Homestuck.XYZ 2.0

Let's have a thread for the shining gem of Act 6, the true, underappreciated hero of Homestuck.

How do we not have a Caliborn emote here?

I DEMAND WE GET ONE FOR HIM IN HIS HONOuR!!!

An artistic genius. The most revolutionary man in the history of art. His art has impacted trillions, if not billions, of people in all corners of Paradox Space.

What else is there to say?

I wonder what level his art would be at as an adult.

The only reason I kept through act 6. Our absolute lord. I love this man.

Caliborn is inspiring. He is, probably, the MOST inspiring character in Homestuck.

Think about it! Caliborn in a vacuum could not have survived naturally. His sister would have eventually dominated him and he would have died while she assert herself to full identity. He's not as traditionally intelligent as Calliope is. He has no allies or true friends growing up. His sister he is pitted against by nature itself, where they cannot coexist and one inevitably has to kill the other. This is hard-wired into him as a Cherub, as is his aggressive and unpleasant nature thanks to his father sharing the same proclivities. Yet despite all these handicaps Caliborn RISES against any challenge and bullheadedly pushes himself onward no matter the resistance placed to push back!

Caliborn becomes a clever little sneak, not so much using full on brainpower to accomplish something but by exploiting loopholes and expectations for rules that are never established to him. This is exemplified in his and Calliope's chess match! He 'cheats' to win, because if he played fair he would lose. This is, of course, just a game. However, in nature animals often play 'games' to practice for the real thing. Caliborn himself was practicing something that would come through for him later on: manipulating the lack of rule to establish his own in his favor.

He teaches himself how to draw and makes fanwork of a story he hates and wants to have his own fun with: Homestuck. He gets his ass kicked for what is ostensibly a harmless hobby by a teenager in blue pajamas.

He, when placed in an IMPOSSIBLE session in a broken game of Sburb, claws his way to victory and becomes an ultimate being!

And, finally, when the teenager decides to come back and beat him up again he tricks the shit out of them and locks him and his three friends into a box for a bazillion years. Even when suffering defeat from the other four coming along, he still manages to persist in existence within the soul of a puppet all to ensure he will eventually come to be and kick his sister's sanctimonious ass all over again. It's really incredible the shit this angry little shit goes through.

Caliborn is easily one of my favorite characters in Homestuck, probably even the best. I love him. He's such a child, such an asshole, and yet he somehow comes out on top. He learns things the hard way, by doing the only thing he knows: brute force. He is not a thinker, he is a doer, and the world is his oyster. He is not a role model by any means, but he is fucking hilarious, and every line he utters in the comic is pure gold.

I honestly think with Caliborn's passion, he could've been turned around into a 'good guy', and I think the only way he turned out the way he did is outside influences like Gamzee and Hussie themselves, alongside his only childhood friend being a paragon of nice-ness and virtue. Being faced with the same thing every day would naturally lead someone to hate it and it's no surprise Caliborn tried to become an anti-thesis to everything his sister stood for. I mean, of course, it could all just be the nature of Cherub's and how they really don't have a choice of what they end up becoming- a malevolent and benevolent pair.

Just look at this poor boy's face.

You can't tell me the only feeling he's ever felt is hatred- there's obviously something deeper there, and I think Caliborn had the potential to be a 'good guy' if he took the time to delve into his inner feelings or if someone else could've introduced him to the idea of self-reflection or introspection. And, of course, if there wasn't all this Sburb timeline bullshittery ensuring that he HAD to become Lord English, because he already was, or whatever the stupid honky foo-foo explanation was.

Despite his over-the-top evil and 'problematic' language choices (such as, calling every female a whore or bitch) he's probably the most entertaining Homestuck bad guy and my favorite Homestuck character.. nearly out of everybody. Definite top 3. Despite his potential to avoid it, his over the top evil behavior is actually one of my favorite parts about him- he's 100% all about himself, and he doesn't give a FUCK about anything in his way because he's gonna tear through it regardless. His amazing amount of determination and drive to accomplish whatever the fuck his goals are (from murder to drawing yaoi) make him such a fun character to watch. Even after getting the shit beaten out of him by John BECAUSE of his art, he still goes on to make his own claymation of a key point in his life, the highest amount of artistic integrity we've seen from him. He lets absolutely NOTHING get away from him and is not beyond gnawing off his own fucking leg just to move forward.

I've honestly gotten tired of people shaming others for liking Caliborn. He's an amazing villain, and nobody gives two shits about who he is past his surface level meme tier personality of "KILL KILL KILL WHORE WHORE WHORE" (even if that's still pretty fun.) He's a planner, and the breaks on his train literally do not ever stop because they never existed in the first place, even until his eventual death, where he was sent off while dragging down the comic's de facto 'hero' or protagonist (John) down with him because of the stupid-ass 11th hour superpower duex ex machina of 'cherub poison' which was, of course, never mentioned or talked about in the comic, because continuity in homestuck is a joke to the author and fans alike despite their attempts to explain it.

"YOUR DEATH. WILL BE YOUR SINGLE GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT."

I leave you with a video that I watch nearly daily that showcases a lot of what makes Caliborn so great.
I also want to mention that Lord English's fight was never resolved in Conflict and was part of a 'set' of other fights in the first place instead of it's own battle, which is possibly the single most disappointing thing Homestuck gave us.

Darth_Energon wrote: ↑

Tue Nov 12, 2019 6:53 pm

I wonder what level his art would be at as an adult.

it's called Homestuck

sigmatic wrote: ↑

Wed Nov 13, 2019 12:50 pm

Darth_Energon wrote: ↑

Tue Nov 12, 2019 6:53 pm

I wonder what level his art would be at as an adult.

it's called Homestuck

my emotions on caliborn can be summed up as :rancorous:

Nobody told me there was a caliborn thread? Outrage!

But yes, Grell and Jason said a lot of words better than I could. I am just a humble undead. Who loves Caliborn. And accidentally adopted his writing style. Oh well.

Can we get an F in the chat for his newfound lack of relevancy. I can take Dirk as an alternative but I still love my boy.

I don't think there's a single character that cracks me up as much as Caliborn. Not just that, his story of working his way up to becoming an artist is legitimately inspirational and shows that you may need to find your calling, experiment with different styles, and practice hard, but as long as you're committed to it you can do whatever you want. His fandom satire and constant complaining about Homestuck is hilarious and even vaguely relatable.

i love my piss garbage son

just dropping this here

THE FAR SUPERIOR CHERUB. CALIBORN IS THE BEST CHARACTER. NO ONE CAN SURPASS HIS GREATNESS.

I actually quite enjoy Caliborn as a villain, he's really interesting and his personality is really funny.

I appreciate both Cherubs though, and as far as favorites go I'm more fond of Calliope, than again... mostly bcs he's a villain. My favorite antagonist from Homestuck for sure, but as per usual I still kind of dislike antagonists on my favorite character sheets pffff. He's absolutely hilarious as a villain though and one of my favorite parts of the story. Homosuck was brilliant.

Caliborn may be the best character to have ever existed in any media created by man. He's the best artist, the best cherub and the true protagonist of homestuck. I wouldnt be surprised if i found out caliborn was the one who created the universe since it's definitely within his power.

Honestly Caliborn was super funny to me.

A TEEN DIDN'T LIKE THE DIRECTION OF MY STORY, SO HE CAME AND BEAT ME UP.

> THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

Like??? That's hilarious! God, he has so many funny remarks forged out of his self centered stupidity. I love it.

EDIT: I just realized that someone referenced the exact same line I did a few replies up, lmao. Just goes to show how funny that line is.