Mold a Toblerone

[BrobyDDark]

Granted. You gain all of Hussie's talents, as well as his Unreasonably Large Lips which are a talent all on their own

I wish for more Incel fish in the comic, so I can make more dumb incel fish memes

[Oddhi]

Granted. Homestuck is now far worse than it would have been without them.

I wish that Hussie would tell me a bedtime story.

[MP the OP OG]

Granted. Everyone in it dies and you end up tratuised becuse of it

I wish people understood my irony

[SinkingSailor]

granted. They can no longer understand anything else you say EXCEPT your irony.

i wish i could write every homestuck character really well

[RoyalFiddle]

You can write every Homestuck character really well, but that's all you can do. Any time you try to create new characters, they always seem to end up being the same as a Homestuck character.

I wish to be transportalized into Rose's loving arms

[MorganMustDie]

Granted, you are transportalized into the arms of grimdark Rose, and she kills you on the spot.

I wish I could hold Karkat's hand

[BrobyDDark]

Granted. Hope you like severed hands!

I wish for more canon Johnrezi

[galileanTactician]

Granted! They now have an intense and passionate Kismesitude!

I wish for From Software to make a Dark Souls style Homestuck game.

[MP the OP OG]

Granted its short and buggy as fuck

I wish for the ability to speed up time

[Jxkyz]

Granted, you can speed it up with about 1 + 1/10^100 times the speed.

I wish to learn how to skate

[PilotBlackSmith]

Granted, but nobody cares because skating isn't a trend anymore

I wish Homestuck ended at game over

[aspiringWatcher]

Granted, but nobody cares because skating isn't a trend anymore

I wish Homestuck ended at game over

Granted. Homestuck ends at game over and we never hear about new Homestuck content again, or new Hussie content, at all.

I wish for a working Sburb copy.

[BrobyDDark]

Granted. It's a working copy of SBURB, and your session doesn't matter.

I wish trolls weren't so DUMB

[MP the OP OG]

Congrats all trolls are fucking uber-geniuses. The use their new acquired LIMITLES KNOLEGE to build a device that lets them teleport to you and kill you.

I wish I was smart

[Sokota]

Granted. Your brain becomes so huge and filled with all the knowledge in the world, it explodes and you die.

I wish I got accepted into Harvard.

[SinkingSailor]

Granted. It's an alternate version hellvard that only has trigonometry. And you are physically incapable of leaving. At all.

I wish i had a regular, unaltered, 8 oz. glass of apple juice.

[Jxkyz]

you get a 8 oz. glass of apple juice that can't be altered, i.e. you can't drink it.

I wish for some tomato juice.

[aspiringWatcher]

You now have a lifetime supply of it. Namely, you drown in a vat of tomato juice.

I wish for Homestuck to be good again.

[MP the OP OG]

Granted. Homestuck was always good. So nothing happens.

I wish I could teleport

[Sokota]

Granted. You can only teleport to Cleveland, Ohio, and nowhere else.

I wish I was, like, 7'5.