Headcanon Festival

[barexamkind]

Everyone--tell me your Alternia headcanons:

Whether it's biology, culture, or anything else.

Give Me The Alternian Fanlore

[VFFN]

Trolls have chitinous skin! I basically headcanon them as big bug people.

[Sokota]

Alternia has a fairly (in)comprehensive educational system, Karkat mentions early on in the story "schoolhives" and states that Sollux should be "schoolfed". My HC is that they have maybe up to middle school education, but on survival techniques/related things rather than academic subjects. But it's just a vague HC!

[arachnoTherapist]

All of the trolls we see in Homestuck are actually males of the species. The mother grub and the drones are the females. The mother grub is the queen of the colony and the Drones are the workers. If you look at real life insect colonies though, they don't produce anywhere near the same number of males as they do females. The workers almost always drastically outnumber the males, so what gives here?

Well, mother grubs are incredibly rare and it's unlikely two will ever meet to be able to cross-pollinate their gene pools which would eventually lead to serious genetic degradation. The solution? Produce more males. Produce lots more males. If you produce enough of them then take genetic stock from all of them, eventually the mutation rate will overpower the lack of genetic diversity. This is also why trolls are so prone to weird mutations - cerulean eyes, goldblood psionics, mutant blood colours, etcetera. Their gene code is subject to huge selection pressures that drive them towards instability.

Unfortunately, this absurd number of males is just too much of a drain on resources for one colony to sustain on its own. So what's the solution? Have other animals raise them. Somehow the synergy with the lusii was developed in order to relieve stress from the mother grub and her workers. Is it some kind of pheromone? A symbiotic mind controlling fungus? Some kind of parasite that makes lusii affable to trolls? Who knows!

[arachnoTherapist]

Another one!

Trolls, like Spiders, are hydraulic. They contain an elaborate series of organic valves that allows the pressure created by the beating of their hearts to move their limbs. This is why when you cut a troll open there's so much fucking blood. It's because they need a large amount of incredibly high pressure blood to properly actuate their limbs. This would also mean that trolls move faster when scared (like spiders!) because their hearts beat faster and increase the pressure in the system.

[KnightOfRage413]

Oh boy I gave a mini lecture on my headcanons of troll biology and reproductive systems yesterday at the meetup (dressed as Cronus Lmfao). Expect me here often.

Basically if we go with bulge and nook theory of reproductive systems, why would there be differences between male and female trolls biologically speaking? An interesting theory: the female landdwelling trolls are closer related to seadwellers, meaning larger chests is for breathing purposes, and the black lips are fitting what with how Eridan is the only male troll consistently drawn with black lips. Fuschia bloods are one of the two seadwelling blood castes and they are exclusively female.

[barexamkind]

Alternia has a fairly (in)comprehensive educational system, Karkat mentions early on in the story "schoolhives" and states that Sollux should be "schoolfed". My HC is that they have maybe up to middle school education, but on survival techniques/related things rather than academic subjects. But it's just a vague HC!

Neat! I've always interpreted the schoolhive/schoolfeed system as it starting off as communal education for all trolls, then eventually shifting to just video lessons as trolls become older/more violent.

(Fuchia, Jade, and Tealbloods being exceptions, as their caste roles are different than those who become soldiers in the Empress' Army)

[barexamkind]

All of the trolls we see in Homestuck are actually males of the species. The mother grub and the drones are the females. The mother grub is the queen of the colony and the Drones are the workers. If you look at real life insect colonies though, they don't produce anywhere near the same number of males as they do females. The workers almost always drastically outnumber the males, so what gives here?

Well, mother grubs are incredibly rare and it's unlikely two will ever meet to be able to cross-pollinate their gene pools which would eventually lead to serious genetic degradation. The solution? Produce more males. Produce lots more males. If you produce enough of them then take genetic stock from all of them, eventually the mutation rate will overpower the lack of genetic diversity. This is also why trolls are so prone to weird mutations - cerulean eyes, goldblood psionics, mutant blood colours, etcetera. Their gene code is subject to huge selection pressures that drive them towards instability.

Unfortunately, this absurd number of males is just too much of a drain on resources for one colony to sustain on its own. So what's the solution? Have other animals raise them. Somehow the synergy with the lusii was developed in order to relieve stress from the mother grub and her workers. Is it some kind of pheromone? A symbiotic mind controlling fungus? Some kind of parasite that makes lusii affable to trolls? Who knows!

Interesting! I've never considered this before. However, the Mother Grubs seem to resemble lusii rather than trolls. What are your thoughts on this?

[tajazzled]

a headcanon about alternia:
-the planet is a little smaller than earth, and subsequently has slightly weaker gravity
-the atmosphere has a high oxygen content

these two things control either/or:
-the size of native flora & fauna, oxygen rich environment enables them to grow very large
-trolls being as advanced/intelligent as they are, oxygen aids in brain development
-the length of a solar sweep, distance between the planet and the sun/intensity of the suns heat
-low gravity allows unusually tall and elaborate architecture to be built
-high oxygen causes architecture to rust easily
-rust as a caste name takes on a more derogatory meaning here

[KnightOfRage413]

My contribution for today: troll horns aren't necessarily as sensitive as certain headcanons make them out to be, but allowing someone to touch them is still a fairly intimate thing. In a culture as violent as Alternia's, and with the physical strength of a lot of trolls, someone getting a hold of your horns means they could just as easily kill you. Ergo, only those you trust (aka those in your quadrants) are allowed to touch your horns and the area around it. This means that sensation in that area sends very specific 'oh yes very nice' feelings through your thinkpan.

I have more horn headcanons but those can wait for another time.

[rookie1978]

Trolls have chitinous skin! I basically headcanon them as big bug people.

Aren't the chitinous bug people just the carapacians though?

My contribution for today: troll horns aren't necessarily as sensitive as certain headcanons make them out to be, but allowing someone to touch them is still a fairly intimate thing. In a culture as violent as Alternia's, and with the physical strength of a lot of trolls, someone getting a hold of your horns means they could just as easily kill you. Ergo, only those you trust (aka those in your quadrants) are allowed to touch your horns and the area around it. This means that sensation in that area sends very specific 'oh yes very nice' feelings through your thinkpan.

I have more horn headcanons but those can wait for another time.

It'd be weird if someone just started rubbing your ears, right? But if it's someone close to you it's not really as weird, just a little strange, but somehow endearing. That's how I picture horns. I wouldn't imagine they have much feeling at all since regular animal horns don't

I mean, naturally, if rubbing the horns were a 'pleasurable' sensation wouldn't they be seen as indecent, up to a sort? That's usually how societies work. Nobody had to tell primitives to cover up their privates, they just did it instinctively because of how they're viewed/used. That's just natural societal progression, and since trolls still wear clothes and don't walk around naked, i'd assume their concept of 'private' and 'shame' is much the same as humans.

So I can very much confidently say horns are not erogenous things nor do they feel pleasurable to touch, or to have someone touch them.

[pfeffer-29]

Trolls do have secondary sex characteristics, but they're vestigial. Like arachnoTherapist said, trolls are probably all male. Maybe the chest lumps we see on "female" trolls used to hold eggs or something. I don't know, and we'll probably never find out.
I used to think trolls developed different bodies based on their gender, but then we got Lanque. (Who, by the way, is in the same vein as Vriska in that he's a horrible person but an interesting character.) Lanque's route was good, but he absolutely ruined my theory. Darn you, emotionally manipulative moth troll.

[lsclr]

Genitalia being covered/hidden is more of an adaptation against injury/discomfort. Try walking through a jungle with your dick out or running without a bra on. Remember also: Alternia doesn't really care about "don't do that in public" social norms. Trolls die all the time and live in a fuck or die society.

anyways heres a troll headcanon: Alternian twitter is exactly like normal twitter except for two details: your real name and home location are irreversably locked to your account, and if you kill somebody you get all their followers.

[livingNingyo]

I can definitely see Chittr functioning like that.

My headcanon is that Eastern Alternia follows more to a Imperial Japan mix in the modern technology. I mean, if we got a Sea Hitler, might as well play up more to historical parts across other places.

[thorondraco]

Have the theory that the Mother grub is in fact a form of biotechnology that the trolls used to unit into one species. It functions somewhat like ectobiology but in a more organic way.

Trolls retain gender in a vestigial sense in part because the reproductive process has less biological cues and has more supernatural cues. Relationships and emotions over survival of the fittest stuff. The forced focus on survival of the fittest has in reality negatively impacted the slurry.

[asocksual]

Can we do headcanons for specific characters?

[RoyalFiddle]

Can we do headcanons for specific characters?

I don't see why you couldn't! Tell us why Diemen actually likes Burgers more than Hot Dogs in a ten page essay! Expound upon Azdaja's secret adoration of Civara! Revel in the might of Marvus being an actual political activist!

[asocksual]

The reason Tagora instinctively holds his hands behind his back all the time is that he actually figets them around a lot and he doesn't want anyone to know. It isn't cool and businesslike

[VASKA]

I've always had this headcanon that the Condesce is the first ruler of Alternia as a unified state- that is, before the Condesce, there were many Alternian countries. Her rule was perhaps made popular by a vague promise of peace between the previously warring nation-states of pre-Imperial Alternia, even though she dominated primarily by force. This conquest also resulted in the extermination of all other living fuschias, and the previous fuschia rulers of Alternia are where the sheer amount of Fuschia genetic material that must be present in the slurry to provide Alternia with a constant stream of Heiresses comes from.

[asocksual]

Also remele and mallek are best friends and they make the troll equivalent of vines or tik toks together