who readin the bible

[Generalrabogolfo]

I read it because I'm trying to beat the Jesus Christ videogame, but it didn't help at all. I'm stuck at Egypt and I can't open the Red Sea because I haven't unlocked Moses. How do I unlock him?

Have you tried talking to the Burning Bush? I've heard he's a vital NPC for the quest.

Maybe his quest is bugged. I heard of one session where for some reason the plages got bugged and the frog span generation broke.

[aspiringWatcher]

It could be argued that the Christian God's arc and Vriska Serket's arc have similar parallels. Observe.
In the Old Testament, God is an all-seeing being, who demands everyone's attention, and whose wrath often incur cruel and unusual punishments on people whom the anti-God (anti-Vriska) and religious (Vriska stans) fandom continue to argue over whether or not they deserved it.
In the New Testament, God is painted as a purely good being, who guides a human being, operating on a different realm from his entirely (Heaven vs Earth), who perishes in an unusual location possessing recognizable iconography in order to ascend to godhood, a feat which he accomplishes after a short while of being actually dead. This human being, possessing charisma and wisdom. With his power, he absolves the sins of his people, thus fixing everything, all while God takes most of the credit for it, thus generating endless controversy in the real life Jesus fandom.

So you're saying god kins Vriska Serket and John is a messiah

[classpectanon]

has anyone ever considered that hermetic kabbalah mysticism basically turns the torah into a JRPG setting because i think about that all the god damn time

[Prime]

Thanks I prefer bible fanfics

I tried reading dante's inferno but it's like he has it out for the Greek and Egyptian fandoms, which is really quite telling of the bible's fandom as a whole. So toxic.

[galileanTactician]

Thanks I prefer bible fanfics

I tried reading dante's inferno but it's like he has it out for the Greek and Egyptian fandoms, which is really quite telling of the bible's fandom as a whole. So toxic.

Dude just puts his self insert into the story just hang out with his husbando Virgil purely for wish fulfilment.
At least the lore of the world was pretty cool

[Generalrabogolfo]

Thanks I prefer bible fanfics

I tried reading dante's inferno but it's like he has it out for the Greek and Egyptian fandoms, which is really quite telling of the bible's fandom as a whole. So toxic.

Dude just puts his self insert into the story just hang out with his husbando Virgil purely for wish fulfilment.
At least the lore of the world was pretty cool

I liked the ending tho. Felt what someone would say 'cathartic'.

[galileanTactician]

Who here is a fan of the bible epilogues? Personally i couldn't stand how in Revelation Jesus, the kind lamb of God, murdered hundreds of people instead of being nice to them! baka so out of character

[MorganMustDie]

personally I'm more of a fan of Cool And New Religious Text
they got the characterisations much more spot on

[Generalrabogolfo]

personally I'm more of a fan of Cool And New Religious Text
they got the characterisations much more spot on

i think it was good but i find the translation to spanish to be more spot on with the humorous representation of it. Pijus Magnificus is way better than Biggus Dickus and theres nothing you can do to change this fact

[galileanTactician]

Imagine screwing everyone over because you ate a fricken fruit. Couldn't be me honestly.

[TH4NK YOU B3N]

i'm never going to read the bible 'cuz it's longer than homestuck

[sigmatic]

i'm never going to read the bible 'cuz it's longer than homestuck

i will never read the bible because it's shorter than homestuck

[Brandibee]

Did y'all hear about all the cut content? Someone made a compilation of the unused books called "Apocalyptica" or something, and the fandom thought that was that, but then there was even more stuff that the writers stashed in some cave out in the boonies! Wild.

[TobeWonInToronto]

brb reading Halakha instead


Judaism GOATed

[deadlyAdder]

i dont know how you guys can like this stuff, i tried reading and got fed up with God's bullshit attitude almost immediately.
"here's a really cool fruit that gives you lot of smart!! now dont touch it."
he might as well have set up big neon signs pointing to the thing. and then he punishes them for doing the obvious thing. baka worst character.

[harmoniousCalamity]

Unironically I've read the bible front to back at least several times as a child, but I have no recollection on what the fuck goes on in there at all.

[BrobyDDark]

When're we getting a Bible^2 where Jesus gives birth to the Easter Bunny in secret without telling his waifu and God decides to mind control a bunch of people and talks in overly long bunches of text?

[Generalrabogolfo]

just found out this amazing fanfic got deleted wtf guys? this is like, treason or something. i feel absolutely betrayed....

[classpectanon]

im unironically reading the tanakh right now

[Avery T Deaconari]

...does Sun Tzu's The Art of War count as a bible? (After all, it is pretty much the manual of military tactics; technology changes, sure, but war? War never changes.)