Paranormal Shenanigans does really pique my interests can you maybe tell me some more about that stuff?
SC: Uh, so... right. Here's the thing.
SC: I, er... haven't been able to find any info about that. I tried asking my other usual sources, but zero. Zilch. Nada!
SC: I also tried finding other players of the game, but nothing. At least, not yet. I mean, there surely should have been at the very least a GameFAQs thread, right?
SC: In other circumstances, I would just scrap all of these findings and go research something else.
SC: But I was talking to AE, and I realized something.
SC: I feel... differently towards this.
SC: I mean... it's not the same feeling I had with Opole, you remember that?
RS: Yeah that sure turned out to be something but I kind of get what youre saying here
RS: because for all of the discussion going on it seems to be mostly to only from people who have not actually played the game yet
RS: which strikes me as very odd seeing as this absence of players should not be something to exist after such a period of extended hype building up to the games release
RS: Are you planning on investigating this in more detail
RS: because I think we might be onto something really good right here
SC: Definitely. But not in the way we're used to.
SC: I see no other alternative, Drew...
SC: We have to play this game.
RS: To be honest that prospect seems dangerous yet very exciting
RS: because if it does indeed possess Paranormal Shenanigans then what would that spell for our safeties
RS: although again Ive kind of been waiting for something that can really spice things up for my blog seeing as nobody else really seems to be talking in depth about the mysterious gameplay of this mysterious game
RS: so Id be inclined to say I would like to play the game with you but have you been able to secure copies of the game
RS: because Ive come to known that it is in too high demand right now for reliable deliveries preorders or other means to get this game
SC: Hehe. You're capitalizing Paranormal stuff like I do.
SC: I think it's the best thing we can do, in order to properly understand what the game is about.
SC: You have to keep in mind that if this is real, and really does what it says on the tin, it's one of the most concrete evidences of human-created things that is able to play with reality, and flip it Upside Down as we know it.
SC: And my god, would your blog explode if we were the first ones to cover it.
SC: I would be the new Greatest Ghost Detective in the World, and you would be the, uh... what's the name of a really good journalist?
SC: Charles Barkley. You'd be the new Charles Barkley! :D
SC: And sadly, no, I haven't been able to secure copies of the game yet. I was wondering if you'd be able to look for some, considering you're always on top of everything!
RS: Yes I would like to be the new Charles Barkley to be completely honest with you
RS: And as for securing copies Id have to check around if the game store downtown has some coming in for today
RS: because this day of the week and at around this time of the day they most often replenish their stocks in the hippest and hottest games around
RS: although I kind of doubt they will get much but hey maybe Ill get lucky today
SC: I mean, it seems like this game has gotten the attention of everyone. Maybe it'll take a day or two, most likely.
SC: Actually, could you do me a favor?
SC: Could you go down there, and uh... sleuth a bit for me? Maybe ask around if people know about the publisher of this game, their previous work, what's on the box for the game...
SC: Just, anything you can.
RS: I think that sounds like a good plan
RS: Ill just skate down there ask if they have some copies lying around and then pry a bit further into the matter such as who they got the games from
RS: and if they have any personal experience and such
RS: Any other interesting factoids I should go after before I go on my way and pester them a bit with some inquiries about the game?
SC: AE is a silly goose. Could you tell him that the next time you talk to him?
RS: I will be sure to deliver this statement directly to the virtual doorstep of AE next time I speak to him
RS: and for now Ill be off skating to the store so I will speak to you later alright?
SC: Alrighty. See you later!
RS: Goodbye
RS: see you later when I have more information about the game or at least I hope to!
-- radioactiveSunset [RS] ceased pestering spectralConstable [SC] --

[sigmatic]

You have made your decision: it's time to get your move on. You put on your skating gear and headphones and take the elevator down to the first floor of the apartment building. One day you'll be able to perform the legendary 20-X-FLOORRAILGRINDCOMBO from the top of the building all the way down the flight of stairs but for now you'll have to focus on not eating concrete after stumbling from the stairs.

It's sunny today. The city is busy as always, and you skate down the street to visit the local game store. SBURB is an elusive game but mystery won't stop you today. Maybe you'll get lucky and they have one left over or something. As you ponder about the potential near future of GAMING you step into the store and walk up to the counter.

CLERK: yo how can i help you
DREW: Hello there I happened upon the store by chance today and was wondering if there are any recent games you could recommend me today seeing as I got some time and money to spare to buy and enjoy a videogame on this good day
CLERK: uhh sure, what are you looking for
DREW: Are there per chance any games that are shrouded in mystery if that makes any sense because I am really in the mood for something where I can discover secrets of any kind
CLERK: well you might like professor layton for the ds, a game filled with puzzles, or maybe persona 4 for the ps2 where you need to unmask a serial killer in a sleepy town
DREW: Ah yes Ive certainly enjoyed that one but I was wondering if you got a REALLY recent one for the PC preferably one I could play with my friends
CLERK: hmm
CLERK: are you talking about sburb
DREW: If I were to be talking about SBURB what more could you tell me about this game because Ive come to know that not a lot of people have played this game even though it has been released for a bit

The clerk sighs. He walks to the back and returns not too long after with a box and a magazine.

CLERK: look i don't know much about the game itself, this is what's left of the shipment we received after getting all of the preorders out

He opens the box and reveals a single copy of SBURB.

DREW: And what would I have to do to get my hands on this famous yet unknown game?
CLERK: pay us sixty bucks
CLERK: it's just a game man
DREW: So you dont suppose there is anything suspicious about the lack of information on the gameplay of one of the most anticipated games of the year?

The clerk seems to think for a moment, and then tells you:

CLERK: i dunno man i guess gaming journalism kinda sucks
CLERK: you want the game or not
DREW: Ill just take your opinion on journalism in stride and say that yes I would like the last copy of SBURB you have

You get out your wallet and prepare to pay for the game.

CLERK: do you have a membership with us
DREW: I dont have one because it didnt really strike me as something I would want
CLERK: you can save up points to get games for less
DREW: Like I said I dont really want one because I only occasionally buy games here so its not really worth the hassle in my opinion
CLERK: you get 10% off a purchase after having bought 20 games at our store
DREW: In all honesty that sounds like a rough deal to me I dont really see any added value to getting the membership right now
CLERK: do you at least want this copy of gamebro with your purchase
CLERK: look, it's got your game on the cover
CLERK: two bucks extra
CLERK: i need to fill my quota man
DREW: …
DREW: Yes please I would like to buy the GameBro for two extra bucks
CLERK: thank fucking god

With your brand new game in hand you step outside of the store. If you're completely honest with yourself the magazine you just bought looks kinda shitty but hey, if it's talking SBURB then you're all ears. You look up to the sky. It has an orange tint. That strikes you as weird at this time of the day but it also compliments your aesthetic so you really shouldn't complain.

You turn the music up again and start skating back to your apartment while you get that last bit of advertisement in with your megaphone. You're planning on playing the game for the coming time so you can write some sick articles on it and in turn get a lot more traffic on your blog, so you aren't really sure how long it will take until you can go out and speed through the city again. As you take one last look into the city before opening the door to the apartment, you experience something simple yet strong.

You have a feeling it's going to be a long gaming session.

[VASKA]

==> Niva Layton

You go about your business in your room, lightly misting your moister fungi (why hello there, black mold!) and taking samples of bacterial medium. Your fridge is a kaleidiscope of various liquids in test tubes and petri dishes. You have a sample of the Taiwanese Bush Fever (a rare pathogen with some worrying symptoms) in your hand when a loud crash, followed by a scream, break your concentration and force you to drop your sample.

NIVA: fuck

You suppose you'd better go check on that. You're sure the potent, viable airborne bacterial culture you've released in your apartment won't amount to anything significant.

[BrobyDDark]

==> Be the sewer boy

You are now the sewer boy, PAUL TUDDLES. You have finished a conversation with a friend of yours and are now able to turn your attention to doing something stupid. Grabbing a hammer and nails, you head out to retrieve wood scraps from the materials pile.

As you are retrieving wood scraps, you hear a crash, a bash, perhaps even a smash. Someone is breaking through some fortifications. Mobsters.

Getting all giddy, you ready your preferred weapon of choice- a pair of slightly rusted brass knuckles. Or, at least, you would prepare them if you weren't missing the other one.

PAUL: FUCK whered it go

Quickly, you check your fetch modus and notice your brass knuckles tucked deep within a pile of trash you have saved up. Rolling your eyes, you activate the SCRATCH MODUS, which generates a card. You begin to run, hoping to make it towards the action as you scratch off the weird glinty stuff covering each picture on your card.

Old doll head.... Old doll head...

PAUL: FUCK dont do this

Old doll head...

PAUL: i swear to god do not

Old... Magazine.

Sighing in relief, a doll's head and a magazine rocket out of your fetch modus before you generate one more card, grateful you don't have to pick everything in your modus off the fucking ground.

This time, the result is much more favorable, granting you your second knuckle and several pieces of gum.

Turning a corner, you reach Fortification A-4, where you see several STRANGE MEN in FEDORAS and TRENCHCOATS attempting to force their way in. Releasing a primal scream, you rush to defend your home.

[argentErudite]

A young man stands in his room, wondering about useless things like "if grilled cheese is called grilled cheese, why is it usually not grilled at all?" and, "Altone sounds sort of like Al Capone's name combined into one name." His name is DELL ALTONE. He enjoys the MACABRE, playing VIDEO GAMES, and adores a show, which is a sort of guilty pleasure, that being MY LITTLE PONY.

Figurines line his shelves, of MLP or of other things, such as SONIC THE HEDGEHOG and SUPER MARIO BROTHERS. Many cool, although many fake, weapons are strewn about his room. He uses HAMMERKIND though, battering things with a giant and/or heavy death object is fun.

Today, he will be playing a game with a few friends of his that his sister ordered for him through the mail. She just kind of... did this for him. Probably to get him to talk more to people. He supposes it's working. Either way, he has someone he'd like to speak to at the moment, so he should probably stop his rambling and actually do that.

-----

-- monotonousConformity [MC] began pestering fantasticallyInfectious [FI] --
MC: heyo
FI: what is the up
MC: im bored right now and the internet's being especially un-invigorating today so i'd like to actually chat with someone for once
MC: and also i have a question
MC: that part's important
FI: i probably have an answer then
FI: but also maybe not
FI: i guess i should wait to hear the question
MC: alright, so
MC: you know the game we're getting and also might be playing if incredibly stupid bullshit doesn't happen
FI: i am aware of a certain game
MC: do you know about this game, i think it was SBURB, anymore than that it's multiplayer?
MC: that's all i've really gotten to know so far and my sister is either refusing to spill the beans or she doesn't know and is fucking with me and acting like she's keeping info from me
FI: as far as i know its a roller coaster tycoon type game
FI: but with houses and cities and all that good juice
MC: oh sick, sounds like some sort of collaborative effort to make a big ol' community
MC: fuck it, maybe even a society
FI: yeah basically
FI: i think maybe you can also play in first person mode
FI: i dont know the mechanics seem really weird
MC: huh
MC: would first person mode be like
FI: moving around the houses i guess
MC: i was thinking that like
MC: you become the chairman of the entire fuckin' WORLD and your building a city among the hundreds you've already laid down on a tv screen
MC: cuz of course YOUR not gonna show up in person, you've got like... paperwork and shit to tend to idfk
FI: oh man that would be rad as fuck
FI: like a chessmaster situation
FI: manipulated the masses
FI: a political god
FI: a force of chaos in world you control
FI: untouchable
MC: that would be the coolest fuckin game
MC: look out mario, you've got nothing on this shit
MC: except for fun platforming, interesting mechanics, and simple character designs
MC: ok maybe different strokes for different folks
FI: ive always been more theatre of the mind
FI: but i can appreciate simple game aesthetics
MC: aesthetics are important
MC: if ya game looks like shit, people will assume it's shit most times
FI: hang on i think someone just got murdered upstairs
FI: also theres pathogen in my carpet
FI: basically shit got real recently
FI: i should take care of those things probably
MC: i hate it when people get killed in the upper regions of my living space
FI: ugh yeah its a nuisance
FI: anyway bye
-- fantasticallyInfectious [FI] ceased pestering monotonousConformity [MC] --
MC: adios, toreador
-- monotonousConformity [MC] ceased pestering fantasticallyInfectious [FI] --

[MP the OP OG]

==> Be Jacob
You are now Jacob. You are currently sitting in your room and letting your mind wander.
==> Car: Pull up.
You hear the sound of a car pulling up into the driveway. You figure it must be your uncle coming home. You better go out to greet him before he comes in here to greet you and tell you to clean your room once more.
==> Admire your house as you go to greet your uncle.
There isn't really much to admire. It's a pretty standard middle class house. The floors are hardwood and the walls are painted burgundy. And that's really all there is to say on the matter. It's not like your uncle has a bunch of football jerseys and autographs of players all over the damn place, no, you're walking down a completely unremarkable hallway to a completely unremarkable living room.
==> Mourn the inevitable loss of your toilet.
As you walk by the door to your bathroom you get the feeling that your toilet is going to be destroyed soon. So you do the only sensible thing in this situation. You pray that your toilet goes to toilet heaven.
==> Stop this silliness and go greet your loving uncle.
You think praying for your toilet was not silly and that it was very important. But regardless, you go out into the living room. As you enter the room, your uncle pulls you into a hug. He gives you the copy of SBURB he ordered for you and tells you that he has to leave again soon, giving you some money to order food with. You thank him and turn back to walk back to your room, but before you can walk back into the hallway your uncle steps in front of you and gives you another hug.