Headcanon Festival

[JakeMorph]

troll boobs are stingers. theyre full of deadly venom. thats why girls have them. to kill you with

[RoyalFiddle]

troll boobs are stingers. theyre full of deadly venom. thats why girls have them. to kill you with

Damn I wish I had sacs of poison on my chest.

My favorite fanon have been made canon (Grubscars) so I'm sitting pretty in the headcanon party room

[sylvarn]

troll boobs are stingers. theyre full of deadly venom. thats why girls have them. to kill you with

Damn I wish I had sacs of poison on my chest.

My favorite fanon have been made canon (Grubscars) so I'm sitting pretty in the headcanon party room

When are stingers becoming canon

It'd be good to know

[Prime]

I'm afraid never liked grubscars because artists who didn't hc them would be pestered by people who would insist they were (canon) years before fans were hired as artists for friendsim. I suppose I just wish they were more interesting than "whoa, cool alien biology". The silly names for troll body parts already achieve that effect, I think.

Like, what if grubscars are actually sheaths for explicitly sexual organs while nooks and bulges serve as catch and hook to anchor two trolls in place while they get down to business? And they're called grubscars because of the placement on the chest and the visual similarity to grub legs.That's what I call weird and gross alien biology. (spoiled for indecent lewdness hc)

And speaking of things about trolls that will never be explained, I don't think I've ever seen headcanons about the undead surrounding Kanaya's hive, "...which crawl from the sand at sunrise to feast on the light and the living.". https://www.homestuck.com/story/2323
Maybe its because I started reading during the gigapause and just missed out on them, but it's such a cool throwaway that undead roam Alternia during the day, at least in the desert where Kanaya lived that there has to be some speculation. I hope.

[JakeMorph]

i like to imagine the shadow droppers as being plant-based, like a photosynthetic version of the fungal cordyceps zombies that are currently popular in human fiction. that's why they "feast on light" and come out during the day; they pop up when the sun rises to photosynthesise, then lay back down in the dirt overnight.

in that respect I find it fun to think of them as being sort of like sunflowers, shambling from east to west over the course of a day to maximise the sun they absorb. alternian weather reports probably include a zombie warning that forecasts where the undead will be concentrated at different times of the day based on cloud cover etc etc.

with regards to grub scars I've never been a huge fan. partly because it goes against my understanding of insect metamorphosis which I find way more fun than grubs just dropping two of their legs and literally growing into adult trolls like a human would, but also because it's not that funny to me, and as far as I'm concerned the rule of funny should be the governing force behind troll biology. like what if troll guts were literally filled with parasitic beetles that digested their food for them. wouldn't that be hilarious

[VASKA]

I always imagined shadow droppers as kind of like, necromantic biological machines powered by the sun. We know rustbloods have some limited ghost-summoning ability, so I always imagined that powerful rustbloods could become or even create and control shadowdroppers. Imagine a shambling, rotting psychic empowered by the ineffable radiation of an alien sun that moves in a pack during the day and suddenly drops dead at night. Sexy, ngl.

[thorondraco]

I always imagined shadow droppers as kind of like, necromantic biological machines powered by the sun. We know rustbloods have some limited ghost-summoning ability, so I always imagined that powerful rustbloods could become or even create and control shadowdroppers. Imagine a shambling, rotting psychic empowered by the ineffable radiation of an alien sun that moves in a pack during the day and suddenly drops dead at night. Sexy, ngl.

The planet has been host to a horror terror for thousands of years. That probably has something to do with it.

[Tarty_]

Psionic trolls can change around the colours of their eyes like stage lights or even turn them off entirely, though the latter makes them look pretty horrifying. Does it make sense? Not really, but with trolls what's funny is what matters.

[sylvarn]

Psionic trolls can change around the colours of their eyes like stage lights or even turn them off entirely, though the latter makes them look pretty horrifying. Does it make sense? Not really, but with trolls what's funny is what matters.

I kinda like the idea that they only have their two colors and they can swap sides with them. Full rgb color isn't something I think they need, even if a psionic could function as a decent gaming PC.

[VASKA]

Alternia has very regressive and backwards laws. For example, being gay is illegal on Alternia, and women can't vote. However, these laws arent enforced as no one knows what "gay" or "voting" are.

[Sylandrophol]

bioluminescent seadwellers. that's all

[Flame_Warp]

bioluminescent seadwellers. that's all

Good post OP

[Wing]

Alternian twitter is exactly like normal twitter except for two details: your real name and home location are irreversably locked to your account, and if you kill somebody you get all their followers.

This made me laugh and I instantly thought "this is a good theory" so I'm bringing it up again to praise it.

Also

troll boobs are stingers. theyre full of deadly venom. thats why girls have them. to kill you with

Yes.
Deadly troll girls thank you very much. Man I wish human boobs had more purpose all the time instead of JUST when you have a baby. :/



Also, adding in my own headcanon: trolls can purr and make other weird insect/animal noises.

[RoyalFiddle]

I got one for you. We all know Void Rot exists, right, and it's a Goldbloods critical lack of Psiionic energy? What if the Undead that are mentioned that exist on Alternia are Goldbloods with late stage Void Rot, far enough along that they are chasing even Solar energy to stay 'alive'

[JakeMorph]

i think rule of funny says that the cobalt caste probably has a shaky reputation among trolls not dissimilar to the reputation vriska enjoys among fans, but also because andrew's commentary in the act 5 book around equius' introduction gives us a fascinating little glimpse into the place cobalts have in alternian society as a whole:

Though Equius is a notch higher on the hemospectrum, [he and Vriska] are both blue- blooded aristocracy whose castes maintain both deep contempt for those lower and (especially in indigo cases) exceedingly high regard for those above. The fact that they're neighbors suggests there isn't that big a divide between blue and indigo in terms of status and daily life. Both classes probably cluster together somewhat in a kind of snobby symbiosis, since they're one notch below purple-blooded clown hell, which is a radically different kind of cultural aristocracy. And both are one notch above the jade and teal middling classes, which enjoy some status, but both castes revolve around more functional, municipal services such as breeding administration and law enforcement.

a couple thousand sweeps ago cobalts were probably more likely to be lumped in with "common" castes like teals in terms of social position, and their association with mindfang and the gamblignant problem wouldn't have helped. before and for a short while after the gamblignants were wiped off the face of the planet blues would have overwhelmingly been the ones accused of having hoards of illgotten gamblignant gold stashed away in their hives.

in general i think a lot of trolls see cobalts as scheming, manipulative and self-interested, often serving to further their own wealth instead of the interests of the purples that indigobloods are seen as prioritising. the fact that they're ostensibly more prone to psychic mutation than other bluebloods would only add to this conception (though how true this is might be up for debate; perhaps other bluebloods are simply too proud or concerned about taboo to show their own mutations). i think the "symbiosis" between the two high blue castes comes in because the indigoes by and large essentially see cobalts as a threat; they have a lot of the same influence and physical strength as highbloods, but they also display certain lowblood traits in that they have mysterious psychic powers and a larger population than indigoes. i.e. if the cobalts really wanted to they could probably easily usurp the "hard-earned" status the indigobloods have built for themselves. so in exchange for sharing a little bit of their own clout and physical protection around, indigoes in turn are assured that the cobalts don't try to push their social mobility any further than they need to.

quite possibly the fact that in modern times tealbloods do most of their work in the confines of legal buildings rather than exercising their authority through interstellar violence could be blamed on cobaltbloods pushing their inferiors down in order to lift themselves up. but that would be speculating.

[ANCIENT_HOLIDAY]

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[thorondraco]

Nihkee is hip with the kids and has a surprisingly large young fanbase

She also fought to win against a violet blood. And won. She doesn't hold much stock in the hemospectrum.

[Sahxyel]

Nihkee is hip with the kids and has a surprisingly large young fanbase

She also fought to win against a violet blood. And won. She doesn't hold much stock in the hemospectrum.

Indigo and Violets apparently don't respect each other, Equius actually says this when talking about Eridan and why he doesn't bow down to his highblood shit, the only caste he respects is Purple like Gamzee for being at the tippy top of the land-based trolls. Something about this being done to keep the highbloods in disarray so they can't close ranks and potentially overthrow the Condesce I guess? I'm really paraphrasing this, I know this was mentioned before but it's almost 4am and I am sadly too tired to go dig this interesting nugget of info up right now.

If I remember later I'll go seek the info but I'm fairly sure that's actual canon in Homestuck.

[JakeMorph]

yep! the land dwelling and sea dwelling races are described as rival self-governing bodies that the Condesce plays off of each other to keep herself in a position of authority, and Equius says that trolls of his standing are obligated to be at odds with the mutant sea dwellers.

troll politics sure is complicated!

[Jettiz]

Diemen’s lusus is a sausage dog.

No one can tell me otherwise