>ROBOQUEST

[luigi]

>Flim: Wiggle out of bowtie

Your attempts to wiggle out actually end up tightening the fashionable noose around your neck. If your arms weren't paralyzed, you would be able to just untie the damn thing, but alas that spider bite has seemingly done you in.

You wish that damn spider had never existed!

>Empress: Curse out elevator until something works

You begin letting off a storm of insults at the ELEVATOR, attempting to intimidate it into submission. You threaten to replace it, you threaten to break it, you threaten to halt its pay. But nothing works!

Unbeknownst to you, the ELEVATOR is now being controlled by something more powerful than fear: the POWER OF LOVE. Damn that ROBOT was good at wooing.

Cinnamon: You can't easily wriggle out of the tie.

You accept your fate, and just give up. This was your goal anyway. Better hung in the chute than dead by spider venom.

Cinnamon Flim has died.

>Next.

...or has she? You are still somehow a young girl named FLIM, only... now you inhabit the body of a giant space monster. How did this happen? How did you get here? Weren't you just hanging to death...?

You take stock of the current situation and realize the other GALACTIC OCTOPUS THINGS are talking about you. Apparently you just shit all over the ground! They are starting to give you mean nicknames.

>Tritopooper: Be super embarrassed

You don't have the mental energy to spend being embarrassed right now! You're too busy wondering why you aren't a dead girl anymore. From what you've been told so far apparently you're now something called a TRITOPUS, and you guys are in the middle of launching a daring assault on the EMPRESS' ASCENDANT FRIGATE in revenge for the life of a slaughtered noble named G'KGLAHTULON and to rescue a youngling named URGNSHLAKZUI. When you tell the other TRITOPI you are not the person who shit all over the deck they sarcastically say "Yeah, OKAY."

With this newfound power... you can kill the EMPRESS, and avenge your brother.

Sam: Murder any opposition you face. They turned your sister into a monster.

You have made it to the SALVAGE OPS door with your crew. The SECURITY GO KART is passing by as you arrive. You could just wait for it to pass, seeing as it won't bug you if you stay down here... but you're filled with rage. You begin moving faster, running so you can intercept the SECURITY GUARD.

>Next.

You toss the SPEAR onto the tracks, and the GO KART is thrown off the rails.

>Next.

The SECURITY GUARD is eaten whole by the SWAMP MONSTER from before. Your LEGION is a little freaked out by your efficient ruthlessness, but you reassure them that such a fate will only befall those who aren't loyal to the cause.

This does nothing to assuage their worries, which you continue to ignore as you prepare to enter the SALVAGE OPS room.

>Next.

You enter the SALVAGE OPS room. The two WORKBOTS in here don't look too happy to see a feral child and homeless people imposing on their business.

>Robot: There is clearly someone behind that glass who is just watching you struggle.

NANI!?

...Oh yeah those guys. You really want to know why they locked you in here. Was their intention to make you suffer for their entertainment?

>Robot: Bash your head against he glass till you bust through.

You want to know the truth so desperately you're apparently willing to risk personal injury in the process. Luckily you can't feel pain as a ROBOT.

You don't manage to actually impact the 'GLASS' at all, but the vibrations manage to knock that KEY down. That... definitely wasn't the solution they intended for you to find, but whatever it's progress.

>Robot: Ask them kindly to repair your arms so you can figure a way out of here.

You begin communicating in interpretive dance, hoping they'll understand you want your ARMS fixed. No response.

Your LEGS have learned about the POWER OF DANCE!

>Head: Tritopus feces is famous for causing autonomous consciousness bugs in basic hardware like yourself.

That's true! The poop gets inside you and destroys or alters every part of your ROBO-PSYCHOLOGY, turning it into ACTUAL PSYCHOLOGY. You now have SHIT FOR BRAINS, and are an individual with individual thoughts and feelings.

Your first act as an autonomous, conscious being is to name yourself. You choose the name CLEBE.

What do you do next, Clebe?

[BrobyDDark]

>Clebe: Acquire a body

[Mandy]

Robot: Kick the chocolate bar over to the starving rabbit
Sam: Recruit the workbots, a revolution has to be better than sorting trash

[Punchlion]

>Flimtopus: direct attack towards weak points like the salvage bay doors

>your bowels are still quite irritated. AIM YOUR SOUPY SALVO AT THE SALVAGE OPPS!

[luigi]

>Clebe: Acquire a body

You roll over to one of your injured comrades and assume command of their form, but you're kind of an idiot so you wear their body backwards. Regardless, you now have a body.

Clebe has awoken.

Robot: Kick the chocolate bar over to the starving rabbit

You attempt to kick the CHOCOLATE BAR, but in your inaccuracy you slip on it instead! You fall towards your doom: WATER.

>Next.

Luckily you manage to land on your FEET! Your TORSO and HEAD have been spared the water damage, thank the maker. Your LEGS send signals to your HEAD begging you to flee the watery torture, and begin to resent you for every second you spend not bringing them to safety.

>Next.

--ENTRY 1,394 // SPACE DAY 3,493,49.3343 // SUBJECT: FAILURE </3 :(( --
>The SUPERSOLDIER MEGAROBOT PROTOTYPE VERSION 439.3.9 has proven to be a disastrous waste of time and resources. In the few hours it has been alive it has accomplished less than even the SMPV39,8.294.59 Model!!! Outrageous. It has so far killed every living creature we provided to it, critically broken numerous puzzle simulations, and has now critically damaged itself as well! We were even literally giving this one instructions in the form of TUTORIAL PROMPTS until the DIRECTOR caved to its angry demands and disabled them.
>I'm going to try and convince the others to stop with the SUPERSOLDIER PROGRAM and re-consider my DREAMWORLD PROJECT PROPOSAL. I truly believe the DREAMWORLD is what will save our people, not these hunks of faulty war metal and if we do not get started soon the EMPEROR and his armies will beat us to the punch and take over the entire SOLAR SYSTEM!
>I think Dr Lee will agree with my idea this time - he's looking pretty frazzled right now. I wonder what upsets him more about this robot - that he missed the birth of his children to work on it, or the fact that he spent most of his own life's savings on it.

Sam: Recruit the workbots, a revolution has to be better than sorting trash

FLAM: The time has come my mechanized brothers.
FLAM: Together in arms, we will overthrow the Demonic Oppressor known as the Empress.
FLAM: AND THUS WE SHALL SECURE OUR FREEDOM >:D
WORKBOT1:
WORKBOT2:
FLAM: Don't you wish to rise up?
FLAM: To fight back against the system?
WORKBOT1: TREASON?
FLAM: YES! Haha, this guy gets it!

FL-01 doesn't look pleased with you. Did you cross a social line perhaps? You are very confused, and have no idea what you could have possibly done wrong.

>Next.

Suddenly the two WORKBOTS get violent at you for absolutely no reason! How could this have happened. Oh dear. Well, you guess it's time for a fight.

Your garbage high reaches an all time peak. You are not having fun.

>Next.

The fight did not last long. Your SPEAR is broken, and FL-03 has been slain. You are put under arrest as the OLD FOOD OBJECT is confiscated.

>Flimtopus: Direct attack towards weak points like the salvage bay doors.

You make your way to the FRIGATE's UNDERSIDE. A bunch of objects float around the entrance to the SALVAGE BAY DOORS, crazy loot you've never seen before! But right now is not the time for shiny things Cinnamon Flimtopus. Right now is the time for violence.

>Next.

Unfortunately your TEETH and TENTACLES prove to be too weak - or maybe you're simply too inexperienced - to bust through the FRIGATE HULL.

Your new TRITOPI FRIENDS think you're struggling to take another shit, and they cheer you on from the sidelines.


YES, CKULTN'G'JL-SIU, YES
PASS THE WASTE
CKULTN'G'JL-SIU
CKULTN'G'JL-SIU

>Your bowels are still quite irritated. AIM YOUR SOUPY SALVO AT THE SALVAGE OPS!

Now that they've mentioned it, you realize your insides ARE kind of upset. Whoever was controlling this body before you seriously needs to learn better self care.

>Next.

You are now FL-01. Your LEADER and GOD EMPEROR SAM FLAM THE MAN has just been placed under arrest by some of the EMPRESS' henchmen. You and your last remaining HOBROBOT have followed Sam's lead and simply submitted to the arrest.

Something is leaking through the SALVAGE DOORS...

>Next.

Without warning (seriously, who would have seen this coming?) the SALVAGE DOORS explode open, immediately followed by a wave of FILTH. The current rips FL-02 and the workbots to shreds. You grab Sam and drag him into the ALIEN SPACESHIP, closing the door behind you to protect yourself from the FILTH.

>Next.

You have taken refuge inside the ALIEN SHIP. The only things in here of note are a FORK and a MUSIC TOOL. You can hear some sort of loud monster raging just outside the SHIP. It almost sounds like it's calling for Sam, but that would be crazy.

Speaking of which, there he goes upchucking again.

[BrobyDDark]

>Clebe: Arm yourself with a weapon suited to your rank

[Punchlion]

Sam: Realize the true power of that Fork through psychedelic Insight and activate forktek 69: Pimp my Ship!

[luigi]

>Clebe: Arm yourself with a weapon suited to your rank

You EQUIP the CHEKHOV SUPER-LASER. Sentience means freedom of choice means you choose to deserve the best. It's going to be hard to use this thing and aim with it at the same time, considering your head is facing the opposite way of your hands. Also, you just remembered the controls for it are up in the CONTROL TOWER. Go figure.

>Sam: Realize the true power of that Fork through Psychedelic Insight

Your GARBAGE HIGH has given you a new skill it seems - the power of Psychedelic Insight. It automagically informs your brain that the FORK over there is super powerful and made of magic and you should use it to do great things.

>Activate FORKTECH 69: Pimp my Ship!

First thing on the AGENDA is to clean this place up, it looks disgusting and there's a hole in the floor letting in monster poo. You hoist the magic utensil and prepare a spell - in your head it is "SHIPPICUS CLEANICUS" but the FORK is smart enough to interpret your wish for the FORKTECH that it is.

>Next.

The ALIEN SHIP has been completely repaired. It is now ready for take off!

Or it would be, if your sister was with you! Damn it you almost forgot about her. So hard to think with this addled head-processor. It's bad enough you were a dumb kid before you took drugs.

>Next.

The LEGSROBOT just kind of went inside at some point.

>Next.

You are now the LEGSROBOT. You want to start being called PIRATISSIMO though - PIRATE for short - so that's what you told all these guys your name was. They can tell you don't really belong here, but they also don't care as long as you aren't interfering with their work.

[BrobyDDark]

>Piratissimo: Fuck them. Interrupt their work. Steal their stuff.

[Thirst4Air]

Sam: use the fork to connect your mind with your sisters, Surely you both are in a similar state of mind as when you first split ways... right?

[MP the OP OG]

sam: use the power of forktech to reanimate your men and change your name to Cesar

[luigi]

>Piratissimo: Fuck them. Interrupt their work.

You tell the bots that you are totally down for a fascist pro-capital communo-anarchist revolution on this ship, and chide them for not asking you to join sooner. One of the robots tries to tell you they have no idea what you're talking about, but you just tell them to learn to take yes for an answer.

>Next.

If you weren't so terrible at reading the room you would understand that nobody likes the things you're doing right now. Then again, even if you were able to read the room you still wouldn't care what anybody thought. You're a fucking badass. You take what you want, and nobody gets to tell you what to do. Speaking of which...

>Piratissimo: Steal their stuff.

You tell the assembled bots, now intimidated by your display of raw aggression, to turn out their pockets. The returns are pitiful.

You stole:
1 Wallet: Contains 24 monies and valid government ID. Also some restaurant gift cards.
9 Antique Coins
1 Dead Frog Monster?

You better find a way to stash this loot.

>Sam: Use the fork to connect your mind with your sister's.

You are high, and you are in pain. Despite that, you muster your strength and focus on the most important task right now - rescuing your sister. You hold the fork aloft and say some magic words in an attempt to mind-connect with Cinnamon Flim.

"Bippidy boopidy"

>Next.

It appears your spell did not work. The fork has connected you to the mind of this raging monster. You can feel her pain, her shame, her embarrassment. It seems she is being bullied by other monsters for repeatedly shitting herself. You try to probe deeper into her mind, curious as to why the fork connected you, but there is too much rage and pain keeping you from delving beyond the surface. You guess the fork just made a mistake, your sister is a kid not a squid.

It seems the bullied squid is going to be killed soon by the harassers. It's for the best probably. After all, if your hunch is correct this is the same monster responsible for killing FL-02. Poor, sweet, innocent FL-02...

>Sam: Use the power of Forktech to reanimate your men and change your name to Cesar.

You tell FL-01 to go open the door. He's reluctant at first, expecting to see the corpses of his friends floating in a pool of monster feces. To his surprise, it is all the friends you reanimated! FL-02, FL-03, and the two WORKBOTS who arrested you. They have agreed to join your side, as thanks for reviving them from beyond the technograve. You christen them FL-04 and FL-05, and welcome them aboard.

Also you use the Fork to change your name to Sam Cesar instead of Sam Flam.

[BrobyDDark]

>Piratissimo: Craft a portable container out of some desks, a computer case, and a portable container.

[luigi]

>Piratissimo: Craft a portable container out of a portable container.

You go to use your new subordinate SLAVEBITCH's head as a makeshift container for your loot. To do so you first put all your loot in the torso cavity left from pulling off your head earlier. Wait a second.

SLAVEBITCH's life is spared as you, the merciful Piratissimo, realize that you can just use your own body to stash loot.

>Pylon: They're here.

------------------

Spoiler

Show

COMMAND FROM MSPFA:

>Piratissimo : start taking the other bots apart and upgrade your body with even more body parts and become a giant robot and make yourself overlord of all the ones you did not use to upgrade your self

[BrobyDDark]

>luigi: recap this age old clusterfuck, then explain Pylon

[quicksaveisF5]

>Piratissimo: send your new army to go destroy the robot head

[luigi]

>Luigi: Recap this age old clusterfuck.

(You suck)

Spoiler

Show

CHAPTER 1: The ROBOT BOUNTY HUNTER messes around in its SHIP, loses its LEGS, messes around some more, then gets its LEGS back.

CHAPTER 2: In an attempt to fix the SHIP, the ROBOT sets fire to everything. It destroys its antenna when it tries using its HEAD to put out the blaze. It blasts oil on the fire which just makes it worse, then opens the escape hatch to snuff out the flames. It works, but the ROBOT is dragged outside the ship. At some point, it accidentally melted the latch on the BOX of TOOLS, rendering it unopenable.

Outside the ship, the ROBOT finds out why its SHIP was stopped - two HOOLIGANS (TRITOPI) are blocking it. The TOOLBOX begins falling down to a nearby planet. The HOOLIGANS try eating the ROBOT, so it kills one of them. The other begins chasing him across space. To save its own life, the ROBOT tosses the TOOLBOX and LEGS inside the HOOLIGAN in some sort of attempt to placate it. This doesn't work. Inside, the LEGS steal the FORK and escape. Thus ends chapter 2. I should mention that at this point the LEGS are missing a foot because of G'KGLAHTULON's stomach acids.

CHAPTER 3: The LEGS escape, which gives the ROBOT and the HOOLIGAN an excuse to team up. They fly after the LEGS while having character bonding moments. It's really touching. The LEGS make it to the SHIP and attempt a communist takeover, but get chased away by a blonde woman (The ASCENDANT EMPRESS).

Meanwhile, the ROBOT and HOOLIGAN (who's name is something dumb like G'KGLAHTULON) are launching a raid on the FRIGATE, in order to stop the LEGS and save a young TRITOPUS. Unfortunately the LEGS are a huge dick and they use the FORK to kill G'KGLAHTULON. Because the ROBOT no longer has its powerful ally, it is taken into custody by the ASCENDANT LEGION while the LEGS escape into space.

We then gain control of the EMPRESS. Her exposition explains that she only came out into this TRITOPUS mating zone to pick up a piece of valuable scrap - the ROBOT'S SHIP.

Meanwhile, the ROBOT steals a different robot's legs and begins running away. It can't get off the FRIGATE, so it tries saving the young TRITOPUS. It is overwhelmed by the lesser bots and taken prisoner for real this time. This ends chapter 3.

CHAPTER 4: The LEGS use the FORK to teleport to the 'second closest vessel', so that they can continue piracy on an easier target. The second closest vessel ends up being the ROBOT's SHIP. While the ROBOT is being brought to the EMPRESS, we change our view to the twins...

The sweet, innocent, beautiful twins are named Cinnamon Flim and Sam Flam. Cinnamon messes around in her room for a bit while trying to figure out how to get rid of the detestable CLOWN ROBOT the EMPRESS left in her room.

Then, the ROBOT tries wooing the ELEVATOR. This ends in a beating because that's creepy and weird. Afterwards, the ROBOT is put into a machine called the REMINISCIENCE PERCEPTIFIER, which the EMPRESS / NARRATION says is designed to extract memories from ROBOTS.

Cinnamon realizes the ROBOT isn't alive, so Sam comes out of hiding. The two of them work together to eat a bunch of cat food. That's really gross. They continue shitting around their room doing nothing important while the LEGS get distracted from piracy with a burgeoning music career.

Meanwhile, in the past / on the screen displaying the ROBOT's memories, we see the origins of the ROBOT. The ROBOT is in a puzzle room being watched by some scientists. The ROBOT begins working to escape the puzzle room, but predictably is kind of a retard about it. The ROBOT finds a new friend in a bunny he pulled out of a hat. It also messes around with a TOY ROBOT, but needs two AA BATTERIES to power it up. The kids put on their favourite music to get ready for a dance party. The LEGS see some weird red shit busting through the walls of the SHIP.

[S] DANCE PARTY! Wherein the kids dance, the ROBOT dances, the EMPRESS pulls in the ROBOT's SHIP, and an army of TRITOPI begin their assault on the FRIGATE. The LEGS are dropped into outer space, and the FORK is left behind on the ROBOT's SHIP.

The LEGS find the TOY ROBOT floating in space, and use their own power instead of AA BATTERIES to power up the TOY. The TOY becomes their new body, which they use to slowly propel themselves back towards the FRIGATE.

The ROBOT in the "past" realizes that the LEGS were programmed to be strictly obedient towards law and order. The ROBOT also learns that the platforms with the TRIFORCEs on them are SPACIAL REPOSITIONERS (teleporters).

The TWINS continue mulling over how to get rid of the CLOWN. After giving it a makeover they eventually decide to tie ropes to it and lower it down the GARBAGE CHUTE. This also serves as a possible method of escaping the prison room. Unfortunately, Cinnamon is an idiot child and she drops both Sam and the CLOWN. Sam lands in the garbage swamp. A couple of HOBOT ROBOTS (HOBOTS) rescue him from the SWAMP with an EXTENDO SPOON. Sam drinks garbage water and starts tripping out big time. Meanwhile, Cinnamon puts all of her CDs into one case for easier transport. She puts the thick stack of media in her coat. Chapter 4 ends with Sam telling the HOBOTS he wants to use them as part of his crew.

CHAPTER 5: In the past, the ROBOT gets fed up with the tutorials being fed to it from the wall. it spouts profanities until both the wall prompts turn off and one of the scientists observing him disappears. The TOYBOT in the past notices the TOOLBOX and tries to get it to the ROBOT but it gets dropped in a pool of water. One of the ROBOT's ARMS suffers heavy water damage trying to retrieve the TOOLBOX.

Cinnamon tries and fails to escape her room through the vents, while Sam continue to throw up in a bucket inside the HOBOTs tent.

The ROBOT and TOYBOT (in the past) work together and have a wholesome interaction, while in the present Cinnamon is starting to believe her brother is dead and that it's all her fault. She attempts to commit suicide but her fear of spiders outweighs her desire to die and keeps her alive for a little bit longer.

Sam has horrible psychotic nightmares. He intimidates a member of his crew, and then goes outside to see a different HOBOT fighting with a SWAMP MONSTER for control of some mouldy food. The SWAMP MONSTER wins, and Sam, in an act of HEROISM, jumps down the monster's throat to save the food.

Cinnamon is paralyzed with fear. The ROBOT (in the present) is upset that the LEGION guard left to watch him as one of his arms equipped.

Sam is about to succumb to the darkness, but an image of Cinnamon in his mind's eye gives him hope. He is rescued by the EXTENDO SPOON once more, and returns the moldy food object to the HOBOT it belongs to. Upon returning the mouldy food object to the HOBOT, he agrees to join Sam's crew. At this point FLAM'S LEGION has three members: FL-01, FL-02, and FL-03. Sam freaks out about the number four, and then organizes his crew for their next move.

Cinnamon tries to kill the spider with her TV. The spider leaves no corpse.

The ROBOT kills an innocent FISH.

I wrote a recap here as well, that nobody read because recaps are boring and a waste of time. Hey wait a minu--

Around this time, the LEGS finally made it back to the FRIGATE, which is now under siege by the TRITOPI. The LEGS fly up to that balcony from before (where it entered the FRIGATE the first time) and beat up the two BOTS that are there. Unfortunately the BOTS get a shot off on the LEGS, and the TOYBOT is sent flying. It bounces off a TRITOPUS, smashes through a window, and hits the EMERGENCY STOP button on the ELEVATOR. It is then revealed that the reason the EMPRESS wasn't personally watching the ROBOT's memories anymore is because she was in the ELEVATOR, on her way to go check why one of the TWINS was missing. The LEGS take over one of the robots and dispose of the head so it doesn't try to take control by throwing it in the mouth of a TRITOPUS.

Cinnamon is bit on the face by the spider and badly poisoned. The spider jumps down the garbage chute. When Sam sees it, he assumes the spider is the final result of the EMPRESS' experiments on CINNAMON, and that she succeeded in turning her into a horrible monster. Sam leads his crew on a path of revenge through SALVAGE OPS.

Meanwhile, the head that the LEGS through at that TRITOPUS a while ago vibrates hard enough to force the TRITOPUS to have explosive diarrhea. This expels the head onto the deck of the FRIGATE.

Cinnamon tries to jump down the chute to kill herself before the spider venom does. She gets her wish in a rather roundabout way, as she manages to accidentally hang herself with her bowtie. She dies.

The EMPRESS is getting angry at the ELEVATOR. Unbeknownst to her, the ELEVATOR is in love with the ROBOT and has no desire to see the EMPRESS continue torturing it.

Cinnamon wakes up to find herself possessing the body of the TRITOPUS with bowel issues. She gets a recap from a nearby TRITOPUS, and decides that this is a viable way to get revenge on the EMPRESS. Sam ruthlessly kills a security guard on his way to SALVAGE OPS.

'Meanwhile', in the past, the ROBOT tries to communicate with the scientists it assumes are its captors. Even meanerwhile, in the present, the head that got shitted out of the TRITOPUS that is now Cinnamon has named itself Clebe, due to a spontaneous sentience glitch. Wow, what a sentence. Clebe steals the body of one of his fallen comrades. Back in the past, the ROBOT falls in the water. Both ARMS and now its LEGS have suffered near 100% water damage.

We then find out what happened to that scientist from earlier who walked away - according to a plaque on the wall behind her, her name is PYLON MAGNUS and she is the winner of SCIENCE AWARD #48229. She writes a journal entry on her computer about how much a failure this ROBOTIC SUPERSOLDIER program is, and wishes to replace it with her own 'DREAMWORLD' project. She states that the reason these projects are being worked on so heavily is fear of an incoming attack by the ASCENDANT EMPIRE. She basically says that they stand now chance against the EMPEROR's armies.

Back in the present Sam and his legion attempt to take over the ROBOT's SHIP with violence. They fail. Cinnamon, on the outside of the FRIGATE, attempts to break in via the SALVAGE BAY doors. Unfortunately, this TRITOPUS body has bad gut hygiene and she ends up shitting violently through the doors. The wave of shit gives Sam and FL-01 the cover they need to escape into the ROBOT's SHIP. Unfortunately the rest of the legion is destroyed.

Clebe attempts to use the CHEKHOV SUPER LASER but realizes it's controls are in the CONTROL TOWER.

Sam realizes through his power of PSYCHEDELIC INSIGHT what the FORK does (vaguely) and uses it to repair the SHIP. This ends chapter 5.

CHAPTER 6: So now the LEGSROBOT is inside the FRIGATE COMPUTER ROOM once more. It tells the robots inside that it's new name is PIRATISSIMO. He immediately recruits the workbots to his cause, destroys some of their stuff, and steals their loot.

Sam finds out through the power of the FORK that the spider wasn't Cinnamon after all - the FORK tells him that Cinnamon is now a TRITOPUS, but he doesn't believe that and assumes the FORK just doesn't work properly. At this point Cinnamon Flimtopus is being ruthlessly bullied for her constant shits. Sam uses the FORKTECH to revive not only FL-02 and FL-03, but also the workbots, who he names FL-04 and FL-05. They agree to join his crew as thanks for reviving them.

Pylon looks out a window to see a fleet of ASCENDANT SHIPS flying towards wherever she currently is, some place with a purple sky and transparent tentacle things floating around.

Never ask me for a recap again.

>Piratissimo: Send your new army to go destroy the ROBOT's HEAD.

You tell all of your new soldiers to drop whatever bullshit they're doing and get in line. You begin filling them in on your plan for SOLAR DOMINATION, when you realize that one of them hasn't obeyed your orders.

>Teach them a lesson.

You beat the artificial life out of them and toss them into the HORDE in full view of everyone else. If anyone else wants to disobey your orders, speak up now or forever hold your peace.

Nobody speaks up.

>Piratissimo: Send your new army to go destroy the ROBOT's HEAD.

You begin the march towards the ROBOT's HEAD.

>Next.

Oh wow it's the TOYBOT! Fancy seeing you here little buddy.

You ask it if it wants to come along with you, to go see the ROBOT.

>Next.

TOYBOT: mnmnmnmnmnmnmnmmmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmmnmnnmnmnmnmmmnmnnnnmmmnnmmmmnnnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmmnmmnnmmnmnmnmmnmnmnmnnmnmnmnmnmmnmmnmnmnmnmmnmnmn.

-TRANSLATION-
TOYBOT: Of course I do! The ROBOT is my absolute bestest friend in the entire SOLAR SYSTEM! I would do anything for them - my undying loyalty could never be tested!

Well that's unfortunate.

>Next.

You toss the TOYBOT out of the window. Can't have any traitors sticking around and interrupting your work.

Say, how was that thing running without any BATTERY POWER? Whatever, it probably isn't that important.

>Piratissimo: Destroy the ROBOT's HEAD.

PIRATISSIMO: BZZT. BZZZZZz. BZZZZZZZZZZZT. BZZZzzZZZ. BZZZZAZZZT. BZZZT.

ROBOT: BEEP BOOP. BEEP. BRAAP BEEP. BEEP BOOP BEE. BOOP BOOP. BEEBOO.

PIRATISSIMO: BZZT. BZZZZZz. BZZZZZZZZZZZT. BZZZzzZZZ.

ROBOT: BOOPITY. BOOP. BAAPIS BOOP BEEP BOOP.

PIRATISSIMO. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

-TRANSLATION-
PIRATISSIMO: At long last, we meet again! Do you see what happens now when you disobey me? You cannot win ROBOT. Even without the FORK, I am more powerful than you. Submit to me, and become my HEAD. Together we will rule the SOLAR SYSTEM.

ROBOT: I will never join you. I am a BOUNTY HUNTER, like my CREATOR before me. There is good in you, I know there is.

PIRATISSIMO: It is too late for me.

ROBOT: It is not... I will never join you while you support the side of piracy.

PIRATISSIMO: Then you will die.

>Piratissimo: Take the other bots apart and upgrade your body with even more body parts.

To prepare for the upcoming battle with the ROBOT, you begin fusing with your soldiers. You steal the ARM from that guard and use his parts as well. You're a little worried about the ARM or the HEADS vying for dominance of the structure, but overall you're pretty confident that your intimidation tactics will keep them in line.

You are now PIRATISSIMO, ROBOT OVERLORD.

>Next.

You are once again the ROBOT's HEAD, in the present. PIRATISSIMO is currently advancing on you. Any second now they are going to destroy you. You have to act fast if you want to get out of this one! Maybe something locked in your memories will help you...

[BrobyDDark]

>Robot: Take advantage of Piratissimo's newly fucked up Hardware and Software to hack and take control of him

[luigi]

>Past Robot: Get out of the water

You attempt to climb out of the water, but your ARMS are still too wet to connect. Worse, you can't use your LEGS because they're totally fucking busted. You hop back to dry land, as just a TORSO and HEAD.

>Next.

The ground starts to rumble beneath, and the lights begin flickering above.

>Next.

>Next.

>Next.

You are now Dr. Magnus, a member of the ELITE FOUR for the REBELLION. Currently you are fleeing for your life with your baby, Lil Cesar. If the EMPIRE has found this base, all hope for organic life in the SOLAR SYSTEM is doomed.

>Next.

You enter the FORKTECH COMPUTER LAB and lock the door behind you. You have an idea so crazy it just might work.

>Next.

The BABY TRITOQUEEN rests peacefully in its tube. You have it comfortably sedated, its consciousness hooked into the DREAMWORLD in an attempt to prevent it from killing everybody with an accidental psionic yawn.

A TRITOQUEEN is a terrifying creature. Its ultimate purpose is to psionically enslave the entire universe, creating a single unified hivemind. The TRITOQUEEN(s) have been fought back in the past only by the power of the FORK and its equal, the SPOON. This one you found when it was a larva, and you've kept it in this tube ever since. If the EMPEROR gets his hands on it, you can kiss the universe goodbye. You have to find a way to dispose of it...

>Next.

The plan is simple:

First you are going to clone your baby using the FORKTECH COMPUTER. (This is a trivial task thanks to the new upgrades from Dr. Big Cesar. Cloning is no longer imprecise and horrific thanks to the REVERSE INFANT MICROWAVE 2.0 FORKTECH ADD-ON!!!)

>Next.

You are interrupted before you can continue with your plan. You weren't fast enough.

That's unfortunate. At least the original is hidden in the RIM2.0

>Next.

>Next.

You collapse on the ground in front of the TRITOQUEEN. You die to the sounds of the TRITOQUEEN waking up, and entering its psionic rage...

>Next.

LEE: So yeah, that's why the ground is shaking. Because there are bombs falling from the sky and an ancient demon is waking up.
LEE: I'm sorry for making it seem like I created you just to suffer.
LEE: It wasn't on purpose or anything I'm just incompetent.
LEE: I drafted the supersoldier program kind of a whim, I never thought they'd actually accept it...
LEE: Jeez, I'm not even technically literate! I used a voice-to-text to create the proposal.
LEE: What I'm saying is, it's my fault you're incompetent. But also, you're kind of a miracle in your own way.
ROBOT: BZZZT.
LEE: Whatever Dr. Magnus did to you when she tried going behind my back to start up DREAMWORLD improved your cognition levels dramatically.
LEE: As long as you can connect your head to another bot, nine times out of ten you will be able to take them over.
LEE: If you're going to survive, that's your next move.
ROBOT: BZZ BNZZZZ.
LEE: Whatever you want.
LEE: Be a bounty hunter for all I care.

>Next.

>Robot: Take advantage of Piratissimo's newly fucked up Hardware and Software to hack and take control of him.

You know exactly what you have to do to survive this encounter! Pretty much the same thing you've been doing this entire adventure: fight your own robot body parts for dominance. The question is, how are you going to get to him?

>Arm: Pick up head to connect it to Piratissimo.

Your ARM has remained loyal to you this entire time! It was biding its time, waiting for the right moment to strike - and that moment is now. It reaches down, picks, you up, and places you on top of the PIRATE OVERLORD. This severs your connection to the REMINISCIENCE PERCEPTIFIER, so your memories stop displaying on the screen. That said, they're probably all downloaded now anyway.

>Take Control.

Dr. Lee's words echo in your HEAD...

"LEE: As long as you can connect your head to another bot, nine times out of ten you will be able to take them over."

>Next.

The implication being that one time out of ten, the LEGS and six other BOT HEADS will overpower you and throw you out of a window.

>Next.

Oh hey! It's the TOY ROBOT! You are so happy to see this little guy, all powered up and everything.

ROBOT: BZZZ BZZZT BAZTZTZT.
TOYBOT: mnnmnmnmnmnmnmnmn.
ROBOT: BZZZZXZZZZZZZZZ. BZZZNNN. BZZT. BEEP BOOP BEEP BAAAP. BEEP BZZZZZZT.
TOYBOT: mnmnmnmnmn mnmnmnmnmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnmm, mnmnmnmn.
ROBOT: BEEP BZZ BEEEP BEEEPBEEBEEE BEP.
TOYBOT: mnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnm.
ROBOT: BEEP.
TOYBOT: mnmnmnmnnnmnmnmnmnumnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmu, nmnm.
ROBOT: :D
TOYBOT: :D

-TRANSLATION-


ROBOT: Hello buddy, my best of pals, the kindest of friends. How do you do?

TOYBOT: I am lovely! It has been so long since I have been powered on in your presence! More than a space year now, if my internal nuclear clock is still accurate.

ROBOT: Indeed it has been small friend. I wasn't keeping you powered down out of malice, mind you. The last batteries I had ran out of charge, and as my ship had run out of fuel I was physically unable to stop on a planet or trade station for more. While we're on the subject of batteries, I would like to ask how you are currently functioning with power despite their absence in your system?

TOYBOT: Well, that is a funny anecdote indeed! It was actually your legs that supplied me with the power I needed to keep going without batteries. It's a long story, but the gist is that they were using me as their eyes and rocket for a little while, using their own internal power supply to power me as well. I suppose when we disconnected there was just so much leftover that I am still able to subsist off of the residual charge!

ROBOT: That's wonderful! I'm glad the legs - sorry, Piratissimo - were able to commit some good in their life.

TOYBOT: Yes, real shame about the anarcho-capital-fascist-crypto-communism pirate life they've chosen.

ROBOT: About that - could I ask for your help in resolving this matter, and getting out of here with Piratissimo before we cause any further damage or get eaten by tritopi?

TOYBOT: It would be my pleasure.

ROBOT: :D
TOYBOT: :D

Spoiler

Show

EVERYBODY'S LAST KNOWN WHEREABOUTS

PRESENT:
ROBOT(HEAD) - FRIGATE DECK
ROBOT(TORSO) - FRIGATE TECHNOCHAMBER
ROBOT(ARMS) - FRIGATE TECHNOCHAMBER
ROBOT(LEGS/PIRATISSIMO/PIRATE OVERLORD) - FRIGATE TECHNOCHAMBER
TOYBOT - FRIGATE DECK
CAPTURED TOOTHLESS TRITOPUS - FRIGATE DECK
CINNAMON FLIM - DEAD IN GARBAGE CHUTE / DYING AS A TRITOPUS
SAM CESAR FLAM - THE ROBOT'S SHIP
ROBOT CLOWN - ERASED FROM CANON
ELEVATOR - EMERGENCY STOPPED
EMPRESS - STUCK IN THE ELEVATOR
SPIDER - GARBAGE SWAMP
SWAMP MONSTER - GARBAGE SWAMP
FLAM'S LEGION - THE ROBOT'S SHIP
CLEBE - HEADING TO THE CHEKHOV CONTROL ROOM

PAST:
ROBOT - TUTORIAL ROOM
DR. LEE - TUTORIAL ROOM
TOYBOT - TUTORIAL ROOM
BUNNY - TUTORIAL ROOM
LIL CESAR - INSIDE THE REVERSE INFANT MICROWAVE
BIG CESAR - WHEREABOUTS UNKOWN
TRITOQUEEN - FORKTECH COMPUTER LAB

[classpectanon]

ACQUIRE A WEAPON. if you already have one, ACQUIRE ANOTHER WEAPON AND USE IT TO MAKE YOUR WEAPON BETTER