Things you should not put in an Ecto-Alchemologizer

[Ian Gitax]

The science of Ecto-Alchemologization is still new, and as with all new sciences, mistakes are inevitable. This thread exists to serve as a repository for any combinations resulting in any horrific monsters, abominations against nature, or creatures literally too pathetic to live us Ecto-Alchemologists come across in our experimentation.

WARNING: DO NOT COMBINE HUMAN DNA WITH CATS OR CAT-RELATED ITEMS
I've seen many new Ecto-Alchemologists begin with this seemingly straightforward combination, no doubt inspired by a certain subset of animated media. All of them have deeply regretted doing so.

Combinations to Avoid:

Human + Sunglasses:
Intended to produce human coolkids. Resulted in semitransparent humans that absorb significant amounts of high-energy visible light, making it dangerous for them to remain exposed to sunlight for very long.

Dog + Wasp:
Intended to create friendly and obedient wasps. Resulted in dog-sized but otherwise normal wasps.

Slug + Poetry:
Produces Vogons.

Human + Candy:
Produced a batch of both literally and metaphorically sweet children. However, this quickly resulted in my laboratory becoming infested with ants. The children were slowly and excruciatingly painfully devoured alive.

Anteater + Flamethrower:
Extremely effective at eliminating the ant infestation in my lab. Also extremely effective at eliminating most vegetation on the island said lab is located on.

Jaguar + Asbestos:
Successfully eliminated the fire-breathing anteaters. Island now completely uninhabitable.

[recursiveSlacker]

I would consider putting in a lawyer. You may be entitled to financial compensation.

[thorondraco]

Cherub+Horror terror

an even more eldritch abomination that also has a split personality disorder.

[lillithRamie]

Let not forget you can use this machine to subtract as well >:D

[Sokota]

Personally, I'm more interested in the human combinations. What if you could figure out the basic building blocks for all types of personalities? Of course, every human is slightly different, so the noise function would definitely play a role in creating these new human species.

For example, let's say I wanted to create a laidback musician type person
Human + Sunglasses + Turntables + Noise function

I get a laidback musician type person, as I intended, however (this is where the noise function would come into play), they get angry quite easily, and also have a weird interest in seafood?

I hope I'm making sense here, and not rambling like a madman

[thorondraco]

Personally, I'm more interested in the human combinations. What if you could figure out the basic building blocks for all types of personalities? Of course, every human is slightly different, so the noise function would definitely play a role in creating these new human species.

For example, let's say I wanted to create a laidback musician type person
Human + Sunglasses + Turntables + Noise function

I get a laidback musician type person, as I intended, however (this is where the noise function would come into play), they get angry quite easily, and also have a weird interest in seafood?

I hope I'm making sense here, and not rambling like a madman

A sapient being to create sapient life basically. Or at least attempt to. Cause that... .cactus thing wasn't exactly sapient? Or maybe it was? Shrugs.

Or fuck maybe it turns out in sburb humans are like Vanilla Sapience. They are the base code for creating a sapient being.

[RoyalFiddle]

Bros I mixed in my copies of gamebro and gamesis and now my species refuses to do anything but be a massive piece of shit all day

[RoyalFiddle]

Honestly if this wasn't spoilery as hell I'd make a Thread Game about it, cause fuck yeah

[Generalrabogolfo]

vriska's ectothingy with john's body catpcha card