>ROBOQUEST

[1011686]

Toybot: nudge one of the many robot corpses over to the head so he can take it over.

[BrobyDDark]

>Clown Robot: Float around in the endless void of the non-canon

>Clebe: Enter Chekhov Control Tower

[luigi]

>Commands from MSPFA (and I quote):
>piratissimo: rip the traitoris arm off your glorious body as heat from your rage starts melting all the pieces of your body into on super-powerful form (witch looks like a metal sonic ripoff)
>_

[luigi]

Toybot: Nudge one of the many robot corpses over to the HEAD so it can take over.

You are too small and weak to move an entire body towards the HEAD, so instead you do the opposite and push it to a body.

>Next.

It feels like it’s been forever since you had bodily autonomy! What do you do first with this newfound mobility?

>ACQUIRE a WEAPON.

You EQUIP the SOLDIER’S ARM.

>Use your WEAPON to make your WEAPON better.

You use the ARM to pick up the PROD.

WEAPONRY BEGETS WEAPONRY.

>Clown Robot: Float around in the endless void of the non-canon.

There is nothing.

You are no one.

>Clebe: Enter Chekhov Control Tower

You push the button to summon the elevator, cross your arms in front of (behind) you, and impatiently wait for the elevator to come down.

>Next.

Oh shit! Why is she here!? She looks pissed off…

>Next.

As soon as the EMPRESS notices you, she calms down and regains her decorum. She asks for a status update, and you tell her the entire ship is being consumed piece by piece by an angry mob of TRITOPI. You tell her you were just on your way to activate the CHEKHOV SUPERLASER, and she promotes you for your initiative.

>Next.

As the doors close, you see her turn down the hallway towards the PRISON WING. You wonder what the hell her deal is today.

>Piratissimo: Rip off the traitorous arm.

You get really angry and rip the arm off.

>Next.

>Next.

Oh hey your ARM!

>Next.

Your rage causes you to begin overheating. You feel the many heads thrumming with fear, but they are powerless to prevent what will happen next.

>Next.

You begin to melt.

>Next.

But your spirit is indomitable. Despite melting into a pile of liquid metal and computer parts, you are still alive. Before the metal cools, you begin to reform your body into one of perfect unity.

>Next.

After taking a minute to cool down using your favourite anger management techniques you burst out of the TECHNOCHAMBER as a massive robotic monstrosity. You gain a whole bunch of random powers and upgrades. Who needs a FORK when you have SCIENCE?

Be careful not to get too angry again lest you lose control of your new glorious body.

[BrobyDDark]

>Piratissimo: Punch the nearest thing to death to test your new mighty abilities

[1011686]

>Past robot: Reattach your arms and legs, and get out of there.
>Current robot: Pick up toybot, place on head for safekeeping.
>Sam Cesar: Flip that big lever on the wall from off to on.

[luigi]

>Piratissimo: Punch the nearest thing to death to test your new mighty abilities

There is nothing within immediate punching range so you do lasers instead.

First, you absorb light from the stars.

>Next.

Your STARBLAST easily vaporizes dozens of TRITOPI.

>Current robot: Pick up toybot, place on head for safekeeping.

Holy shit is that your LEGS?

The TOYBOT confirms that it was LEGS, and then was PIRATISSIMO, and is now a GIANT.

You technically haven't failed your BOUNTY HUNT yet, your target has just gotten bigger. But where the fuck is your ULTIMATE SPACE WEAPONRY?

>Past robot: Reattach your arms and legs.

LEE: There are backup arms on my ship, and the legs should work if I press the reset button on the taint.
LEE: You're pretty much resistant to their lasers so if you just sprint through and don't stop to fight any of 'em...
LEE: You could probably make it to the dock.
ROBOT: BEEP BEEP.
LEE: It's the cube.
LEE: Quick note, there are no windows on it, so to see outside of it you have to use the telescope to peer through the walls.
LEE: Once you get used to it it feels pretty cool, looking out effortlessly any direction into space.

>Next.

LEE: Oh! And put all this shit in your chest trunk.
LEE: Never allow harm to come to the bunny doll, lest the evil spirit inside will reincarnate.
LEE: Normally it would try to psionically goad a sentient being into slaying it but luckily you're just a robot.
LEE: So I think it's probably a good idea to leave it with you.

>Sam Cesar: Flip that big lever on the wall from off to on.

You get a minion to do it for you. You're starting to deal with the comedown.

>Next.

The autopilot pulls the SHIP into the GARBAGE ROOM!

>Next.

>Next.

Well this isn't good.

>Past Robot: Get out of there.

LEE: Wait till I lock myself in the safe.
LEE: Then run for the ship.

You can't wait! You're definitely going to do a BOUNTY HUNTER ADVENTURE like the guy said. That sounds cool.

>Next.

You totally forget about him telling you to wait, and instead kick open the door.

But then you have an idea that's a bit more cinematic.

>Next.

You smash through the window and use parkour to escape.

>Next.

LEE: Did it do that on purpose?
LEE: 3v1 instead of 1v1...

>Next.

Unsurprisingly, he dies.

>Next.

The horned robot brandishes a terrifying HAMMER!

>Parkour dodge past it.

You accidentally parkour into it instead.

>Use your BLUETOOTH CONNECTION to take control of the big robot.

The blow grounds you, but after a short mental struggle, the giant submits. What would you have it do?

[BrobyDDark]

>Flam: Get even higher off of garbage fumes. Ascend to GARBAGE GOD

[luigi]

>Flam: Get even higher off of garbage fumes.

Flam? Who is this "Flam"? You are Sam Cesar. Always have been. The FORK says so.

>Sam Cesar: Ascend to GARBAGE GOD.

You grasp the FORK and engage FORKTECH LEVEL 84: ELEMENTAL AWAKENING.

>Next.

You use the FORK to cut a hole through the ship, before ascending downways to become one with the waste.

>Next.

The MONSTER OF THE DEEP senses its next meal and awakens...

>Next.

...but Lil Cesar is filled with RIGHTEOUS ANGER, and the might of a GARBAGE GOD!

>Sam Cesar: Kill it.

CESAR: THAT'S for trying to EAT ME...

>Next.

It lunges towards you, but you're too fast - and too angry - to be caught in its maw.

>Next.

CESAR: AND THAT'S FOR MAYBE EATING MY SISTER, OR AT LEAST BEING COMPLICIT IN HER DROWNING IF MY THEORY THAT MOM TURNED HER INTO A SPIDER IS CORRECT!

>Next.

The monster is dead. You feel like an unstoppable demigod, Lord of all things waste related.

What do you do first with this newfound POWER?

[BrobyDDark]

>reconstruct your sister from the organic waste

[luigi]

>Sam Cesar: Reconstruct your sister from the organic waste.

You use FORKTECH LEVEL 90: DIVINE IMAGE and attempt to recreate your fallen sibling from the waste.

>Next.

In this moment, the Flimtopus shits its final shart, propelling its fetid corpse into the infinite unknown.

>Next.

You are now Cinnamon Flim. Your body is being racked with both pain and power as you attempt to come into your new form as the Goddess of Garbage. It is a terrible feeling - unhealthy and unclean, your brain feels like it's made out of moldy towel fungus.

>EMPRESS: Realize way too late that FLIM and CESAR are gone.

>Next.

You are overcome with anger. You are this much angry.

>EMPRESS: Ground them to their rooms.

You decide it's time to finally step up as a step-parent and firmly discipline your kids, so you send your ROBOT SOLDIERS to arrest them.

>Next.

The squad uses the secret dumbwaiter that's been here offscreen the entire time.

>Next.

The ride is... comfy, to say the least.

>Next.

What the hell is going on here?

>Cinnamon: Reunite with your brother.

CESAR: >CINNAMON: DESTROY THOSE ROBOTS.

You are a GODDESS, and NOBODY tells you what to do.

You attempt to resist the command, but a part of you really wants to destroy those robots.

What do you do?

[BrobyDDark]

>destroy the robots
>but make it clear that it's because you want to and not because Flam told you to

[luigi]

>Destroy the robots.

"I've had a vision ... A whirlpool that sucks in all hope of life, and at its centre is [Cinnamon]," - Thor (paraphrased).

>But make it clear that it's because you want to and not because CESAR told you to.

To prove to your insolent brother that you're the one in charge here, you start directing some of your onslaught at him as well. He squares up in response.

>Next.

Meanwhile, the EMPRESS starts punching the wall in a fit of rage...

>Next.

The vibrations cause Cinnamon's corpse to slip free of the necktie, and she falls.

>Next.

Sam watches in confusion as his sister's corpse falls into his false incarnate sister.

>Next.

The Garbage Goddess transforms into...

>Next,

She transforms into regular Cinnamon Flim. Well, mostly regular. A lot of her body has been replaced with literal garbage so she smells really bad. Also she has no arms.

>Next.

You are now CL-01 (CESAR'S LEGION #1). You were worried your new God-King is going to get himself hurt, so here you are checking up on him. He seems to be unhurt, but he won't answer you when you try to ask him what all that ruckus was about. He's just telling you to catch that falling kid.

>CL-O1: Use your EXTENDO-SPOON to save the garbage girl.

You dutifully follow the boss's orders and save the kid.

>Sam and Cinnamon: Reunite

Poor kids. We'll give them a moment to catch up.

>Select your character.

Which robot do you want to be next?

>Past-Robot
>Piratissimo
>Present-Robot
>Clebe

[BrobyDDark]

>BE CLEBE
>DO THE PRE-VICTORY VICTORY DANCE

[luigi]

>BE CLEBE!

You are now Clebe. The CHEKHOV SUPER-LASER has finished charging, and as nobody was left to guard the controls its power is now yours. What do you do next?

>DO THE PRE-VICTORY VICTORY DANCE!!!

Fuck yeah. Celebrations abound. The power is now yours.

What do you laser first?

[BrobyDDark]

>laser the ugly giant robot fuck

[luigi]

>Start zapping those space invaders!

You zap the shit out of the space invaders. Damn, this is really addicting. It's almost like a video game or something. You even got a high score!

>Woo!

You take a quick break to do another celebration dance.

>Present-Robot: Get your legs back.

You've been trying! But it's hard when they gain sentience and transform into a giant murderbot. Also adding to the difficulty are the giant laser beams flying around.

>Destroy Piratissimo with your spear.

You wind up, ready to take down the menace.

>Next.

The spear flies through the air!

>Next.

Clebe, something weird has just popped up on your radar. What kind of target is that?

>Next.

The spear bounces harmlessly off of Piratissimo.

>Clebe: That's a big target.

Yeah, wow. Something that big has to be worth like, twenty points. AT LEAST.

>Piratissimo: Do a villainous laugh.

You laugh heartily at the futile attempts of the puny robot to stop you. Does it not know you are a god of robotic perfection? No spear could ever pierce your hide!

>Next.

Piratissimo's villanous laughs shake the entire ship. His mirth is felt all over. The intruder alarm finally goes off, warning the Empress and her crew of intruders in the ship.

OH REALLY? INTRUDERS? GEE, I DIDN'T REALIZE!!!

>Clebe: Laser the UGLY GIANT ROBOT FUCK.

You take aim...

>Next.

Piratissimo notices the GIANT FUCKING WEAPON locked on to it, and takes aim in turn.

>Clebe and Piratissimo: Fire.

The two lasers collide.

>Next.

Hundreds of LEGION BOTS and Tritopi perish.

>Next.

The TOYBOT valiantly uses its self destruct feature to launch the ROBOT to safety. Instead of being vaporized, the ROBOT loses its legs and gets launched into space.

>Next.

The ship is torn in half, but the kids are saved yet again by CL-01 and his trusty EXTENDO-SPOON.

>Next.

The twins see a familiar face. A friendly face.

FLIM: WAIT!! WE HAVE TO CATCH THAT ROBOT!!
CL-01: YOU KNOW. THAT BOT?
FLIM: HE TRIED TO SAVE US FROM ADOPTION!
FLIM: BACKSTORY STUFF BASICALLY!! I OWE HIM ONE!
CL-01: UM.
CL-01: DIDN'T IT. FAIL? IF YOU OWED IT. ONE. WOULDN'T YOU. HAVE BEEN ALREADY FREE. OF THE EMPRESS?
CESAR: ...
FLIM: WE SHOULD STILL SAVE IT.
CL-01: OKAY.
CL-01: ALSO.
CL-01: THERE'S NO NEED TO YELL.
CL-01: I CAN HEAR YOU JUST FINE.
CESAR: Oh.
FLIM: Oh.

>CL-01: Use the EXTENDO-SPOON to save that ROBOT!

You launch the EXTENDO-SPOON out after that bot, but some falling wreckage destroys the spoon! Hey wait a second, falling wreckage? How is that possible if you're in... space...

>Next.

Oh. Turns out the RED FRIGATE had been slowly drifting towards that planet over the course of the TRITOPUS INVASION. Now you're falling to its surface with no means of slowing your descent. Lovely.

>CL-01: Be a responsible adult and tell the kids they're about to die.

CL-01: DO NOT BE ALARMED.
CL-01: BUT WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE.
CESAR: Say it isn't so!
CL-01: I AM SORRY. DEAR CESAR.
CL-01: NONE OF US KNOW HOW. TO FLY THIS SHIP.
FLIM: So our options are to find another way to save that robot... or one of us will have to fly it.
CESAR: There's also... the FORK.
FLIM: ...
CESAR: ...
CL-01: SO. WHAT IS. THE PLAN?
>_

[BrobyDDark]

>Flim and Flam: Use....... THE FORK.

[luigi]

>Flim and Cesar: Use....... THE FORK.

Only one at a time can wield the FORK. Who will it be?

>Cinnamon Flim
>Sam Cesar

[BrobyDDark]

>FLIM! THE FORK! USE IT!