>ROBOQUEST

[BrobyDDark]

>wear the robot like a suit

[luigi]

>There is no incinerator because the disposal shoot is cool

Not really, it's the same temperature as the rest of the room (ie: room temperature). There could always be some sort of temperature control on it, or the chute could just be long enough that the heat doesn't really travel all the way up. Also it's spelled 'chute'.

>It does not lead to outer space because there is oxygen in the room and gravity that never alters

You can't say that for certain. There could be a seal that prevents oxygen from escaping, and gravity across the entire FRIGATE is regulated AUTOMAGICALLY by some sort of complicated doohickey in the HULL, meaning you don't have to worry about it.

>Flim: Create a rope for the boys to hold on to on their way down

You create a rope out of some junk from the CLOTHES TRUNK. It's so pretty and multicoloured! This will surely keep Flam safe as you send him down into the pits of the dangerous unknown.

>Flam: Create oxygen seal with clown and go down the garbage disposal to see where it leads.

Flim ties you up and instructs you on how to make an oxygen seal. The makeshift rope doesn't fit around the CLOWN so only you get tied up. You're forced to carry the thing in your own two hands.

>Next.

You begin shimmying your way down the chute, mouth-to-mouth with the robo-clown. What was this supposed to accomplish again? The air is perfectly breathable down here, except for the stink of garbage of course. Although the fact the chute smells so bad reassures you that the other end probably isn't deep space.

>Next.

The crudely made rope falls apart! No one is surprised, except for two idiot children who never learned about knots.

>Wear the robot like a suit

You attempt to put the robot on while you fall in order to protect yourself from the impact but you just sort of flail and punt it away from yourself. Oh shit you hope you land on something soft...

>Next.

Your prayers have been answered! You have landed on top of something soft... and squishy, and wet and wow this is a lake of garbage. You're stuck in a garbage stew! The CLOWN has already been swallowed whole, never to be seen again.

>Next.

You dropped Flam! You hope he doesn't hold this against you.

[BrobyDDark]

>Flam: Hold it against her for the rest of your natural life
>Clown: Get reactivated somehow while in the garbage stew

[Mandy]

Flam: Commandeer security go-kart

[luigi]

>Flam: Hold it against her for the rest of your natural life

You are never going to let her forget this. You deserved better than to be dropped onto a pile of garbage in some gross grey garbage lake. Garbage garbage garbage. Flim is garbage.

No she's not you take it back you love her but god damn she's an idiot sometimes.

>Clown: Get reactivated somehow while in the garbage stew

You are now the CLOWN. You cannot be reactivated as you are an inanimate, hollow robot shell painted like a clown. The garbage stew fills you up and drags you to the bottom. You will never be relevant to the story again. Never. Ever.

You can no longer be the CLOWN.

Flam: Commandeer security go-kart

That thing looks so fun! You wonder how fast it goes. Time to go commit grand theft auto.

>Next.

You attempt to make your way across the islands of garbage, but your feet get stuck in the pulpy mud-like garbage stew! Now what?

[Merlin]

Cinnamon: go find your brother
Sam: pretend you are a robot and get those guys on the edge to help you out.

Robot: take a dump on the SPACIAL REPOSITIONER, then just watch it teleport back and fourth for a while.

[misery]

drink the garbage water

[luigi]

Cinnamon: Go find your brother

You call down the chute for Flam, but hear nothing in response. You can't see all the way to the bottom because of how it bends, and it's too dark down the shaft. You hope he survived...

You're going to need to find another way out. It won't be long before the EMPRESS notices a kid missing.

Sam: Pretend you are a robot and get those guys on the edge to help you out.

You begin flailing your arms around and beeping a whole bunch. The two robots look concerned! As concerned as a robot can be, you guess.

>Next.

One of them pulls out... a spoon? OH! That's an EXTENDO-SPOON!

>Next.

The robot scoops you up in the E-SPOON and pulls you to shore. What a homie!

Robot: take a dump on the SPACIAL REPOSITIONER, then just watch it teleport back and fourth for a while.

You open up the TRUNK in your CHEST and dump the contents on the SPACIAL REPOSITIONER. The items begin warping back and forth across the two platforms. Wow that's cool!

>Next.

The EMPRESS is pretty pissed off about all the time you're wasting in the past. Sorry lady, you can't change the past. What's done is done. If you can't handle my memories at their most asinine, you don't deserve them at their most intriguing.

Spoiler

Show

drink the garbage water

Didn't see this till after I updated, I'll use it in the next

[23toedbasket]

garbage water: just happen to contain magical properties which greatly enhance Sam Flam's base stats

[Merlin]

Cinnamon: go through the air vent, that must lead out. take your favorite album with you for awesome adventure tunes.
Sam: befriend the robots that helped you out, they seem like cool guys who would like to join your crew. (you're putting a crew together)
Robot: the wall wants you to "find string" go take the string on off the yo-yo so the wall will leave you alone.

[luigi]

>Drink the garbage water.

You're pretty thirsty all of a sudden so you decide to drink some of the stinky garbage water.

>Next.

You are now a HOMELESS VAGABOND. You are a member of this capitalist society who has been left behind, and forced to live off the scraps of the upper classes. It's tough being a hobo and living on the streets. The things you've had to do to survive....

Of course there is no real economy on this ship you're all just robots. You're pretty sure the EMPRESS just felt out of place not having a poverty-stricken social class to subjugate, so she created you and your hobo friends that live down here in the garbage engine, where all the waste from the ship is recycled back into electric power / raw matter for the HEAVENLY MACHINA.

It is your duty to be as homeless and degenerate as possible, but gods be damned if you won't let yourself live out the stereotype of the noble savage in the process.

>HV: Examine child

You thought this guy was a robot at first, an oppresed minority like yourself, but the way he's vomiting after drinking that garbage water has caused you to reconsider this. You should probably turn him in to your lordlady, but... he's gonna be tripping the fuck out and that's not a good time to be confronting parental figures.

You give him a gentle back rub while he vomits up a bunch of GARBAGE and CAT FOOD.

>Garbage Water: Just happen to contain magical properties which greatly enhance Sam Flam's base stats

You calm yourself down by convincing yourself the garbage water is magic. You're fine. You're fine. (No you aren't.)

The garbage water is a highly potent chemical mixture, producing effects similar to drugs like jenkim, lsd, psilocybin, peyote, dmt, ketamine, mescaline, etc. All in all, this is probably the most harrowing experience of your life so far.

>Cinnamon: go through the air vent, that must lead out. take your favorite album with you for awesome adventure tunes.

You won't have a way to play the album until you find another CD Player but yeah you have to make a decision here...

>Next.

You slip your NIRVANA + MILK HOTEL CDs all into one sleeve and tie it shut. It's kinda thick now with like 4 CDs inside it. You hope this doesn't damage the discs. Now... how are you actually planning on getting up to that vent?

>Sam: befriend the robots that helped you out, they seem like cool guys who would like to join your crew. (you're putting a crew together)

FLAM: Hey.
FLAM: Come closer...
FLAM: I need to tell you something...
HOBOT: BZZT-WHAT?
HOBOT: WHAT-IS-IT?

>Next.

FLAM: I'm...
FLAM: I'm...
HOBOT: WHAT!?

>Next.

FLAM: I'm putting a crew together. Are you in?
HOBOT: ...
HOBOT: ...
HOBOT: ...
HOBOT: ...
HOBOT: ...
HOBOT: ...
HOBOT: ...
HOBOT: ...
HOBOT: ...
HOBOT: ...
HOBOT: ...SURE?

>Next.

Wicked.

>Robot: The wall wants you to "find string" go take the string on off the yo-yo so the wall will leave you alone.

You pull the string from the yo-yo so the wall stops insisting upon itself.

>Next.

Oh god dammit. What does it think you are, retarded? You don't need a hint system! You are an EXPERIENCED gamer.

>Next.

Suddenly the sign turns off. Weird. It's almost like it knew you were getting fed up with its TUTORIALIZING.

[23toedbasket]

>Toybot: notice, from your towering vantage point on top of that box, the tools over yonder. Explore it!

[Merlin]

Robot: use the SPATIAL REPOSITIONER to get your tools. open it up and take a look at what you have got.
Cinnamon: obviously just stack the cat food under the vent then use the boombox as a "stepping stone" up to the food and crawl out.
Sam: go get more robots to join your crew. your taking over this ship.

[luigi]

>Toybot: Notice, from your towering vantage point on top of that box, the tools over yonder.

Okay. You do that, pretty much verbatim.

"Wow! I just noticed, from my towering vantage point on top of this box, the tools over yonder."

...is what you would say if you could talk.

>Toybot: Explore it!

You walk over to the TOOLBOX and attempt to open it, but the lid is sealed by a lock too complex for your tiny TOYBOT body. If only there was a bigger, stronger ROBOT around who could open it for you...

>Robot: Use the SPATIAL REPOSITIONER to get your tools.

You command the TOYBOT (using your BLUETOOTH ANTENNA, obviously) to push the TOOLBOX onto the SPACIAL REPOSITIONER. It is unable to get it up onto the platform by itself, so the BUNNY lends a hand.

>Next.

The TOOLBOX spawns on your side, and then immediately falls in the water.

>Robot: Open it up and take a look at what you have got.

You attempt to fish the TOOLBOX out of the water, but your ARM sustains heavy water damage in the process!

>Next.

You drop it on the ground to give it time to dry out. If only you had some RICE to put it in. You'll have to find another way to grab that TOOLBOX.

DOES ANYBODY HAVE A GIANT SPONGE? NO? OK.

>Cinnamon: Obviously just stack the cat food under the vent.

You move the stack of CAT FOOD boxes to the space underneath the vent, expending considerable effort in the process. These boxes contain a LOT of food, and thus are quite heavy.

>Next.

Oh yeah you stuff the OVERFLOWING CD CASE in your COAT POCKET.

>Cinnamon: Use the boombox as a "stepping stone" up to the food and crawl out.

You're reluctant to do anything that might damage your precious BOOMBOX, but at the same time you can't leave Sam Flam on his own for too long. You (gently) climb on top of the BOOMBOX and make your way to the VENT.

>Next.

Much to your chagrin, it turns out the VENT is screwed into the wall! If only you had a FLATHEAD SCREWDRIVER, or like some sort of MAGIC WAND would work too. But everyone knows magic is a bunch of bullshit so it looks like you're going to need a SCREWDRIVER.

>Sam: Go get more robots to join your crew. You're taking over this ship.

Sam is too busy tripping the fuck out and being babysat by the HOBOTS to recruit more robots. His drug induced fever dreams produce visions of him leading the heroic efforts to end the great tyranny of the ASCENDANCY OF CONDUCT. In his dreams, he is the Hero. It's him.

>Next.

God dammit kid can you at least try and keep it in the bucket?

[Mandy]

>Robot: Ask minibot to throw the ladle through/over the fence

[Merlin]

>Cinnamon: give up. you will never find a screwdriver in here. accept the futility of your situation and throw yourself down the garbage chute so you can die with Sam in one last act of brilliant defiance.

[23toedbasket]

>sam, you're freaking out man YOU'RE FREAKING OUT!

[RancidRancor]

>hey ROBOT show us that FUCKING GAME RIGHT NOW thanks

[luigi]

>Robot: Ask minibot to throw the ladle through/over the fence

ROBOT: BEEP BOOP. BRAAP. BEEP. BOOP BOOP. BOOPBOOP. BEEP. BRAAP. BEEP BOOP.

TOYBOT: mnmnmnmnmnmnmnmmmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmmnmnnmnmnmnmmnmmnmnmnmnnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmmnmmnnmmnmnmnmmnmnmnmnnmnmnmnmnmmnmmnmnmnmnmmnmnmn.

-TRANSLATION-
ROBOT: Hello small friend. Would you mind politely passing me the ladle I can see on the other side of this here fence? You can pass it over the top or through it, between the bars, whatever is easiest for you.

TOYBOT: Of course my big friend! I am always willing to assist such a fine specimen of genuine robotics such as yourself! I love assisting my friends and want nothing more than to make you happy!

>Next.

The TOYBOT does what you ask, nudging the LADLE underneath the fence with its feet. What a helpful little buddy!

>Cinnamon: Give up.

You... you can't give up! Your urge to save your brother is too strong! You must fight the despair...

>Cinnamon: You will never find a screwdriver in here.

The depression is overwhelming. You are starting to realize the futility of your situation... if you can't find a SCREWDRIVER, your only other option will be to fall down the chute, same as him... but that's suicide. No it isn't, it can't be, because that means Sam is DEAD! The cognitive dissonance born of naive hopefulness is threatening to tear your mind apart. You cannot avoid this any longer... he might be dead.

>Cinnamon: Accept the futility of your situation and throw yourself down the garbage chute.

You are going to do it. You are going to kill yourself, and join Sam Flam in the afterlife. It is your fault the poorly constructed ROPE broke. You deserve to die with him. You are worthless.

This is all your fault.

>Cinnamon: Die with Sam in one last act of brilliant defiance.

Alright. You want to die and all, but that is a very large SPIDER.

No matter how suicidal you might be, there's no fucking way you're going near that thing. If you want to go down the chute you'll need to find a long range spider killing weapon.

>Sam: you're freaking out man, YOU'RE FREAKING OUT!

You no longer feel like a hero. The hero is not you.

>Next.

hey ROBOT show us that FUCKING GAME RIGHT NOW thanks

>Next.

Nervously, it turns the GAME LIE around to show you the screen.

THAT MOTHERFUCKER. THAT IS YOUR GAME LIE. HOW DARE THEY TAINT IT WITH oh hey is that an actual Pokemon game? You've only ever played bootlegs. You'd love to get a chance to check out some of the canonical monster designs. Understandably, the bot does not want to give up the GAME LIE. They're worried you're going to either vomit on it or find a way to damage it in your drug-addled state.

Also, Pokemon is just really addictive.

[Merlin]

>Sam: let him keep the GAME LIE, it will help boost morale. now that you are recovered. go expand your crew.
>Cinnamon: use an antenna from the TV, and the strings on the guitar as a makeshift bow and arrow to kill the spider then kill yourself down the chute
>Robot: use the ladle to get your tools. open the box and see what you got.