Evil Genie

[Crpal]

Granted you get one oreo, completely non-poisoned. Too bad it's over ten years old and so stale that you start choking on it.

I wish for the ability to change the weather outside.

[Generalrabogolfo]

granted. you are enslaved by a shady corporation to change the weather at their whim soon after you started using them.

i wish i wasnt the most prolific user of this website.

[MP the OP OG]

Granted. Everyone knows you and hates you

I wish I wasn't depressed

[TobeWonInToronto]

Granted. You become quite happy and lively, but simply put, cannot experience negative emotions anymore.


I wish I was the lead singer in a famous band.

[eldritchCorvus]

Your wish has been granted and you have swapped minds with the lead purple blood troll on another planet and is in a famous troll band and has been killed in your sleep by a olive blood that had enough of your troublesome deeds you secretly done while not with your band meanwhile the troll that you swapped with is doing crimes on your planet

I wish for a decent Sburb session to be a part of at least having 11 other players with 11 other aspects that's not heart and has a 50/50 chance of being won

[Generalrabogolfo]

granted! turns out, a decent sburb session is filled with depressed people because of the death of their home planet so you'll have to, apart from the game itself, deal with your depression and/or madness.

i wish for the complete elimination of every trace of Jesus, the son of God, from every text, history or knowledge ever.

[babygusher]

Granted. There is now no trace of any superior power, but there is also no progression in technology nor evolution.

I wish for a perfectly regular box of fruit gushers, with no poisons, reality bending properties, or any out-of-the-ordinary traits.

[Roxy]

Granted. There is now no trace of any superior power, but there is also no progression in technology nor evolution.

I wish for a perfectly regular box of fruit gushers, with no poisons, reality bending properties, or any out-of-the-ordinary traits.

Granted. They're perfectly regular gushers. But they've all melted together under the hot winter sun of Texas

I wish to be given the power to completely restructure the U.S. Government to a design of my own creation, that works exactly as described, at any given moment, while still retaining the ability TO somehow describe it via text, words, etc., and to be able to continue living life as I do currently

[MorganMustDie]

Granted, although your wishes do contradict eachother. You cannot change the system you live in, as well as maintaining the exact style of life that you used to have, so the changes you make to the governmental structure take place in a separate timeline that you can never reach, whilst you continue to live out your second wish in an unchanged version of reality, and you are barred from entering your own utopia

I wanna meet james acaster

[eldritchCorvus]

Granted and you basically meet the corpse of James Acaster

I wish to have someone to work on a webcomic with me

[Generalrabogolfo]

granted. it's kate and makin.

i wish for the coronavirus to kill us all.

[paladinnertime]

The corona virus kills only us in this thread


I wish for 3 wishes and the pie

[RoyalFiddle]

The Three Wishes are baked into the Pie, making them unusable as wishes, as well as ruining the taste of the pie

Genie I wish for the power to make people realize that Homestuck has never not been at least decent

[ThePungeonMaster]

Granted, everyone suddenly thinks Homestuck is God's gift to humanity. All criticism is dropped, the authors are blindly praised, and consequently, the quality of Homestuck^2 and Hiveswap nosedives in quality, as none of the people working on it feel like they need to try.

I wish for Dirk to be done justice in HS^2, and not boiled down to a one-dimensional villain.

[RoyalFiddle]

Fuck it I know it's breaking manners for myself to go again this soon but I want this one.

Wish granted, absolutely nothing changes. You slowly begin to realize that this may have been a massive waste of time.

Yeah I wish for a KFC^tm Nashville^tm Hot^tm Chicken^tm Sandwich^tm that isn't greasy as all fuckin hell

[sigmatic]

Granted. This piece of shit is the dryest sandwich known to mankind. You're pretty sure most of it is actually sand.

I wish to instantly know all of the knowledge contained in any book I touch.

[Generalrabogolfo]

your brain eventually has a seizure because of all the knowledge.

i wish for some edible and non poisoned food

[Roxy]

Granted. You've been given school cafeteria slop.
If you can even call that truly "edible"

I wish to stop having adhd so bad I can't look at a note packet for more than five minutes straight