Theory: Lord English's "poison"

[Robot_Face]

So the metaphysical poison which killed Meat John. What was it? It had never been mentioned up until that point.
At first I thought it was dirk using his narrative powers to retcon that into being true. (Using something closer to the real life definition of "retcon," not the in-universe retcon powers.)
But I just realized...
It's the exact mirror of something else we've seen in the comic. Another poison mentioned VERY early on, which is never relevant or even mentioned again.
John's peanut allergy.
How poetic would it be if it came up exactly twice - once at the very beginning and once at the very end? Like a pair of jaws enclosing his entire life.

[RoyalFiddle]

Well, the Egbert peanut allergy didn't come up again for John, sure, but it did come up for Jake and Jane, so I dunno if that's it chief. I think it either existed all along and we didn't know about it or Dirk was already working to destroy anyone else who could control the narrative. See, I personally think that Dirk's goal ultimately is to go beyond the confines of Homestuck and "Kill" the What Pumpkin Team, or even, do so and then realize that that's just another layer of the Narrative and that Dirk can never truly stop anyone else from controlling the Narrative

[classpectanon]

So the metaphysical poison which killed Meat John. What was it? It had never been mentioned up until that point.
At first I thought it was dirk using his narrative powers to retcon that into being true. (Using something closer to the real life definition of "retcon," not the in-universe retcon powers.)
But I just realized...
It's the exact mirror of something else we've seen in the comic. Another poison mentioned VERY early on, which is never relevant or even mentioned again.
John's peanut allergy.
How poetic would it be if it came up exactly twice - once at the very beginning and once at the very end? Like a pair of jaws enclosing his entire life.

caliborn fills his gold tooth with peanut for a divine sweet treat

[thorondraco]

Well, the Egbert peanut allergy didn't come up again for John, sure, but it did come up for Jake and Jane, so I dunno if that's it chief. I think it either existed all along and we didn't know about it or Dirk was already working to destroy anyone else who could control the narrative. See, I personally think that Dirk's goal ultimately is to go beyond the confines of Homestuck and "Kill" the What Pumpkin Team, or even, do so and then realize that that's just another layer of the Narrative and that Dirk can never truly stop anyone else from controlling the Narrative

I think they are keeping what is call the Furthest meta, real world, separate from homestuck. Cause how the fuck would they implement that? Have a random twunk chase the what pumpkin crew across town with a cheap katana?

[RoyalFiddle]

I think they are keeping what is call the Furthest meta, real world, separate from homestuck. Cause how the fuck would they implement that? Have a random twunk chase the what pumpkin crew across town with a cheap katana?

I mean, why the fuck not that sounds amazing, and if Undertale can have an interactive play Homestuck can have Dirk just fuckin run Hussie through with a 5 dollar sord

[thorondraco]

I think they are keeping what is call the Furthest meta, real world, separate from homestuck. Cause how the fuck would they implement that? Have a random twunk chase the what pumpkin crew across town with a cheap katana?

I mean, why the fuck not that sounds amazing, and if Undertale can have an interactive play Homestuck can have Dirk just fuckin run Hussie through with a 5 dollar sord

I am not saying it wouldn't be hilarious but it would kinda be really confusing.

Also i had the feeling that paradox space had John's number already and Dirk simply allowed him to die.

[Cheshire_Creeper]

I think they are keeping what is call the Furthest meta, real world, separate from homestuck. Cause how the fuck would they implement that? Have a random twunk chase the what pumpkin crew across town with a cheap katana?

I mean, why the fuck not that sounds amazing, and if Undertale can have an interactive play Homestuck can have Dirk just fuckin run Hussie through with a 5 dollar sord

No
Hussie plays Dirk and shows up as an in-character twitter thread
Then, through MOVIE MAGIC, Eboy!Hussie and Dirk!Hussie face off on a twitch account set up for just this purpose.
Tell me you don't want that

[RoyalFiddle]

Dude I do so bad

[Generalrabogolfo]

how could peanut alergy be so powerful to literally surpass the heroic/death system

[thorondraco]

how could peanut alergy be so powerful to literally surpass the heroic/death system

Not to mention presumably make him unable to resurrect again.

[Mentok Thief of Mind]

I interpreted it as just a somewhat dick-ish twist of the knife by Dirk. He had the power to let John live but wrote in some poison crap we'd never heard of before just to ensure it killed him and erased him from relevancy.

I think Dirk did that because he

1) Didn't understand John, who in many ways was diametrically opposed to him
2) Doesn't have time for characters he doesn't think are useful
3) Is a part of LE, or vice versa, or both, (or LE is a splinter of dirk's Ultself?) so maybe there's a slight grudge there
4) Retcon powers are useful to Dirk, but only in his hands. If he can't control them, they're basically his kryptonite over control, so. Best to get rid of them.

[thorondraco]

I interpreted it as just a somewhat dick-ish twist of the knife by Dirk. He had the power to let John live but wrote in some poison crap we'd never heard of before just to ensure it killed him and erased him from relevancy.

I think Dirk did that because he

1) Didn't understand John, who in many ways was diametrically opposed to him
2) Doesn't have time for characters he doesn't think are useful
3) Is a part of LE, or vice versa, or both, (or LE is a splinter of dirk's Ultself?) so maybe there's a slight grudge there
4) Retcon powers are useful to Dirk, but only in his hands. If he can't control them, they're basically his kryptonite over control, so. Best to get rid of them.

I think that generally Paradox space had John's number. His powers were uncontrollable and they nearly undid Homestuck itself by him not impulsively going after Caliborn. Alt Calloipe let him die.

Its more than just that John was a rival. He has no control of the power. Vriska senses it in Candy. Whatever the true nature of the Retcon powers, John has no idea how to control them and his influence affects everything around him, even in the Candy timeline.

Its possible whatever forces govern Paradox space deemed him to die. And Dirk simply played the part of executioner so he could influence the events for his own means.

Something to note though is that Dirk prevented John from being vored at least. So he needed John to make contact with Terezi. He needed John's body.

[thorondraco]

Okay i just posted here but i just had a thought. What if the 'poison' in question that killed John, was from the White Magnum Wand?

Presumably that white wand is where Lord english gets his immortal killing powers from. We see it, briefly, before he starts nuking ghosts and dream bubbles. considering his weapon eating rampage, its possible he swallowed the wand in order to give his energy blasts the power to kill the unkillable. Could be the gold tooth was 'coated' or somehow energized with the properties of the wand?

I say that because of the effect the White sword on English. It sizzled, described to be like Poison.

What if the reality of these weapons is their ability to poison the soul, perhaps even more than the soul, of an immortal? Maybe poison their ultimate self, cut them off from that abstract force? Perhaps it kills the ultimate self, perhaps it sickens it forever.

IT creates a strange parallel between Lord english and John. Both stabbed in the chest and poisoned, both finished before they even realized it.