>ROBOQUEST

[23toedbasket]

(shit, didn't mean to do that. okay)
>sam: you ARE the hero, move through the darkness and come out into the light my friend. Find your purpose in holy heroism. you can do it pal. you got this.

>Robot: I could have sworn this has happened before... weird, deja-vu

[Generalrabogolfo]

>sam: tell the dude with the game lie how to get liew in pokemon

[luigi]

>Sam: Let him keep the GAME LIE, it will help boost morale.

Yeah, you're way too high to use this thing right now. You let the HOBOT hold on to it, but you make sure it knows you let them hold onto it.

>Next.

Yeah, it knows its place. Good bot.

>Sam: Now that you are recovered, go expand your crew.

You feel great. You're totally recovered, and it's time for you to put your crew together. What's the crew for? Who cares! In the short term it'd be nice to have friends while you find your way out of this garbage chamber and back to Cinnamon, long term maybe you can just overthrow the EMPRESS and take over her FRIGATE entirely.

>Next.

You leave the tent, with the more responsible of the two HOBOTS following you outside. You deign to call this one FL-01, for FLAM'S LEGION #1. The gamer HOBOT you call FL-02.

You see a HOBOT fighting some sort of SWAMP MONSTER for the consumption rights of an old food object.

>Next.

The HOBOT loses purchase of the food object, and the SWAMP MONSTER swallows it whole!

>Sam: You ARE the hero.

That's right. With the first wave of your trip beginning to subside, you clear some of the bad thoughts out of your mind and focus on what's really important. Showing this HOBOT, henceforth (hopefully) to be known as FL-03, that you are a HERO and LEADER.

>Next.

Obviously the most rational thing for you to do next is dive headfirst into the SWAMP MONSTER's gullet. You will recover the food object at any cost!

>Cinnamon: Use an antenna from the TV, and the strings on the guitar as a makeshift bow and arrow to kill the spider

You'd like to, but the SPIDER is on the GUITAR!! You are too scared to get close enough to grab one of the STRINGS. If you want to go through with crafting your makeshift bow you'll have to find a different source of string.

>Robot: Use the ladle to get your tools.

You aren't sure why you thought this would work. Seriously, picking up a metal TOOLBOX with a flimsy plastic ladle? What a silly idea that was. If only you had a MAGNET, or a GIANT SPONGE, or even just a few buckets because then you could use the LADLE to drain all this water and just grab the box with your bare hand(s).

>Robot: You could have sworn this has happened before...

Yeah, that's what happens when you use a machine to view all of your memories. You see stuff that happened before. Oh hey the angry lady is gone. You wonder where she went.

It seems she left a guard behind to watch over you and make sure the MEMORY DOWNLOAD process isn't interrupted. Wait a second that fucker has your ARM equipped!

>...

Well, this is it. You managed to grab the rotten food object, some sort of mouldy loaf of meat, but you have no way of getting it back to FL-03. Your attempt at HEROISM was a failure. You are a failure... the second wave of your trip begins, augmented by the acidic fumes of the SWAMP MONSTER's gut.

>Next.

You let the darkness consume you...

>Sam: Move through the darkness and come out into the light.

You see a light... but the dark thoughts hold you back.

Maybe you should just give in...

>Next.

Another figure appears in the light... is that... it can't be. Your sister!?

>Sam: Find your purpose in holy heroism.

That's right, you can't give up. You will not fall to the dark side. You must reunite with your beloved sister, Cinnamon Flim. You reach out to grab her hand...

>Sam: You got this.

You grab onto what you believe to be your sister, but in actuality is the HOBOT's E-SPOON. He manages to pull you out of the SWAMP MONSTER's gullet in the nick of time.

>Next.

The SWAMP MONSTER slinks away into the horrid drink.

>Next.

Somehow you managed to hold on to the mouldy food object! You give it to the new HOBOT, and it agrees to join your crew in return. You officially christen it FL-03.

You ask it what it needs with food, considering it's a robot. It tells you it doesn't need food, it just likes collecting things in accordance with its homeless person programming.

...You can't help but feel like you wasted your time a little bit.

>Sam: Tell the dude with the game lie how to get liew in pokemon

Liew is not a pokemon. Did you mean Chukkpookola? Or maybe Ui'ghkundo.

[BrobyDDark]

>Flam: Your crew is complete. COMMENCE OPERATION "TAKE OVER THIS GOD DAMN FRIGATE"

[Merlin]

Sam: 4 is the magic number, take your crew and go overthrow the power structure around here.
Cinnamon: just throw your tv at it. this is a rational response to actual danger.
Robot: take the fish out of the lock and see if it will fetch the tools for you.

[Punchlion]

>post a recap of what's happened so far bc this thing is ten pages

>Robot use your detectors to sense where your body is, arms, legs, torso... etc. Establish bluetooth connection and begin iron-man-ing right there

[23toedbasket]

>legs, what are you up to? complete the task successfully

[luigi]

>Sam: 4 is the magic number.

...that's right! 4! Four! FOUR! FOUR IS THE MAGIC NUMBER!!!!

>Next.

If you were more socially aware, or maybe more sober, you would realize that shaking people and screaming in their faces about the magic of the number four is unacceptable behavior.

>Next.

FLAM: One is to three as three is to five and five is to four and four is the magic number!!!!
FL-01: ...
FL-03: ...
FLAM: Don't you GET IT!?
FL-01: ...
FL-02: ...
FL-03: ...
FLAM: IT'S THE SMALLEST COMPOSITE NUMBER YOU GUYS!!!!
FL-01: ...
FL-02: ...
FL-03: ...WHAT.
FLAM: Wait... why is the greek numeral for four a triangle!? How does that make any sense!?!?!?!?
FL-01: WHAT IS A. GREEK?
FLAM: I don't... what? I don't know! That's not important. Look at this.
FL-02: ...
FL-03: ...
FLAM: Do you see what I'm doing with my hands?
FL-01: YES.
FL-02: I DO NOT. UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE. OF. THE HAND GESTURE.
FL-03: ONE HAND HAS. ONE DIGIT ERECT. WHILE THE. OTHER HAS TWO DIGITS. CLEARLY REPRESENTATIVE. OF HOW US THREE ROBOTS ARE. STANDING.
FL-01: OH. YES.
FL-02: CLEARLY.
FLAM: What? No. It's another way to show FOUR!!!!
FL-02: BUT THERE IS. ONLY THREE DIGITS ERECTED...
FLAM: EXACTLY!!!! Are the ROMANS CONSPIRING with the GREEKS!?!?!?!? Why do their threes equal four...
FL-03: WHAT IS A. ROMAN?
FL-01: I AM. UNSURE. I WOULD STILL LIKE TO. KNOW WHAT A GREEK. IS.
FLAM: You guys are missing the point.
FLAM: None of you are questioning what's really important here.
FLAM: Why is the Bengali symbol for four, an eight.
FLAM: EIGHT IS DOUBLE WHAT FOUR IS SUPPOSED TO BE
FL-02: ...BENGALI?
FLAM: Guys the duodecimal system is based on the number four, despite the fact that duo means two and deca means ten.
FLAM: Why is nobody DOING anything about this!?!?!?!?
FL-01: ...
FL-02: ...
FL-03: ...
FLAM: The four elements...
FLAM: The Bases of Power...
FLAM: Torah, Zaboor, Injeel, Quran...
FLAM: Even in my DNA there are... four... oh my god...
FLAM: Guanine... Cytosine, Adenine, Thymine...
FLAM: Oh god how deep does the conspiracy go!?!?!?!?
FLAM: I HAVE FOUR APPENDAGES!
FLAM: THE CAUSE THE MATTER THE END THE FORM
FLAM: WHY DO CHAIRS HAVE FOUR LEGS!?!?!?!?
FLAM: ....
FL-01: ...
FL-02: ...
FL-03: ...

>Next.

The weight of these realizations, borne of sickness from drinking the garbage water, threaten to destroy your mind. You do everything within your power to focus on a single point in the middle-distance, and steady your breathing. For a 12 year old kid who's never done any drugs before, you sure are handling this well.

12 is evenly divisible by four... no, stop. Focus on your breathing.

>Next.

With great reluctance, you provide your glorious new leader with emotional support. Wait why is this guy your leader all of a sudden, all he did was show up and start vomiting everywhere.

Whatever, it's not your job to question such things. As an ASCENDANT ROBOT it is your duty to obey the orders of ASCENDANT ROYALTY. According to your sensors that includes this kid for some reason, so... yeah you provide your glorious leader with some emotional support.

>Flam: Your crew is complete.

Filled with determination and friendship thanks to the support of your loyal HOBOT, FL-01, you manage to shift your attention to the motley crew standing before you. 3 HOBOTS... plus one Sam makes FOUR!!!! YOUR CREW IS COMPLETE!!!!

>Flam: COMMENCE OPERATION "TAKE OVER THIS GOD DAMN FRIGATE"

FLAM: LEGION!
FL-01: !
FL-02: !
FL-03: !
FLAM: COMMENCE OPERATION:
FLAM: "TAKE OVER THIS GOD DAMN FRIGATE"!
FL-01: ...
FL-02: ...
FL-03: ...
FLAM: What?
FL-01: WE ARE. UNFAMILIAR WITH THIS. OPERATION.
FL-03: I AM. NEW. TO THIS CREW. AND HAVE NOT BEEN INFORMED OF ANY. OPERATIONS.
FL-02: ME NEITHER. ALTHOUGH. I AM NOT NEW. TO THIS CREW. BUT. I HAVE BEEN INSIDE. PLAYING GAMES. SO IT IS POSSIBLE THAT. I MISSED IT. WHEN I WAS. INSIDE PLAYING. GAMES.
FLAM: ....Right.
FLAM: So the operation is as such,
FLAM: And as follows,
FLAM: It is thusly,
FLAM: That...
FLAM: Hm...

What is the first step in taking over an ASCENDANT FRIGATE from the inside?

>Sam: Take your crew and go overthrow the power structure around here.

Yeah you guess there's no better place to start than right here and now. You have no idea which door to take to get out of here. That is, if any of them actually lead anywhere useful.

>Cinnamon: Just throw your TV at it.

WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT YOU HOIST THE TELEVISION ALOFT

>This is a rational response to actual danger.

AND THROW IT!

>Next.

Frighteningly enough, it seems the SPIDER has left no corpse. That can only mean...

>Next.

It's still alive, somewhere in your room.

>Robot: Take the fish out of the lock.

You grasp the FISH firmly by its tail and pull it out of the lock. It comes out in one piece, albeit crushed and suffocated. You have killed it in your stupidity.

>Robot: See if it will fetch the tools for you.

You give the FISH a quick command before tossing it in the water in order to fetch the TOOLS.

...It doesn't seem to be obeying your commands. Instead it just opts to bleed in the water

>Robot: Use your detectors to sense where your body is: arms, legs, torso... etc. Establish bluetooth connection and begin iron-man-ing right there.

You cannot use your sensors to locate any of your body parts until your ANTENNA is repaired! Along with this, the ANTENNA is required for a BLUETOOTH CONNECTION.

>Post a recap of what's happened so far.

Mamma-Mia, I guess this story is getting a little long...

Spoiler

Show

The Hit Webcomic ROBOQUEST began on January 31st, 2020. Written by Luigi the Plumber of Sarasaland (formerly known as a resident of the Mushroom Kingdom) it is the story of a BOUNTY HUNTING ROBOT as it attempts to find and hunt down criminals in outer space. It is also an excuse to draw funny pictures of robots.

Our star and MAIN PROTAGONIST, the BOUNTY HUNTING ROBOT is first seen standing around in its SHIP, amidst a CATASTROPHIC SHIP FAILURE renders it unable to move. This disrupts the ROBOT's ongoing quest, its search for a BOUNTY to hunt and claim reward for.

The ROBOT spends the first little while messing around in its room. It puts a SWORD in its ARM slot and then attempts to draw that SWORD, disconnecting its own TORSO in the process. After falling into a heap of parts its LEGS gain sentience and begin enacting a plan for SPACE PIRACY. It is unknown (to the reader at least) why the LEGS gained sentience at this moment, but regardless of why, the ROBOT knows it must get them back under control before they use the ROBOT's SHIP for PIRACY.

During all this the ROBOT's pet CAT drinks GASOLINE and gets high, knocking itself unconscious. The LEGS use this opportunity to attempt to cut open the RELIQUARY CAT and retrieve the EPIC SPACE WEAPONRY stored inside. The ROBOT, now just a HEAD and TORSO hopping around, manages to get to the CAT first, crushing its little body and equipping the TECHNOMAGICAL FORK from the carcass.

Out of spite, the LEGS then equipped one of the ROBOT's fallen ARMS. Unfortunately for the LEGS, the ARM was still loyal to the ROBOT prime. While the ARM and LEGS got distracted making music, the ROBOT remembered the entire reason it went through the trouble of finding the FORK oh so long ago and finally used it to put an end to the LICH's presence in this universe. The BUNNY that housed its soul would forever contain three holes from where the mighty FORK had stabbed it during its exorcism of the great evil.

Some other stuff happened and by the end of it the ROBOT had used the FORK to reclaim both its ARM and LEGS, thus ending CHAPTER 1.

Chapter 2 begins with the ROBOT messing around some more, doing stuff like painting with blood and then realizing that there's blood everywhere and maybe they should clean up. Unfortunately the ROBOT got distracted with stuff on its shelf and ended up starting a FIRE that threatened to destroy its SHOES! The SHOES were retrieved safely, but the FIRE continued to spread, its job of expansion made so much easier by the GASOLINE spilled all over the floor of the SHIP. The ROBOT tried many things to put out the fire, including at one point sticking its own HEAD in the blaze, but all that did was destroy its ANTENNA.

After a few more failed attempts, the ROBOT finally had the idea to just open the trapdoor and let the vacuum of space suck out all the OXYGEN in the SHIP. Now that the CAT was dead, there was no need to maintain a consistent OXYGEN level inside the SHIP after all. Unfortunately the VACUUM was so strong it pulled our ROBOT right out into the frigid outside, where it found the source of the SHIP's shutdown - it had run into a pair of purple space monsters called TRITOPI (singular TRITOPUS). The ROBOT initially got off on a VERY wrong foot with the monsters and ended up killing one of them with its powerful SPACE WEAPONRY. This of course only served to anger the other space monster, and the ROBOT used the FORK to begin fleeing.

After fleeing for a couple of pages, the TRITOPUS had already caught up to the ROBOT. In a last ditch effort to save itself, the ROBOT sacrificed its LEGS to the belly of the beast. The LEGS, being a crafty SPACE PIRATE, managed to steal the FORK in the nick of time, and used it to escape the TRITOPUS' MAW. It then flew towards a large red FRIGATE in hopes of taking it over in its first act of successful SPACE PIRACY. The ROBOT managed to convince the TRITOPUS to chase down the LEGS, in order to stop the FORK from wrecking havoc on the SOLAR SYSTEM (and maybe the rest of the universe too, who knows).

Oh yeah we passed into CHAPTER 3 sometime during all this.

So some more stuff kept happening like the TRITOPUS and ROBOT had some interactions where we learned more about TRITOPUS culture and mating habits, and we even learned its name (G'KGLAHTULON).

The LEGS, being robotic and all, managed to sneak onto the FRIGATE fairly easily. This was thanks to the fact that almost 99% of the inhabitants on board were robotic. The LEGS played a COMMUNIST ANTHEM for the people of the FRIGATE in order to make the point that it was time to share. Share with the LEGS specifically. Or else.

The EMPRESS scared the LEGS out of her CONTROL ROOM. Once they were back outside they saw the commotion happening down below, on the deck (G'KGLAHTULON and the ROBOT fighting the EMPRESS' army) and decided to join in. Of course, the LEGS wanted the favor of the FRIGATE's crew, so they focused their assault on the TRITOPUS. The power of the FORK was no match for G'KGLAHTULON, who exploded and died.

The EMPRESS consulted her crew, the ROBOT was captured (after failing to rescue a toothless TRITOPUS strapped to the deck) and CHAPTER 3 ended. The LEGS flew away to go take over another ship. Using a FORKTECH they teleported to the SECOND-CLOSEST SPACE VESSEL which, in case you've forgotten (as the LEGS surely did) is just the ROBOT's SHIP.

While the ROBOT was being taken up to see the EMPRESS we met a couple of sweet and amazingly well-written characters, the TWINS. Their names are revealed to be Cinnamon Flim and Sam Flam, and they are lifelong prisoners of the EMPRESS, who they call their STEP-MOM. She had gifted them a CLOWN for their birthday, but of course this is a terrible gift because all children hate clowns. Using her prodigious powers of DEDUCTION, Cinnamon Flim sleuths out that the CLOWN is depowered, and in fact not a threat. With this revelation securely lodged between her brain folds she begins searching for her brother, who has been hiding from the CLOWN this entire time.

Meanwhile the ROBOT takes advantage of the mentally handicapped for its own personal gain. Its HEAD is then put into a machine by the EMPRESS. The machine is able to display and backup all the MEMORIES and DATA stored within a ROBOT. The EMPRESS plans to save all the information from this ROBOT, as she believes it to be stronger (and possibly smarter) than her own legions. Once that process is done she intends on reverse-engineering the superior BOUNTY HUNTING ROBOT and to use it's designs to build her new and improved robot legion.

Meanwhile the twins are just fucking around, eating cat food. The usual. The LEGS are going through an existential crisis around this time.

The EMPRESS began watching the BOUNTY HUNTING ROBOT's life from its moment of creation. This seems like a huge waste of time considering she could just get her legions to do it and report back with any useful intel they find but maybe she's just a curious person? In the ROBOT's memories we see a number of familiar items, and watch as a group of... Scientists? Engineers? Something like that, watch it complete basic tasks and simple puzzles as part of some sort of ROBOT TRAINING.

Some more stuff happens and the TWINS have a DANCE PARTY. Oh and I forgot to mention at some point it was revealed that the EMPRESS was out here on sort of a personal salvage operation, basically looting outer space for wayward treasures. Well it turns out the garbage she was looting this time was actually the ROBOT's SHIP. The LEGS who were on board at the time didn't take too kindly to this and tried to fight back, only to get knocked out into space and lose the FORK in the process. Luckily they managed to grab the TOY ROBOT (which was a thing from earlier don't worry about it) and began using its weak-ass, weak ass rocket to begin heading back towards the FRIGATE because god damn if these LEGS aren't the most dedicated SPACE PIRATES ever.

We also see during all this that a HORDE of TRITOPI are arriving to swarm the FRIGATE. Considering this is now the location where 2 have died in quick succession and one is still strapped down in constant confinement, I'd say their reaction is justified. We have yet to see the impact they've had on the FRIGATE, if any at all.

The ROBOT in the past messed around with the room puzzles, made a bunny friend, figured out warp pads, and powered up the TOYBOT for the first time. The kids enacted a poorly thought out plan to make their way down the GARBAGE CHUTE as a last ditch effort to escape their prison cell bedroom. This plan resulted in Sam Flam being dropped, as Cinnamon's lame knots came undone, and Sam fell beyond the reach of her senses, leaving her to believe he was dead.

Sam was not dead however, as he had successfully landed in the GARBAGE ROOM, a massive warehouse in the FRIGATE's HULL where all of the GARBAGE CHUTES lead. Sam drank the GARBAGE WATER in a misguided attempt to improve his stats, but unfortunately for him this is not a video game and he has been tripping out of his mind ever since. Despite this, he has somehow come into control of a crew of HOBO ROBOTS, also known as HOBOTS. They don't make sense and are not something a logical ruler would ever create, but this is a space boat piloted by a tarantula lady so hey HOBOTS it is.

Chapter 4 became Chapter 5 during all this.

The ROBOT in the past got mad at all the instruction its creators were giving it, because the ROBOT believes itself to be a PRO GAMER. Politely, the creators heed the ROBOTS request for respect and turned off the hint system. As expected the ROBOT has no fucking clue what to do now because it is the furthest thing in the universe from being a PRO GAMER. Case in point, immediately after this it drops its TOOLS in a pool of water and forces its ARM to undergo severe water damage in a failed attempt to recover them.

Next, Sam and Cinnamon had synchronized freak outs. Sam flipped back and forth between having a good trip and a bad trip, and Cinnamon believed she had just murdered her brother. After recovering slightly, Sam has since been able to prove himself to the HOBOTS and the last time we saw him he was preparing to lead them in a REBELLION against his wicked stepmother. Meanwhile, Cinnamon has been struggling to leave her room and go find her brother (alive, hopefully) but the absence of a SCREWDRIVER and the presence of a SPIDER have worked together to hinder her progress.

So yeah that's pretty much everything that's happened before, unless I forgot something or misremembered or just wrote it poorly and thus confused you. But such is life I guess. Sometimes you get a horrible tooth infection that prevents you from eating solid food for weeks at a time, sometimes you write a bad stream of consciousness recap that nobody reads despite explicitly asking for it because it's so long and poorly crafted.

BUT SUCH IS LIFE.

Okay now give me a command and I'll do the next panel.

>Legs, what are you up to?

Oh, you know, the usual. Just trying to blend in with these space monsters while looking as non-threatening as possible in the hopes they don't recognize you as a killer of their brethren so you can manipulate them into helping you enact your master plan for SPACE PIRACY.

The usual.

>Legs: Complete the task successfully.

Easier said than done. If you're going to take over this FRIGATE you'll need to make sure the TRITOPI don't outright destroy it. But you also need to make sure they don't get completely wiped out by the FRIGATE's forces... unless you can just figure out a way to take over that doesn't involve lovecraftian reinforcements.

Spoiler

Show

ROBOQUEST RETURNS JULY 1ST 2020 - CANADA DAY

Stay tuned.

[Mandy]

>Robot: Ladle all the water through the keyhole
>Cinnamon: The spider corpse is probably stuck to the back of the TV, just forget about it

[23toedbasket]

>Legs go underneath the sniper balcony give the camping bastards a sneaky kick to their guns THEN kick them in their motherboards. If you can, maybe even snag one of those sweet robobodies... yknow the ones holding the guns

>sam: THE FOURTH DOOR LEADS TO SALVAGE OPS

[1011686]

>Empress: what are you up to now?

[luigi]

>Robot: Ladle all the water through the keyhole

You begin scooping up water in the LADLE and slowly feeding it through the KEYHOLE. It's really awkward trying to get the right angle for it to go through without spilling back out on your side. That ARM is getting totally wrecked by the collateral damage.

This is going to take a while.

>Cinnamon: The spider corpse is probably stuck to the back of the TV, forget about it.

You wish you could just forget. If the corpse is stuck to the back of the TV you have to know. You have to be 100% certain that it's dead before you attempt to cross through its territory. You take a moment to commit to the act of checking behind the TV to confirm the kill...

>Next.

OH GOD OH FUCK IT'S A JUMPING SPIDER THIS WAS A BAD IDEA YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE STUCK YOUR FACE BEHIND THE TV

>Next.

After biting you, it scurries away down the garbage chute. Both of your arms immediately go numb.

This sucks!

>Legs: Go underneath the sniper balcony.

You fly your way underneath the balcony where you first snuck onto the big red ship a few hours ago. You are well hidden, and have a good view of the absolute carnage these bots are causing on the TRITOPUS protesters.

>Next.

SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKERS

>Legs: Give the camping bastards a sneaky kick to their guns.

You manage to kick away one of the guns, but the other guard shoots you right in the TOYBOT! The shot rips through the bit holding both legs together, and seperates them into two halves: the FOOTLESS LEG and the UNDAMAGED LEG.

>Next.

The TOYBOT is sent sailing over the railing, bounces off an invading TRITOPUS, and then sails back up through that massive tower window, piercing the tinted glass on its way inside.

>Next.

The TOYBOT flies into the EMERGENCY STOP button on the ELEVATOR.

>Empress: What are you up to now?

You are now the EMPRESS again. You were just on your way downstairs to see why one of your TWINS isn't in their cell, when all of a sudden your ELEVATOR stopped moving! You attempt to converse with it and ask what's wrong, but to no avail. After all, you do not speak ROBOTICS.

>Legs: Kick them in their motherboards.

Being the LEGS again, you attempt to get revenge on these awful bots for splitting you in half like that. You flop around on the balcony like a dead fish in your weak attempts to kick the bots. You accidentally trip the one that still has a gun and send it falling into the mouth of an angry TRITOPUS.

>Legs: Snag one of those sweet robobodies.

The two of you work together to overpower and subdue the remaining robot. You rip off its legs and install your own instead. The head of this robot is at risk of overpowering you for dominance of the body!

>Next.

You use all of your strength to control the robot and force it to pull off its head. You are now in complete control of this body - LEGS, TORSO, and ARMS. The head is too risky to keep around so you just drop it over the side of the railing.

Unfortunately this means the TRITOPI think you're an enemy now! You better act fast to prevent your destruction.

>THE FOURTH DOOR LEADS TO SALVAGE OPS.

FL-01: THE FOURTH DOOR LEADS TO SALVAGE OPS.
FLAM: Well obviously door number four is the door in store for our tour.
FL-02: BECAUSE YOU WISH TO. RECOVER TREASURE FROM. THE EMPRESS'. SALVAGE OPERATIONS?
FLAM: No.
FLAM: The number four is a cosmic sign.
FLAM: I have just now arbitrarily decided that symbolic numbers literally decide the course of our reality merely by existing at the same time as a notable event occuring.
FLAM: There is not a single thing in this entire reality that can't be explained by the sudden appearance of a magic number.
FL-03: I DO NOT. THINK THAT'S TRUE.
FLAM: Why wouldn't it be? The universe is alive and literally putting magic numbers in front of me so that I can accomplish its divine purpose.
FLAM: Coincidences don't exist, everything is pre-ordained by a higher power.
FLAM: Don't be so naive.
FL-03: I THINK YOU. AND I. HAVE DIFFERENT DEFINITIONS OF. NAIVE.
FLAM: Maybe.
FLAM: Anyways, door number four?
FLAM: ...wait, what's that? Is she throwing more stuff down?

>Next.

A spider falls from the chute and lands in the GARBAGE SWAMP. You are suddenly scared shitless.

Spoiler

Show

HAPPY CANADA DAY!!!

[BrobyDDark]

>Legs: Announce undying vendetta against Canada
Legs: >Gedda fuck outta there

[23toedbasket]

>Sam: four... four legs on each side of a spider. CINNAMON!

This has just become a revenge plot.

[Punchlion]

>Head: activate level five cranial tremor to escape

[Merlin]

Cinnamon: jump gown the chute, the spider may be down there but you will die when you hit the bottom anyway.
Robot: this is taking too long, use your malfunctioning arm as an extension on your working arm to get the tool box out of the water.

[luigi]

Legs: >Gedda fuck outta there

Yes, you should definitely gedda[sic] fuck outta[sic] here. Only question is, how? And where do you geddoo?

>Sam: Four... four legs on each side of a spider. CINNAMON!

The Empress has finally done it. She has completed her PROJECT, and like she always said she would, has turned Cinnamon into a terrifying monster.

>Sam: This has just become a revenge plot.

That awful TARANTULA LADY will pay for this. You pick up that SPEAR that's been laying in the background for a while now, and begin leading your LEGION to the SALVAGE OPS room. You will use whatever treasure you recover in there against the evil SPACE BITCH, and avenge your monstrified sister.

>Head: Activate level five cranial tremor to escape

You are now the head of the robot that the LEGS threw into the TRITOPUS. You attempt to escape your fate of eventual digestion by vibrating really hard inside the monster's gut. The monster seems to be reacting to your vibrations!

>Next.

Your vibrations speed up the bowels process and give the TRITOPUS mad diarrhea. The deck is now covered in MONSTER FECES, but hey at least you're still 'alive'.

Cinnamon: Jump down the chute.

Yeah, dying slowly to this spider venom is probably a worse way to go than jumping down the chute. And like, it already bit you so really the damage is done. Might as well just kill yourself and get it over with.

You hop down the chute...

>Next.

But your bowtie gets stuck on the door, and gets pulled taut. You are now suffocating AND dying of the poison. Is there no end to your suffering? Hopefully it doesn't take too long to die of asphyxiation...

This is taking too long

I agree.

Robot: Use your malfunctioning arm as an extension of your working arm to get the tool box out of the water.

After a few hours, you've only drained about 1/58th of the water from the pool. Your LEGS have started to act funny due to all the water damage they've been suffering from the spillage, but you're 99% certain that this will not matter in your future at all so you do nothing about it.

You desire a faster method of TOOLBOX retrieval, so you use your ARMS together to make one super long ARM. You successfully grasp the TOOLBOX!

>Next.

Unfortunately now both your arms are totally busted, and you are no closer to actually opening the TOOLBOX than you were a few hours ago. One step forward, one step back.

Spoiler

Show

>Legs: Announce undying vendetta against Canada

NEVER!!!

[BrobyDDark]

>Flim: Wiggle out of bowtie
>Tritopooper: Be super embarrassed
>Empress: Curse out elevator until something works

[23toedbasket]

>Head: Tritopus feces is famous for causing autonomous consciousness bugs in basic hardware like yourself.

[Merlin]

Cinnamon: if you cant easily wriggle out of the tie, just give up, this was your goal anyway. better hung in the chute than dead by spider venom.

Sam: murder any opposition you face. they turned your sister into a monster.

Robot: there is clearly someone behind that glass who is just watching you struggle. go bash your head against he glass till you bust through. then ask them kindly to repair your arms so you can figure a way out of here.