Favorite HS quotes?

[MatthewHMay]

What're y'all's favorite quotes for Homestuck?
Mine's this classic from page 1099: "Dave. Answer."

TG: we're motherfuckin entrenched in this bitch
TG: you and me
TG: welcome to nam

[RoyalFiddle]

TG: well shit
TG: thats a hell of a mystery no one thought was a mystery and didnt even really need solving
TG: but damn if it didnt just get solved so nice work

[Generalrabogolfo]

TEREZI: R3M3MB3R LONGC4T J4N3?

[hamifihekrix]

a classic
TG: oh man
TG: how big is it
TG: like the size of texas
TG: or just rhode island
TG: theyre always throwing around these geographical comparisons to give us a sense of scale like it really means anything to us
TG: but its like it doesnt matter its always just like: WOW THATS PRETTY FUCKING BIG
TG: like mr president theres a meteor coming sir. oh yeah, how big is it? its the size of texas sir
TG: OH SHIT
TG: or, how big is it? its the size of new york city sir
TG: OH SHIT
TG: sir im afraid the comet is the size of your moms dick
TG: OH SNAP
TG: sir are you familiar with jupiter
TG: you mean like the planet?
TG: yeah
TG: well its that big sir
TG: hmm that sounds pretty big
TG: i have a question
TG: is it jupiter?
TG: yes sir, earth is literally under seige by planet fucking jupiter
TG: OH SHIT
TG: anyway later

[Sokota]

KARKAT: STAND BY. I'M PUTTING YOU ON SPEAKER CRAB.
DAVE: speaker crab
KARKAT: YES. SPEAKER CRAB.
DAVE: man dont put me on speaker crab

[sorbicCondition]

CEB: what is so different about your romance?
CEB: what's a quadrant? how many do you have?
CTG: john god dammit stop embarrassing us
CTG: first of all weve got to be on record here as not giving a shit about that
CTG: second obviously theres gonna be 4 quadrants come on

[vanico]

CA: kan its hard
GA: What
CA: being a kid and growwing up
CA: its hard and nobody understands

[calamityCons]

01258.gif (95.34 KiB) Viewed 18220 times

Everybody out of the god damn way. You got a hat full of bomb, a fist full of penis, and a head full of empty.

[nocturneforest]

TG: how old are you
GC: 6
TG: goddamn
TG: ok now youre messing with me arent you you arent 6
GC: NO 1TS TRU3!
TG: whatever thats bullshit
TG: ok fuck it
TG: just dont tell your parents
GC: WH4T 4R3 P4R3NTS
TG: thats just about the saddest thing i ever heard get said

[ZyhpenNoodles]

TG: im your 300 pound matronly freight-train
TG: and my gaping furnace is hungry for coal so get goddamn shoveling

From: https://www.homestuck.com/story/1099

[Paravellex]

It still keeps happening.

You come to the sobering realization that things will never stop from keep happening constantly.

And you can't take it anymore.

[seerofheart]

TG: skepticism is the crutch of cinematic troglodytes

[rookie1978]

You got a hat full of bomb, a fist full of penis, and a head full of empty.

came here to post this

[Daz]

EB: you can see me, right.
EB: tell me what is wrong with this picture.

[egg]

TG: how old are you
GC: 6
TG: goddamn
TG: ok now youre messing with me arent you you arent 6
GC: NO 1TS TRU3!
TG: whatever thats bullshit
TG: ok fuck it
TG: just dont tell your parents
GC: WH4T 4R3 P4R3NTS
TG: thats just about the saddest thing i ever heard get said

This is MY favorite quote, but since I don't want to repost, from the same conversation,


And for a serious example,

[arachnidsGrip]

TEREZI: GOOD LUCK, 3GB3RT >:]
TEREZI: NOT TH4T YOU'LL N33D 1T
JOHN: why not?
TEREZI: B3C4US3 W3 M4K3 OUR OWN LUCK
TEREZI: 4ND YOU'R3 4BOUT TO PROV3 TH4T

From this panel.

[Hy]

TT: Plus, I have other sources.
TT: One in particular has been quite illuminating.
TG: what
TT: I've been referring to him as an informant, when people ask.
TT: Which isn't often.
TG: what you mean a troll
TT: No.
TT: It's a man who exists in another universe.
TT: He wants to die.
TG: sounds like a really credible dude sign me up trusting everything he says

[[[[ven]

TT: I am scared to not exist.
TT: Aren't you?

[qzvk]

favorite funny one is dave + davesprite's whole conversation from page 1861
DAVE: so it was pretty funny how i made a copy of roses evil book right before she burned it and now she doesnt know about it
DAVESPRITE: i know its crazy what kind of foresight this guy has
DAVESPRITE: im telling you coincidences like that are unreal they dont even happen
DAVESPRITE: most of the time
DAVE: the best thing about how i did that is how it in no way will ever come back to bite us in the ass ever
DAVESPRITE: dude our shit is SAFE
DAVE: so safe
DAVESPRITE: gonna sleep pretty sound tonight
DAVESPRITE: with that big fucking payload of safety you just got dropped on us
DAVESPRITE: gonna be all huggin my pillow and shit
DAVESPRITE: grinning like a goddamn bear full of honey
DAVE: safer than some flintstone vitamins in a bottle
DAVE: keep twisting junior all you get is clicks
DAVESPRITE: asshole thinks its candy
DAVESPRITE: doesnt even know he just stepped on a security rake and got a face full of fucking safety
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: anyway guess ill go back down and burn that book
DAVESPRITE: alright

but vriska's monologue from page 6053 is the best (which i won't post cause its so long, but its here: https://www.homestuck.com/story/6053)
also the panels are SO cool

[wolfkitty42]

Your name is ROXY.

God DAMN do you love WIZARDS.

best quote ever, honestly and I use it to describe my interests lots :3