ItaliCuest

[23toedbasket]

>Italian: Offer him a green apple candy so he stops crying.

>ONE: Explain how you got here. Didn't you win the battle against... no wait you fled... or... wait what's going on?

You rush over to this odd, harmless stranger... MAMA MIA that's a big sword! it radiates with a familiar aura

I: "Aw, poor-a bambino, is-a okay here, have-a green-apple a-candy... tell Italian what-a happen to-a you"

Junior Italian sees your instant selflessness

JI: "PAPA ITALIAN-O! I-a KNEW you-a be the a-kindest papa! This-a Guy got here while you a sleeping... he's having a-hard time"

You are filled with Fatherly Pride +15 spirit.

ONE: I guess it all started with my mother she was... chaotic... Then she started seeing this guy and they said I had to consume some things, so I TRIED... like, what choice did I HAVE?... well, turns out... He's way bigger than me, and right when I needed her most she just... LEFT?? ME?? THERE??? SOB sob SOB*luckily the guy was cool and let me slink away but my stupid STEP DAD dropped me off in this weird place where some hands were either arguing or doing battle with some heinous googly moogly... *SOB*It came at me so I slashed at it with this SWORD that like... Killed?? my?? step dad?? I guess??. I don't know.. it's all SO SCREWED UP *sob*... It slowed him down but not before he RIPPED OF MY TENDRICLES... so I ran and ran until I got here, and just started CRYING. Your son has been helping me through things... you've really raised a good kid here err...?

I: Italian... Papa Italian (PI)

JI: And-a I AM JUNIOR ITALIANO nice to meet-a you, mister-a?

ONE: call me... ONE? I guess?

JI: No, nono that is-a awkward... I call-a you UNO

with all this sobbing UNO has yet to eat his Green-apple candy

[luigi]

>UNO: Cease this shameful display. Believe in yourself.

[23toedbasket]

>UNO: Cease this shameful display. Believe in yourself.

*KrOncH* Candy YUM!
No seriously this candy is GOOD, UNO feels GOOD
Your tendricles ERUPT from your back, FULLY heALED... but UNO is ONE no longer

JI: AIIIEEEEE!! PAPA! You CANDY he-a HEAL-A UNO You like-a the name ah? I get-a my CREaTIVITY from me PAPA

PI: Mama-mia! Those candies really do the trick!"

UNO: thank-a you PAPA! i feel,,, powerful again!

You can't see bestowing this very minor gift reaping anything but good consequences


PI: So what-a do we do now? IIIIiii wanna go back home, but I a-liked being a big hero... maybe we find-a someone to talk to"

In the distance is a MYSTERIOUS CASTLE which BRIMS WITH PLOT POTENTIAL
but also
Some BIG RED SHMUCK screaming profanity
and a DOOHICKY being CONSUMED by a SWARM of... something

JI: Hey! UNO! It's-a DANGEROUS here, maybe I go grab-a you SWORD for-a you! Is not-a so far back!

[23toedbasket]

... ;)

[luigi]

>Junior Italian: Tend to the other red guy.

>Uno: These people are too nice for you to have any ulterior motives. If you have any, dispose of them immediately.

>Papa Italian: Good idea, go get that sword.

[23toedbasket]

>Junior Italian: Tend to the other red guy.

>Uno: These people are too nice for you to have any ulterior motives. If you have any, dispose of them immediately.

>Papa Italian: Good idea, go get that sword.

PI: Don't-a worry little meat-a-ball Papa will go and-a get the SWORD


PAPA returns along their path, UNO and JUNIOR go to see the FOUL MOUTHED man

MAMA-MIA Some-a-body stole-a the SWORD! what now??

[luigi]

>UNO: Use your newfound people skills to help the potty mouther calm down.

[Merlin]

Italian: Find the fellow who walked away with the sword and ask for it back.

[23toedbasket]

>UNO: Use your newfound people skills to help the potty mouther calm down.

UNO and JUNIOR walk up to the POTTY MOUTH, they walk upon a bloody scene. The GUY has plenty of reason to be SWEARING so much, seems his EYES, ARM and FOOT have been BRUTALLY REMOVED!!

J: AIiiee! this-a make-a me so SAD how do we fix-a THIS?? its enough to make-a meatball lose hes a-mustachiality!

UNO: I have NO IDEA

Red Guy: F%&4 STUPID sH## c@# BIG a** B^%$#@& MOther %%$#$@!

Italian: Find the fellow who walked away with the sword and ask for it back.

PAPA walks around the tree to see some ARMLESS BIPED. Seems that the guy is chewing? on it? this doesn't look pleasant but it doesn't seem to mind!

[Merlin]

> Italian: take your sword back and join the rest of the party, try not to hurt blue biped.

[luigi]

>Blue Biped: THE CRUSTACEAN IS GOING TO TAKE YOUR SHINY MEDAL, RUN AWAY!!!

Spoiler

Show

gET IT

CRUSTacean.

[23toedbasket]

> Italian: take your sword back and join the rest of the party, try not to hurt blue biped.

>Blue Biped: THE CRUSTACEAN IS GOING TO TAKE YOUR SHINY MEDAL, RUN AWAY!!!

Spoiler

Show

gET IT

CRUSTacean.

papa goes for the sword but the BIPED STARTS TO RUN!! unsurprisingly, a thing with only legs can use them REALLY WELL!! you're gonna lose him!

[luigi]

>Get faster by engaging TUBE MODE

[23toedbasket]

>Get faster by engaging TUBE MODE

PAPA engages PIZZA ROLL-A MODE!! you-a much more aerodynamic this way!!
you're catching up to the BIPED!

you CATCH the SWORD

OH GOSH! that is a VERY GOOD SWORD


Too... Good... the BIPED has been BISECTED...
PI: "mama...mi...a"

[Merlin]

>Say a prayer for the biped
>return to your friends

[luigi]

>Junior Italian: Witness your father engage in grisly homicide, and consequently lose faith in him as a role model.

[23toedbasket]

>Say a prayer for the biped
>return to your friends

As these ideas come to PAPA's mind you hear JUNIOR CRY OUT in DISTRESS!

PI: JUNIOR??!!

>Junior Italian: Witness your father engage in grisly homicide, and consequently lose faith in him as a role model.

This looks BAD! The foulmouth is RUTHLESSLY attacking UNO, they're both STRONG the fight is FEIRCE but seems like it could go EITHER WAY at this point.



JI: PAPA, Wh... WHAT HAVE-A YOU-A DONE? UNO, UNO IS-A IN TROUBLE! WE NEED-A YOU HELP PAPAA

PAPA engages PIZZA ROLE MODE and DASHES over to his PRECIOUS WARD and NEWFOUND APPRENTICE, with the SWORD in hand you feel a SHARP increase in POWER

Looks like that SWARM is headed right for them! wHat is goING ON HERE?


...;)

[luigi]

>Other Red Guy: Begin monologuing about your situation and your origins.

[Merlin]

Papa: use the power of the sword to stop the swarm

[23toedbasket]

>Other Red Guy: Begin monologuing about your situation and your origins.

It looks like UNO is gaining the upper hand... and he's getting Frustrated.

King Grotto: Oh PAPA it CANNOT BE, I'm gonna DIE, ME!! KING GROTTO!! I survived an attack by DEFEATING the GREAT OPPRESSOR'S ARMIES and now the B*@#%&D! has come back to FINISH THE JOB!! fine, FINE!! CONSUME ME... ADD ME TO YOUR DARK DOMAIN!! I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON YOUR SINS AND DROWN IN THE BLOOD YOU HAVE SPILLED YOU F%&*#**$ RED P#$@K!!

Junior: What?? This-a no Oppressor This-a is a-UNO!!

UNO: WHO the HELL are yOU tALkING to you FOUL MoUtheD 8*As7&7*A*S& I'll show YOU OPPRESSION

a strange dripping Greenish Dude with the number EIGHT on his face goops his way over slowly... and in a very shy voice says

EIGHT: G-goop... G-oogooGOOP! <h-hey... hey stop!>

WHILE THIS IS HAPPENING, PAPA ITALIAN RUNS BETWEEN HIS COMPANIONS AND THE SWARM

Papa: use the power of the sword to stop the swarm

kSZSHZHHASHHHHZHHHHHHHHABRA BA BA BACHAZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM

PAPA uses THE POWER OF THE SWORD TO STOP THE SWARM, and a show of POWER is produced by this BLADE like none you could have believed without being PRESENT!!!! PAPA's arms are SUPERCHARGED with PURITY and the SWORD BURSTS with A HIGH LEVEL INCORRUPTIBLAST which OBLITERATES the SWARM!!!

YOU FEEL BAD-ASS!!! MUSTACHIALITY APPROACHING 100%!!!



PAPA returns to the group STEAMING WITH PURITY

P: What's a going on here??

UNO: PAPA! wow! I was never able to do THAT with it! Maybe you should keep that SWORD from now on... uh... we wen't to help THIS GUY and he was really really hurt, so I visualized healing him and the GREEN APPLE CANDY started glowing and MY WISH CAME TRUE it was a MIRACLE!! and then the guy starts ATTACKING ME calling me THE GREAT OPPRESSOR

King Grotto: Wh-what?? you're not the GREAT OPPRESSOR? I guess... if, you were carrying a purity like that before your... OUR, friend here I guess you CAN'T be but... gosh ya look JUST LIKE HIM!!

J: PAPA!! Oh-my-GOSH that-a was so COOL you a-save us from-a that SWARM!!! Where you learn-a to do that PAPA?? you-a the most TALENTED PAPA in-a the WORLD! GOTTA BE!

EIGHT: GoOoOoOoOoOoooP!! <ahhHHhHHhHhhHhHhhhH!>